DFC #16

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"Don't worry, pops, baby-factories like mom are a dime a dozen.""Uncle" Al

Daddy, do you ever get that "no so fresh" feeling?anon

"I wish I could be on there, and get far, far, away from you."Tim Harrod

Well, Dad, the reason that cloud looks like a jet is because IT IS a jet, you moron. The Unmasked Revenger

Bad touch, Daddy, bad touch!anon

This crossover with Terry and the Pirates turned out to be pretty lame, huh?Horselover Fat

Jesus! All I did was ask for extra peanuts...Davest

I always wanted to be in your masculine arms when World War III started.Nethicus

"So you're saying God could smash Mommy's plane to the ground like he was flicking a bug?"Tim K.

"You're sure you packed the Stingers?" I asked. "Of course," you said. "Because the Iraqis aren't paying us eight million to infiltrate an air base and just watch Air Force One take off," I said. "What do I look like, an idiot?" you said...Andy Ihnatko

Amazing how with Ufimtsev's equations for calculating electroreflective cross-sections, that plane could have the radar signature of a ball bearing eh? OK, carry me back to my office...I've got a conference call with CERN in an hour.Andy Ihnatko

No, the UN's secret surveillance craft are black helicopters. That one probably belongs to the Elders of Zion or maybe the Ninth Directorate.Andy Ihnatko

Make this one go "BOOM" too, Daddy!Patrick-Gabriel

There goes Mommy with the Ricky the Pool Boy.NCB

So what happens when it hits the edge of the panel?Avram Grumer

Who do you think Mommy thought about just before the plane went down - you or Mr. Gibson?Carl Montgomery

Hey Dad, don't ya just wish you could be that high?the brian

Well, they're off. We'll see if they cleared Customs on the six o'clock news.anon

Daddy, why is Mommy a stupid whore?anon

Dad, you're wrong. The cloud doesn't look anything _like_ a mushroom! Of course, my eyeballs are melting.tom jenkins

Gee, Daddy...do you think that in Heaven, Gramps' look...AW, God-DAMMIT! CUT! I said CUT!!! Leroy, can we lose that friggin' plane in post?Andy Ihnatko

Don't worry...it's just another one of THE LOCKHORNS' reconnaisance planes. Man, imagine someone trying to swipe ideas from us...!Andy Ihnatko

So if you were on an airplane, and an angel got sucked into one of the turbines and caused a crash, would you automatically get into Heaven?Andy Ihnatko

I've seen Mommy come out of my closet lotsa times! What's so special 'bout this time?ZAZU

Why'd that guy want your pilot's uniform so bad, Daddy? I don't think gun-toting maniacs should even be allowed to fly planes.Lord G

"Told you the X-ray machine would catch you bringing me as carry on luggage."Mr. Clean

"When I grow up, I'll get me some boobies and I'll be a stewardess, too.""Uncle" Al

If God meant for us to fly, Daddy, he wouldn't be throwing those thunder bolts at the plane!anon

"I never realized this before, Dad. In addition to your oversized butt, you also have a _very_ bad haircut."anon

You mean when Mommy comes back from Sweden, she'll be a daddy too?Sisyphus

This clock can't be right, its running backwards.Roxanne LeReaux

I have two questions...Why is the sky blue, and why do you have your hand down my pants?SatanX

No shit it's an airplane, Dad, now get your thumb out'a my asshole!anon

Daddy, is that the plane we'd be on if you hadn't blown our vacation money on smack?Pete B.

"FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE...." Aw shit, it didn't go off. I told you to let ME do the wiring!Pastor of Muppets

As big as your butt is, Dad, I don't think the people in the plane can see it.Trism

"Daddy, When I grow up can I be an Islamic terrorist?"Supa Hex

It's a plane, stupid!Adam

What'd we fall? 26, 27000 feet?anon

...and since the air travels further over the wing than under, that creates a vacuum and provides lift. Now I have one for you. How could you possibly be my real father when you are such a dumbass?Blake

(giggle) Daddy? (snerk) Your hand is really (giggle snerkle) cold.Starvin' Marvin

Sitting in a cow pasture watching planes go by... You call THIS bonding?David J. Johnson

If you sing "Leaving On A Jet Plane" again, I'm gonna tear your nads off.zazu

You left /Gilligan/ in charge of signalling the plane? GodDAMN it, you know he'll screw it up, just like all the other times!Craig

Honest! I saw Grampa on the wing. He was growling and tearing up panels like it was tissue paper!?

Well, I guess you can add jet planes to that list of things you can't draw for shit!zazu

don't worry dad, maybe the next plane will see us and rescue us from this god awful cartoon.anon

Well, Father, I thought it was going to be difficult at first, but I must say I think I've adjusted nicely to the fact that your torso has been fused to an oversized dress shoe. And, yes, that IS a nice plane.Jer

It's moments like these that make up for all the unfair punishments, disappointing Christmases, and missed Little League games. I just pinched a loaf on your inner thigh.Jer

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. That aftershave has got to go, though.anon

While mom's away can we play some nice Dvorak instead of her dissonant Prokoviev cubist trash ? Dave

Daddy......Why does it hurt when I pee?anon

"When it explodes, can I sift through the carnage, Daddy?"anon

Hey look, his parachute isn't opening up. This is turning out to be a more entertaining afternoon than I expeccted.Greg J

Honestly though, if we're to promote this ventriloquism act as a family show, you'd better cut the cold hands jokes...Rusty Q.

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