DFC #114

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Cool, Mom! If you let the milk get old enough, you don't need to add cereal!Roy

How many times can you find "Nina" in my cereal?Enus Yorl

Mom, is shredded wheat supposed to twitch?Magus

As you can see, when Spam is soaked in milk for 4 hours, its true ingredients emerge.Ald

Go Dad! Hit her in the face once for me! That'll teach her to serve us a bunch of lawn clippings for dinner!Greg J

Hey, I warned you that Trix were for kids. Next time I'll rip off more than some hair, ya fuckin' silly rabbit!Greg J

Ummm, lets see...Nice crunch..stays crisp in milk..minty fresh breath..Hey, I guess eating Pine Needles for breakfast ain't so bad after all!zazu

Hey, I got five fingers! Isn't that against union rules or something?zazu

Try Dennis Learys' " Horkin' Fiber Chunks " cereal. Comes with a FREE roll of toilet paper!Doc Evil

Munch!...Munch!....GULP!...Gee Mom, you were right, leprosy-scabs in milk really DO taste like chicken!Kafka

And when I'm done, I simply shake my head and get a refill from my cranial funnel.Soil Creep

Hmmm, Jeffy's scalp in a bowl with milk and sugar. Mmmm, Mmmm good!anon

Wow! Food AND a shadow! Could this be the best day of my LIFE????Joe Blow

If Gran'ma's special cereal doesn't unplug me, nothing will.Joj the Spiv

Hey, kids! Billy here with another Breakfast-Time Hellraising Tip! Trace the three curved lines that form my head and brow and superimpose them. Draw this pattern in blood on parchment, place it in a pentagram and . . . whoops, out of time for today! Tomorrow, the Incantation! In the meantime, enjoy a bowl of "Dumb as a Bag of Hair" flakes with me!Stefan

Tell Bil that if he wants to generate some good "drug abuse" captions, he'll have to give me a bowl of weed that has fewer stems, and either a smaller coke spoon or a bigger nostril.Joe Klein

Are you sure this is what is meant by a "bowl" haircut?Baby-Eating Dingo

Yeah, I'm aware that in the 1600's the indigenous peoples of the North American Atlantic coast were able to obtain sustenance from all sorts of naturally occuring plants, but I think most readers won't be able to make the connection. Face it, Bil - this Pocahantas product placement won't pay squat.Joe Klein

Hi, kids, I'm Billy Keane. You know, I love Shredded Wheat cereal so much, I'd eat 'em every day even if my dad didn't pin me between the table and the wall and refuse to let me go until I'm done.Diggit

Hi! I'm your friend Billy from the Dysfunctional Family Circus! When I'm not busy abusing drugs, encouraging others to abuse drugs, being abused, or doing otherwise sexual, violent, unnatural and probably blasphemous things, I love to sit down to a Biiiig, fuzzy bowl of Follic-O's! So be like your ol' friend Billy here, and tell Mom to "Buy 'em now, bitch!" (now gimme my endorsement check an' let me the fuck outta here!)Vice Pope Doug

Mmm, thanks, Mommy! No one makes stew from freshly slaughtered dotted line like you do!The Outsider

You know, I don't mind the nostril captions, because that means they haven't noticed my pig nose yet.Hugh Jass

Hay? Mom, I said I was so hungry I could eat a horse. Not eat like a horse. See the difference?Anastasia

Thel's horror at what she had done was so immediate and so complete that she couldn't bear to even acknowledge it. The dry, hot Arizona air left the body in remarkable condition. The only evidence of the passage of time was the mounting colony of mold groRotter

Hey, how many legs do raisins have?Lefty

I wish you guys knew how extremely difficult it is to keep eating all this soylent green and family members/pets. For some reason, being poisoned isn't so difficult this time, though.Greg J

I will give any of you $20 if you can tell me just what the hell this shit is.Greg J

Eating mower clippings with a spoon! Bil, you zany guy! You'll try anything for a laugh, wontcha?Bill Fortier

If this is the last of Barfy then this must be the last of the "eating Barfy" jokes, right?Bill Fortier

A hubcap, insulation and a soup spoon? I thought I smelled some hellatious hemp over in the prop department!Bill Fortier

In our continuing investigation, let us review an old frame showing early product placement in the strip. Here Billy Keane is shown smiling over a bowl of Mudd's Startrekulaur Tribbles Breakfast Cereal. The product was on the shelf less than a month before lawsuits bankrupted the company. Conciendence? Or does it have a deeper more sinister connection with the other examples we have already seen?Thweirdo At Large

It sure is great to get some fiber back in our diet -- even if it IS only the trimmings from Mom's haircut!beeblezorp

Whoops! Watch out, everybody! Sam had some monster ticks!Milo Bloom

Yeah, it's a little bony -- but I still say no one makes ciopinno likes Mrs. Corleone!beeblezorp

Wheat-o's: Breakfast of inbred, one-nostrilled, melon-headed champions.insane

Damnit, mom, I dunno where you got them this time, but if you get flat spoons one more time, there is gonna be one hell of a beat down.insane

Scabs! They're not just for healing cuts and scrapes any more!nobody

mmmm, I just love Wacky Wheat cer...CUTTTTT! Could we get a fill light in here, pronto? Ive got one hell of a shadow!zazu

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