DFC #147

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Y'know, Hungarian goulash looks the same goin' in as it does goin' out!Doc Evil

So...This is my brain on drugs, huh? Can I get some bacon and toast to go with 'em?Doc Evil

This haggis doesn't taste half bad when you wash it down with a pint of scotch.Schickelgruber

Daddy sure knows how to put the piss in pissghetti!Changa

Ooh look! Kraft Macoroni and Cheese for dinner! What a SUCCESSFUL cartoonist Daddy must be to spend so extravagantly on his family. Say, is that a glass of REAL tap water?El Kabong

I've patiently grown the tiny beings on this plate, advanced them to sentience, helped them along the path to civilization and now, I, their malevolent GOD, will EAT THEM!!! HA-HA-HA-HA!!!Blue Gargantua

"Where do the larvae get those little cigarettes, anyway?"Larry Hastings

Dolly's favorite pastime at dinner was trying to find the straight pins Mommy always hid in her supper.Vudoo Child

Late at night, I would creep back into that hovel of a kitchen and dig out a plateful of macaroni from the garbage. As I listened intently to the orders transmitted through my pronged telecom, I would cough up a digestive saliva that dissolved any organic substance and swallow it back up like the Terran housefly. As I sloughed up this primitive mixture of carbohydrates and artificial preservatives, my most frequent thoughts involved a side of fava beans and a nice Chianti. -- From the memoirs of Dolly-Nutbustron of SiriusThe Smoking Mirror

Dolly's mouth dropped open with amazement as the magic beans sprouted and began growing towards the sky.Hank The Hoser

Heh, heh. I can see these three trip-wires on my plate, Mom. You'll have to do better than that.alanon

Mmm-mmm, deep-fried dotted line! I can just TASTE where Billy's been!Greg J

Earwax or mommy's cooking. Earwax or mommy's cooking. Earwax or...Vitamin Tom

You know, if you stare at this stuff on the plate the right way, a 3D image of edible food pops out.Vitamin Tom

Ah, Barfy on rice. The only difficult zone this headed for is my stomach!Hugh Jass

I'm not saying that it isn't Macaroni & Cheese; I'm just saying that I saw it move.Vitamin Tom

You just didn't believe me when I said I'd feast on your steaming entrails if you touched my Barbies again, did you, PJ? Who's laughing now, you little bastard?Paul S.

Ahh, fresh gagh! Who says you have to be a Klingon to eat like one??anon

Wow! Macaroni and cheese! Looks like this year we really do have something to be thankful for!Rotter

"and then, all of a sudden, the limp noodles got hard as steel, stood up on the plate, and started jabbing me in the eye over and over and over again until I woke up. What do you think that means, Doc?"Rotter

"And remember, Moms: 50cc's of thorazene per serving is merely an economical way to keep the kids in a quiet stupor all through your dinner party. But 100cc's is murder." -- Martha Stewart's PARENTING, Dec. 1996Rotter

Who needs utensils when I've got nostrils!!! *SCHNARFLSCHNARFFFTSCNNFFFFTT!*Rotter

I can just smell the ptomaine.Tazabby

When you're floating in Limbo, every meal is macaroni.Ravecavy

Mmmmmmm! I adore fresh vermicelli -- the REAL stuff, mind you, not that stupid fake pasta!Jessica Steinhice

Oh wonderful. Another eating panel. Will Dad never learn the DFC lurks around every corner, just waiting for an opportunity like this? I wonder what the fuck they'll claim I'm eating this time. Barfy? Sam? Jeffy? The chicken we sacrificed in the basement earlier tonight? Yep, the abuse never ends.Anastasia

So the Pilgrims that couldn't afford turkey ate the traditional macaroni and cheese, eh? Yeah, right. Lemme guess - those were the Pilgrims whose daddies blew their whole paychecks at the liquor store, right?Charlie Steinhice

Now I sit me down to eat a big ol' plate of Barfy meat. If I should die before I'm through, then Up yours, Keane, and Fuck you, too!The Lawyer

Where's the shingle?Andrew

You know I hate Billy's guts!Thomas James de Longueville Charteris

Does anyone remember if I purged or not?yakko

...and thank you, Lord, for giving me the strength not to puncture the hand of a certain you know who who's grabbing my you know what under the you know where... Bongbrain

YAY! Chum again!The Boy

You know what? This soup kitchen chow ain't half bad once you get used to it.Tazabby

'Sigh' "Just once I wish my agent could get me in some Japaneese Anime..." 'Sigh'Andy

Once again, Dolly decided to forego her mother's meatloaf and instead eat whatever was in the ashtray. Rev. Jason Whitmore

Bet this is the last time Billy says 'Eat Me!' to anybody!RBByrnes

You know, if Mommy doesn't get over her obsession with the book How To Eat Fried Worms soon, I'm going to have to hurt her.anon

Forget it, God. There's nothing to be thankful about today.The Hanged Man

I'm impressed. I can't find find a single pubic hair this time!Misanthropic Sociopath

Mmm, mmm, nothin' says lovin' like roadkill stuffin'!Don Spudleone

"Yes, plate of food, I am listening. What? Kill them all? Yes plate of food. I will obey."PianoMan

So Gilligan says to the Skipper "If I fall asleep I'll turn into a vampire bat." and then they fall asleep and have a weird dream sequence, and then the tape shows 'Uncle Roy' porking Barfy. I think P.J. was there also. Why are you crying, mom?Bil Keane - The Anti-christ

Mommy's on vacation. Today's meal was prepared by seven-year-old Billy.Grizz

Nope. Not even doing my Jughead-eyes can convince me to eat this slop.Riff

What, oh WHAT will we do about America's health care crisis?Luke Skywalker

Mmmm... Hot toothpaste again!anon

Oh wow! Mommy, your Magic Macaroni is the best high ever!anon

ALLRIGHT!!! mommy's afterbirth AGAIN!!Spamby

Eating Barfy -- or eating Barf? Discuss.Vice Pope Doug

On second thought, I think I'll eat my ear instead.Cheezo

Thanksgiving just ain't complete without a plate full of intestinal worms!Jan Keilek

And so I said to Jeffy, "If you mention my PMS one more time, I'm gonna dine on your fresh steaming entrails!" And he just laughs at me, you know? Anyway, what I'm saying is, I'm really going to enjoy this little meal, you know?Amazing AlKirk

"Dolly's bouts with bulemia became more and more pronounced, and her methods harsher and harsher." -- Billy Keane, "Family Sideshow, My Years Inside the Vicious Circle"Retard

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