DFC #136

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

They're forgettin' to move the headstones! Haven't they seen Poltergeist?anon

Wait a minute here...has anyone else noticed just how much Dolly looks like Pac-Man?Thomas Wilde

Billy watched in sickened fascination as the finger moved in apparent slow motion from her nostril to her mouth. If there's a nail gun on this site, he thought, it's got her name on it.Roy

Gee, that house looks like PJ after Daddy got through with him.HarryK

We've burned down Bill Gates' house three times, and he's having it rebuilt again! He just doesn't get it!!anon

Idiot! Mom said "Ranch Style"! Not Continental! Now we'll NEVER get dinner!Jason Whitmore

I bet you can't walk on the top beam after chugging a six pack.ed munster

That Joanne Liebler is one fine piece of ass in a tool belt.Zenmaster

If Dolly knows so much about residential construction, Billy wondered, why'd she build this abomination with a five foot wide front door and no roof trusses?Ron Denton

Nah, some families get their homes built for them. Not everybody had to butcher the previous tenants and hide their body parts in the crawl space.Bongbrain

Yeah, that's Charles Schulz' new house all right. He builds a house twice as big as a competing cartoonist's right in his neighborhood, then makes a big show of torching it with a pile of hundreds. Man, he can be one sick fuck.Rotter

According to the Dolly Lama, the birth of a house is the source of endless suburban agony. Let's prevent some pain with this matchbook!Ethelred

Hey Look! Bob Vila fucked up again........didn't leave a space for the door!DrDave

See, all you have to do is lie on the forms and look really pathetic and Jimmy Carter will come to town and build you a house. B

Only Dad would need to build a liquor cabinet this big.anon

And that was just with one finger. So don't mess with my stuff, is that clear?anon

Hey, I thought you clicked on "no frames."Charlie Steinhice

Dolly stopped, her mouth hanging open. She had found it: Pyromaniac's Nirvana.Thomas Wilde

Silent Bob stole a schematic from some foolish carpenter and found a weakness just like the fuckin' Death Star. He figures here, you pull this crossbeam out, fuckin' bikity-bam! the whole place comes crashing down!War Gerbil

That's where that kid was playing, and fell and broke his .... his .... you know ... that thing that some people have between their head an' their shoulders!Vice Pope Doug

As Dolly prattled on about sheetrock, wiring and insulation, Billy realized yet again that not only was his sister a dyke, but an extremely boring one, at that.Vice Pope Doug

C'mon. Dad said he needed kindling.Dead Parrot

The sign of a true DFC'er: the Keane family lawn ornaments are placed out before construction on the house is finished.The Outsider

Gesundheit!Greg J

I saw Bil transfixed at the window. I couldn't figure out why, until I saw the construction worker drinking his Diet Coke...Dave the (anally-retentive) Fave

That's Schultz's new home. It's becoming a regular "Washed-up Cartoonist's Retirement Villa" around here...Dave the Fave

...and then I said 'Gimme a pack of Newports and all the money in the register' and the guy just stood there like...hold on a minute.."Look Billy, I can see the skeleton of that house"...sorry, had to pay the bills. Anyway he's just standing there...VitaminTom

So why didn't the Three Little Pigs just call the cops?Anastasia

Now we each pull one plank at a time. The first person to make it fall loses and has to go to school tomorrow wearing nothing but pudding and whipped cream.Tazabby

Qualitatively, the incidence of felonious activities only substantiates the current theory of suburbian revolt of the inner cities. By the way, did you remember to buy Krylon this time?Blaine C

That's the last time I light up on burrito night!Riff

Yes, but note the palladin windows, ionic columns and denture moulding details! It's definitely influenced turn of the century Gothic style tempered by a whimsical touch of I.M Pei with the pyramidal glass ceiling! By the way, pull my finger! zazu

C'mon, Billy! If we can arrange a few "accidents" around the work site, we'll ice that Vila schmuck and Sesame Street'll be on a half hour earlier!Riff

...and then Mrs. Clinton said we can triple our investment in just six months, TAX FREE! Mad Mike

When they found out we lived next door, they just stopped work and drove away.Joe Blow

It's amazing what you can do with used popsicle sticks! What did you make, a jewlery box?Riff

Say, have you ever played mumbletypeg with a nail gun? No? You're in for a real treat, o sibling of mine!anonymous

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