DFC #102

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Now use the dark powers in the bear to steal their souls! We must obey our master, Bealzibub!the wonder cheese

Ok, now growl really loud. With the amount of whiskey they downed this evening...I'm positive we can get at least one of them to wet their sheets. Tazabby

That's right Jeffy, if you hold your bear like that, it will counter-balance the weight of your head and you'll remain upright!Yakko

Gee, "Uncle" Roy looks kinda cute in that "Thel" wig.Tazabby

Your bear is well hung, but Thel prefers things that move on their own, like the mailman or even Daddy.anon

Looks like somebody learned to draw wood grain at yesterday's community college art class.Big-Poppa

Hey wow! It is true what they say about black bears!Rusty Russell

Yeah I know...if my bear was real I'd want it to maul them too.MechaGumby

You suffocate Daddy with the big one, I'll choke the life out of Thel with mine!! Those Menedezes were junior league!!munkihed

Sacrificing your Teddy Bear won't stop daddy from "visiting" you at night!Peter Lawford

No, that's Mom. If it was Uncle Roy, there'd be more action under the sheets.anon

See? Spooning is when the heads are next to each other...What you're doing is called a "rim job".Dave the Fave

If you really want to scare them, yell, "POLICE! SEARCH WARRANT!"anon

It was nice of the morgue to lay them out together. We don't have to spend as much of the inheritance for sheets.anon

They can't hear you PJ; I told you, they're dead.... Tonight we sleep: tomorrow we grab a cup o' joe and follow the plan... two milk-carton kids take our place in the beds and then we torch the place. The cash is already wired to Freeport and we're booked on a Liberian freighter to freedom!orlando

It's not working; they're not reacting at all. Maybe an exorcism requires an actual crucifix, rather than a teddy bear with outstretched arms.New HTML user

Come to think of it, I wouldn't kiss your saliva-covered bear EITHER.Blaine C

Don't worry, you can tell them about accidentally microwaving P.J. in the morning.Pirate

Look at those hips, look at those saggy tits. Jeez Jeffy you look just like grandma!Yakko

See, Jeffy! I told you if you rub your face against it just right it feels just like Mommy's "special area."Evil Ed

No Jeffy, oral sex is done facing each other. Weren't you paying attention?anon

There's no way you're gonna close enough to verify it without waking her. Just take my word for it; during the birthing process the opening expands to pass an infant about the size of your bear.jerright

You're wasting your time... they only do it with *live* animals!orlando

Err no, you won't get blown up. The charge is..uhhh..shaped!YEAH! That's it! Shaped! So, you won't be hurt. Now stand still while I go outside and push the plunger.zazu

... what about the time he snuck behind you and put the banana in your holster right when the DFC had you in it's cross hairs, huh? So stop acting like a little pussy and light the goddamn fuse. It's pay back time!zazu

You can sacrifice ALL your stuffed animals to her if you want, but she's STILL gonna bite off your wee-wee unless you kill Daddy.BuzzCut

She woulda kissed your bear g'night, too, 'cept she doesn't love you.Roy

Check out the perspective line on the mattress, and then tell me Daddy's not levitating in his sleep again.The Lawyer

Good practice run. Now let's go and replace Teddy with the chain saw and do this again.Anastasia

My goodness Jeffy, you really ARE hung. Too bad all those DFCers can't see it!Anastasia

Yeah, they just kinda passed out there after smoking all your stash. So I just covered them up and left them there. Look on the bright side! You get to sleep in their room tonight, where Dad keeps his porno stash! Turn about IS fair play after all.Anastasia

Three baby aspirin and a half cap of Nyquil an' he thinks he's a teddy bear! What a fuckin' lightweight!Vice Pope Doug

Sorry Jeffy -- you're up next, and I don't think you can convince them that "Teddy" is an acceptable substitute!Vice Pope Doug

*Sigh* Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could have beds, pillows and blankets of our own? Oh well, we'd better get back under the kitchen table before they wake up and tan our hides. Tazabby

I know this gag has been done to death...but I'm REALLY feeling melon-headed tonight. Tazabby

Jeffy no! Don't put him up there, he'll stick to the sheets fer sure!kafka

Forget about what they're doing up there, check out all the "strap-on" captions building up down here!Greg J

That novelty urinating teddy bear gag never gets old, I tell ya!Greg J

Are you sure you'll be able to explain to them how you got that teddy bear glued to your face?Magus

It was truly a tragedy when Bil was severely mauled by a bear. However, while the physical wounds healed, the resulting phobia of bears was an endless source of entertainment in the Keane family.Greg J

Nevermind what they're doing. See how many NINAs you can find in the bed's wood paneling.a. hirschfield

Isn't that cute, Jeffy... they're spooning. Which means we probably just missed the forking! Ha! Get it?! Spoon... fork... ahhhh, you're so stupid.ferret

"You don't want to get in there. Dad's colostomy bag opened up again."Mr. Clean

Yeah, you're right-- that would look better on her head than that doofus 'do of hers.Horselover Fat

Honest, they're done for the night, and I'm sure Mr. Teddy has seen enough to know what to do to Mrs. Teddy.Stefan Jones

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