DFC #169

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Christ, the things I'll do to get a bead at Mardi Gras.Yakko

"Damn! Not again. One of these days they're gonna realize that I sleep face down, and I won't wake up."Jack Slade

This nun fantasy is gettin pretty old, Dad! azazael

Seldom is told the tragic ending of Gulliver's Travels when, upon entering the disproportional world of Keane, Gulliver was eaten alive by a crazed child bombed out of his mind on airplane glue. The Mongoloid Moose

Okay!!! Stop taunting me, damn you!!! If I kill them all, will you finally let me sleep!?!The Mongoloid Moose

Ok... i got the pillows, got the inscence, got the condoms... what did i forget? oh..THE FUCKING GIRL! The 5th Beatle

Alright Dolly, that's enough! Geez, I'm sorry I said you throw like a girl!The Almighty Afro

Jeffy screamed as he saw what was left of his champion hermit crab, and realized he never should have stiffed the mob.Greg J

The Incest Fairy didn't leave me my five bucks!!Matt Thiel

Repeat after me, Bil: bed, pillow, head... bed, pillow, head.6His

Dad!? Could you keep the folding in there down to a dull roar?Truant

Rise and shine yourself, bitch; you weren't up all night pounding back scotch with Andy Capp.Bongbrain

Come on, Ida Know, quit fighting it. You know you want me!Amazing AlKirk

Is that a piece of my lung? Damn, I have got to quit smoking.Anastasia

You call that penetration, Daddy? You only knocked one tooth out!Schickelgruber

Fuck, she's gone. Well I guess I should have known; people don't actually go out for ice at 3am.Truant

Billy calling Orson. Come in, Orson.Sgt. Spam

Oh, man! What a night. I feel like someone shit in my mouth. What! What the hell is this?!? I'm going to kill KittycatBubba

Not again! Mom, we GOTTA cut back on the mousse!Charlie Steinhice

"That's it?!? Damn--I'll never live up to my reputation as 'Peter North Jr.'!"Bezdomny

"Jeez,havn't you ever heard of Vasiline,dad??"Russell P Liddick

Dammit Thel, if you'd buy us some fucking milk or something our teeth wouldn't keep falling out.ninailer

No! Don't go Mr. Bedbug. You're my only friend.Anastasia

"After a night of terror-filled dreams, Billy Samsa woke to discover he had been transformed into Toad from the Super Mario Brothers games." --Franz Kafka, MetamorphocircusRavecavy

Dad, I am arching my back!phonsux (actually ,my brother)

Great. The Tooth Fairy passed me over again, but the Brain Tumor Fairy managed to make another visit.The 4-Star Pope

"Help! Grampa's ghost is trying to smother me again!"The Fat Man

Aaaah! I'm crazy pillow-head boy! And I'm hungry! Gimmee some candy!sharon

Was the sun rising or setting? Billy could not tell, for he could barely raise his head enough to breathe. All he asks is "Why me... why me..."sharon

When Billy awoke he was enraged that instead of the Tooth Fairy leaving a quarter under his pillow, the Grain Fairy had left a sack of wheat flour on the back of his neck.Dark Roger

[insert Exorcist reference of your choice ... ]Riff

I told you nanites to keep it down!His Imperial Majesty

The pillow is speared on my stupid cowlick! Could I get some help here?phonsux


"Dammit, you nanocephalic crustaceans, if you don't get this routine down pat there won't BE any 'head lice circus' at Show 'N Tell and it'll be Kwell City, kapeesh!?Orrin Bloquy

Damn, I'm outta shape! I used to be able to do pushups with two pillows on my head!Pastor of Muppets

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