DFC #135

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Dolly! Hurry up before the DFCers bombard this place with "Pull-My-Finger" captions!anon

What are you doing mowing the lawn? I thought that's what we bought those fucking kids for.Bongbrain

Those soaps did it to me again. We gotta have sex right here, right now, or I'll start screaming.Zebra

Dammit, Bil. East and west, not north and south, look at all the other lawns in the neighborhood, you fucking non-conformist.Gump Master Flex

Bil, How many times have I told you not to wear shorts? You're scaring the kids again!Yakko

You mulched PJ? Are you insane? Do you think kids grow on.... never mind.paTRICK heSTER

The tree and the grass are very nice dear, but you forgot to draw the neighborhood.anon

Upon sighting the escapees, the overseers release the robotic lawn mowers to deal with the problems. -From "Newt's Kids: A Guide to Rules in A Gingrich Orphanage."anon

You have to touch my hand before I take over. This is tag team mowing.ChoppingBlock

No, Bil, what I said was, "While the kids are busy, get me another John, dear!"Charlie Steinhice

Damn, must've forgotten to secure the second story bathroom window. Release the hounds!MechaGumby

I don't care what your therapist says, it is not healthy for all three of them to be humping a tree.Toozday

Bill, You imbicile, don't you know an ambush when you see one.Mad Mike

"Bil, I *told* you to stop watching that "NaturePorn" video! The kids are humping the tree again!" jan

LET-IT-GROW!!! If it even VAGUELY LOOKS like we're threatening the kids, our nosy neighbors'll call Child Protection again!not elsie

Did you get that mower from Tim Allen? I wanted the grass cut, not paved!Roy

PJ's over by the tree, you idiot. What are you doing over here?anon

When they try to come down from the tree again, please say, nicely, that Mommy wants them to play outside a little longer. Please don't run at them with the mower screaming, "Stay up there you little fuckfaces!!" -- it upsets them. Thanks honey -- I know you can do it.Vice Pope Doug

Will that thing run if you tip it upside down? If so, one quick shake of the tree and our problems are over...War Gerbil

The kids got into your Vietnam souveniers again. I'd watch that heavy brush for land mines, if I were you.Keef

It's called "Survival of the Fittest". You "accidentally" mow down the first rugrat who falls out of that tree and we cut our food bills by a sixth!Riff

You've treed them, Bil! Now go get a chain saw and finish the job!Roy

Be careful. Grandma is passed out drunk in the high grass.Anastasia

No, I don't think you could convince the cops that you "accidentally" hurled the lawn mower into the tree.Pastor of Muppets

Back to the DFC Archive index