DFC #173

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Fun ?!? We lost our great dugout seats because Bil here suddenly decided he was channeling Talluah Bankhead and just had to sing the national anthemn!Dr. KNob

Dad's group sex suggestion was so sick, even Wade Boggs turned it down.Anastasia

Nah they won. We're still pissed from being weaned.Yakko

We got kicked out of the ballpark because that bastard kept trying to pick up the batboy!Tazabby

Hey mom, Michelangelo Antonioni followed us home. Can we keep him?Hans Gruber

For Crissakes Mom, that's the last time we take Daddy anywhere! By the time the game was over, he was so high that he refused to leave, he just latched on to the door an' wouldn't let go! The security guards had to take the friggn' thing off it's hinges!anon

That's the last we trick-or-treat at Charles Addams' house. Friggin' Lurch here won't stop following us, and every house we stopped at, he pulled that tired old "You rang?" bit!Schickelgruber

Mom! You shrunk him AGAIN! How many times do I hafta tell you, cold water cycle only!!!Charlie Steinhice

That's right, P.J., enjoy it while you can. But the day will come when you'll have to be seen in public with Daddy, and then we'll see who has the last laugh.anonymous

Public stonings just aren't as much fun as they used to be!Big ol' Bob

I don't care if that Dalai Lama guy has chosen PJ as his next incarnation, this is the last comic book of mine that he's getting in tribute.Klaus Fluoride

Ok lady listen up! Things are going to be different around here from now on. You will now refer to me as Gengis Billy, and this is my right-hand man Colonel Jeffy the Enforcer, followed by the Minister of Propaganda Fraulein Dolly. If you attempt to resist us, I think that you will find the Colonel to be quite persuasive, just ask the emasculated blind guy over there.Klaus Fluoride

How was the game? Our team pennant is a blank white flag. How do you THINK the game was?The 4-Star Pope

Okay Ma, brace yourself...Dad takes a fast ball to th' noggin, and now he thinks he's the manager of " The Partridge Family "!Doc Evil

I don't care if your new boyfriend DOES take us to the ballgame. AND buys us souvenirs. I refuse to be seen in public again with a grown man wearing Elton John glasses and carrying a purse!anon

You blew it lady! We saw into your plan, and that's why I brought this little map with me on on that "nature outing" Daddy took us on!Jason D. Sinclair

"The Game was fine until he called Wayne Gretzky an 'Old washed up pussy of a hockey player'!! It took ten people to pry them apart! After it was all over, Dad's mouth got him two black eyes and a broken nose" Huggy "Don't call me Don Cherry" Bear

So there we were, waiting for the eclipse, and the guy warns us not to look directly at it! But does Bil listen? Noooo...Ratman

How was the game? What you should ask is, "How was fishing numb-nuts out of the drunk tank again"?Schickelgruber

"Pour this through the bleachers, Billy", "Go rinse this in the fountain, Billy", Fuck him AND his colostomy bag!Gromble

Alright, sistah. Give with the little bastard, or "Goggles" back there'll give ya five across the lips!Paul "Pablo" Reed

They put us on the "Magic Vision" and all the cops in three states could see us. Grab the kid and pile into the van. The fuzz will be here any minute.nonentity

I still don't understand these "theme" photo shoots. I mean, we're all just gonna take our clothes off when we get there.Truant

Jack'n at the ball parked blew! All we got were this program, some old hat, and Daddy only nabed one purse!Truant

We were ambushed on the way home by those white trash kids from Gasoline Alley.Anastasia

This is our agent, and he's got a few words to say about this here "contract" we're under.Riff

Quick tip, Mom. Never go to Yankee Stadium on bat day! Those things hurt!Riff

Your stupid idea didn't work! It turns out they make blind people pay to get into the ballpark like everybody else.Trotsky

Yeesh. You moon three batters and they throw you out of the park! Fuckin' commies!Riff

"Geez, Thel! Dad wouldn't let us stay and see the looting after that thrilling Stanley Cup win!"Dave

Cock-fighting, Ha! If you ask me, that's FALSE advertising!bobby

"Mommy, he's wearing the night vision goggles again and swears the disosaurs are coming. Was there PCP in that last hit?"jaina solo

All the way back we tried and we tried and we TRIED to explain it to him. Would YOU tell him why he lost the Ray Charles lookalike contest?The 4-Star Pope

Why don't you ask the ELTON JOHN IMPERSONATOR if we had a good time at the game!Bongbrain

We got kicked out when Daddy got into a purse-swinging catfight with Dennis Rodman!Rotter

Who could enjoy the game? Dad was always next to us staring at the third-base coach with his X-Ray Specs and fondling himself!!Rotter

It was the Fudge Packers over the Nancy Boys 9 to 6. That's the last time we'll bet on Daddy's team!Crack Her Jack

Well, guess who's too weak to even lift the hammer to ring the bell at the carnival? Geeesh, what a wimp.Pastor of Muppets

"Bil got his head caught in the garage door. We didn't even see the fucking game."Thomas Wilde

It's not fair! Dad got a head liposuction, and he didn't even need one!anon

Now if YOU had just caught Reggie Jackson's winning home run ball, and someone reached over and grabbed it, you'd put his fucking eyes out to woulldn't you? ....well it was whine whine whine the whole ride home.Scooby

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