DFC #13

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Hey! Who jizzed in da milk?Dan Bailey

Two percent milk? What's the other ninety-eight percent? anon

"Because it's not my turn to Heimlich Jeffy and my cereal's getting soggy!!!"Andy Ihnatko

"Mom! Jeffy's 'purging' himself again!"anon

You were right, Dad...the cereal stays crisp twice as long
when you use vodka instead of milk!Andy Ihnatko

"You know that girl we've got chained up in the basement? It says here her name is Amanda Lee."Larry Hastings

Is this the kind that makes its own gravy when you pour on the milk?Blake

Mom! My head's twice as big as Jeffy's! What's IN this milk, anyway?Lord G

Mommy, Jeffy's stoned again!Mike

"Mom! Can we get AIDS if we drink this 'Homo' Milk!"Steve Pruitt

Ya know, Jeffy might eat faster if you'd teach him how to use a spoon!Adam Schabtach

"Since when is Ritalin the Breakfast of Champions?"rfd

Mommy, why do I see pretty lights in my head every time I drink some of this milk?Magus

What do they mean, "missing"? He's buried in the back yard!Kt

Jesus, Mommy! Do you and Daddy have to do that while we EAT?!Ron Martin

Mommy!! Jeffy said Elvis went to hell!! Make him stop!! Make him stop!!Redheadsuckah

But you promised that you wouldn't blow the foodstamps on cold cereal and liquor again!!Redheadsuckah

"Wait a minute...these aren't Sugar Smacks...they're (dramatic music) TERMITE EGGS!"Paul T. Riddell

"Um...Mommy? I'm seriously starting to doubt there really is such a thing as 'Chunky-Style Milk'..."Andy Ihnatko

Maybe if dad didn't spend all our money on booze and gay bathhouses we could get a decent breakfast every now and then!zazu

Then the guy came outa the shower naked, strutted into Daddy's room and proceeded to...well here, let Jeffy show you.zazu

Well, I wouldn't be spilling the milk all over if you'd taught me how to hold a spoon right.Trism

Mom, when you say legal adoption,exactly what do you mean?Jan-Allen Garber

No, Mom, Jeffy's not allergic to the shrimp. That's just his hair.the Shagman

Daddy, is the steroid they use in the cow the same one that makes our heads enlarged?the Shagman

Yes, Jeffy, that's what I think of Bil's cartoons too.anon

Mommy, when will you be lactating again? This milk sucks!Kenny G

Mom, at Becky's house, their milk is white, and they don't get it from the faucet...The Verge

DADDY! For God's sake, put your pants back on!anon

Why are we using spoons? The carton says to use a trowel.zazu

Y'know this stuff ain't half bad s'long as you don't mix part B with itanon

Mommy, pull up the DFC! I've got another idea for a milk carton gag!Theo Van Gogh

"D-Con"? That's a funny name for a cereal...tv

Mom, can Jeffy move on from dry cereal to the good hard antifreeze? I'm already on the blood-brew mom made for Grampa...AK

Ha ha ha ha ha! The humanoids still suspect nothing, but using what they call "milk" I have managed to make my brain size twice as large as Jeffy's....AK

Mommy told me that I'm better at kissing than you are, Daddy! Monkey Boy

Hey, ya know, Grand Marnier DOES float on top of milk!anon

Can't we go to the park instead, Daddy? You took nekkid pictures of us *yesterday*.anon

"Mom, Jeffy's chokin' on a clump again. Why can't we ever get NEW milk?"Mr. Clean

"Mommy, my breasts leaked all over the table again..."Your Favorite DFC Fan

Are you sure it was a good idea to give Jeffy a whole bowl of Prozac? He keeps popping those things like there's no tomorrow.El Vez

"Kibbles n' bits, kibbles n' bits - Mommy I want MORE kibbles n' bits!""Uncle" Al

"Yellow moons and green clovers I've seen before. But when in HELL did they start putting little blue capsules in 'Lucky Charms'?""Uncle" Al

This sucks! How come Jeffy gets the bowl of uppers and all I get is a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?Kittycat

That's real nice of you to help out mommy and all, daddy, but I don't think P.J. is supposed to be nursing on you like that!anon

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