DFC #163

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Hold it in, I told you! We can't afford to lose the secret documents they implanted into your cartilage! Now wipe your nose...GENTLY...the Austrian border is just a few blocks away...little daniel jones

Don't worry, you get used to the Zyklon-B after being at Granma's for a while. The part that gives me the creeps is when she makes you dig your own grave.Schickelgruber

If you're not getting the DFC in stereo, you're only getting half the incest jokes.Greg J

So much for making it into Grandma's Aryan nation, oh ye of weak immune system.anon

You knocked the vertical hold off you idiot!anon

Grandma and Jeffy stood speechless as Dolly used her telekenetic powers to force the spray back up Jeffy's noseMad Mike

You're lucky! Last time that happened to me, I bit Uncle Roy's clean off!RBByrnes

Ever wonder how DFC reaches newspapers across the country? Here, in rare footage, we can see the cellular division used to replicate America's favorite family of tears nationwide. The sharp-eyed will notice evidence of mutation between the daughter cells.Blue Gargantua

That sneeze, the wimpy mustache, your constant singing of " I Got You, Babe! " No two ways about it, Jeffster...You've got the E-Bono virus!Doc Evil

Are you gonna eat that?His Imperial Majesty

How dare you spit out Daddy's Holy Sperm! You'll burn in Hell for that!Bubba

"Yep, it's Ebola alright. See the way your skin is dissolving off of your scalp?"Speed R.

I hope the first person to send in a "Pull my finger" caption gets the same debilitating illness you got, Jeffy.Skippy the Wonder Dog

That's German for: Granma loves me more then she loves you.Chaz II

Ha - that's how she cursed Gran'pa right before his heart exploded.Schickelgruber

The marketing disaster of the sixties: Family Circus Asprin.Preacher/Judge

"Hey! Whadaya call Jeffy the crack whore with a runny nose? FULL! Get it Gramma?"Speed R.

Gesundheit my ass! More like "AZT, butt boy!"anon

Ich will Sie toten!Pastor of Muppets

There, now do you believe she was an elite guard at Auschwitz?Wildgoose

New from Vicks - the Family Circus(tm) multisymptom cold remedy. One side's a powerful decongestant; the other is Roofies.Joe Blow

Nice work, Jeffy! I TOLD you we could get word balloons in here if we tried!Charlie Steinhice

According to this strip's vapid theology, I am required to cutely misquote some lame, whitebread invocation of Yahweh to protect your soul from the damnation you risk every time you sneeze and let a demon into your nasal passage. "God mess you!" Jojo

No, I am the ' Walrus '. ( K'coo - K'choo ) You are the ' Eggman '...Doc Evil

Back to the DFC Archive index