DFC #143

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

This is where the Atlantic Ocean wells up. If you can hold your breath for long enough you can swim out of this strip.Rocket Scientist

I'm sorry, but it's not the same without Billy. GOD the things he could do with a loofah!Peon

Daddy! The water is ice cold and we're shriveling up like prunes! Will you PLEASE just let me show you where Waldo is?Vitamin Tom

Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is he was muttering "I'LL show THEM dysfunctional", and it was everone in the tub...bland

No, Jeffy, it's double ended, so you have to share it with me. I'll insert my end first . . .Stuart Smith

Looking at this picture, I don't feel a caption is even necessary to make this dysfunctional. Christ, will someone call the feds on this family already!alanon

Aw shit, we'll be here all day while he tries to find the hidden pictures in my Highlights Magazine. Bongbrain

Dad? Mom's stopped squirming, can I get off her face now?not elsie

Dad, Jeffy's new boat smells funny! It doesn't even LOOK like a boat, but it floats!anon

Just when you thought it was safe to bathe with your entire family...the DFC is back!Thomas Wilde

Jeffy, you're in denial! That is a cookbook he's reading! Look, most faucets don't have Low, Medium, and Well on them either!Bill Versteegen

Never mind, "What's in my hand?" I want to know what's in your lap!Orion the Hunter

"I've seen daddy do this before -- first, he looks at the pictures and mutters to himself, then the pants-monster comes out, and daddy has to beat it until it vomits."Imhotep

I know Daddy doesn't have a boner, 'cause it's Difficult Zone, an' you know Daddy doesn't have a boner 'cause it's Difficult Zone, but does Daddy know ......Vice Pope Doug

What are you talking about Jeffy? Everybody knows that the best way to go is drowning.Cheezo

Don't worry, PJ, it's not so bad after the first time. Tell him about you and daddy, Jeffy.ninailer

"Daddy's a genius, isn't he? Who else would have thought of recreating the La Brea tar pits in his own bathroom?"Paul T. Riddell

How long do you bet before he notices Billy hasn't resurfaced?Charlie Steinhice

Look, he's got a bottle of Nair on the counter. What do YOU think he's going to do with that?nine elle

Dad, who gave PJ beans? We didn't want a bubble bath!The Flatulent Falus

Oh, don't mind him. He's just been in a stupor ever since he saw the laundry on the floor and realized that Mommy got her rock-firm butt out of the Frederick's catalogue.Rotter

Oh, "Billy, Billy, BILLY!" For the LAST time, Jeffy, Jesus didn't stop PJ and me from holding him under, so Billy's a sinner! Are you a sinner, Jeffy?Rotter

Billy doesn't have to take baths. He sheds his skin every nine days, like Mom.Rotter

Huh? We're on again? Aw, crap. Well, at least we had a month off to take baths, get medical check-ups, go to the bathroom and stuff without comments from bored college students...Rotter

Very good, PJ! You finally found my clitoris!The Lawyer

..so as I see it our financial position could be greatly enhanced since Larson's retirement. Billy, you look into calendar and greeting card endorsements. Jeffy your job is to survey the market for soft toys and and novelties..see what you can do about getting us a shot at Leno and Letterman. I want your reports on my desk by C.O.B Monday. Let's strike while the irons hot, boyos!zazu

OK, which one of you geniuses gave Geisha Boy approval for this panel?zazu

Daddy, get the putty knife. Jeffy's rectal mucus is congealing on the floor.Schickelgruber

We're kids. We're supposed to pee in the tub. What I can't understand is why DADDY peed in here, too!Matt in the Hat

I said the warm water makes it nice to SIT in the tub! SIT, you morons!Matt in the Hat

See? Daddy's latest issue of " NAMBLA Illustrated " came in today. Good luck, boys...Heh-heh...Doc Evil

Ok. Let's Get this overwith. Paper Rock and scissors to see who get to be the decoy.Smeghed

Ferget his boner, guys...it's those bunny costumes on the floor that worry me...Doc Evil

I don't care if I'm shrivelling up like a prune. You know as well as I do that the first one out encounters "Dr. Bill, Proctologist".myke

Yeah, the bad news is that PJ peed in the tub. But the good news is, we get warm water for a change!myke

I don't understand what took Vice Pope Doug so long - If I'd seen this cartoon in the paper, I woulda bought a scanner just so I could submit captions for it. Joe Klein

And, interestingly, Dad also shaves over the toilet.Paul Roub

It's no use. We can't wait him out. The ol' perv is perfectly willing to sit there all day for a chance to "dry us off."Noiro Hikosase

I'm going to be telling a therapist about this when I grow up.Anastasia

But Jeffy, fair is fair. If we're going to play the Poseidon Adventure right, we've got to drown you.Anastasia

That must be one hot issue of 'Barely Legal' if Daddy hasn't gotten in the tub with us by now.Prune Danish

Sit still or the Jell-O will NEVER harden!Prune Danish

The skin mag I can handle, the ritual bathing I can handle, I'm not so cool with the face-of-an-angry-satan bathtub faucet.zapper

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