DFC #178

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

When I said I loved you enough to give ya a kidney.. I meant LATER!Cindy

PJ! It's cards NOT cherades! Besides, I already know your answer, its 'daddy'.ChoppingBlock

PJ, when I told you to go beat off, thats not what I meant.Azazael

MOM! Will you please give P.J. back his crack pipe?Prof. Moriarity

Hey, look. You bet your soul. Not me. See you in hell, P.J.Prof. Moriarity

Increasingly given to violent fits of rage and refusing to wear anything except camo, PJ, the world's littlest Gulf War veteran, was slowly losing his final battle with Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.not elsie

Geez...all right, all right I'll give them back...just tell me where DO you find "The girls of pampers" playing cardsI'm in love with Anastasia

Damn it PJ...when I said for you to give me signals when we play bridge, I was hoping for something a little more subtle!RBByrnes

Mom,will you get "Lee Majors" off of me,I'm trying to play Go Fish and I can't concentrate with all these wierd noises!!Jago

Jeffy, if this is the best of the goons you can afford, I don't think I'm gonna pay back that loan.Greg J

"Also, 'Raging Bull' never spent six hours sitting in his own excrement. Stop living the lie, P.J!"Jizmo the Wonder Horse

Look on the bright side - Tarot cards aren't _always_ right.anon

Mom, will you please call that asshole hypnotist and tell him to convince P.J. that he is not the energizer bunny?Tazabby

In 20 years, when he's in therapy, all he's gonna remember is how I beat him damn near senseless, he wont remember at all what an annoying little shit he was. Sigh! Being the oldest son can be a real burden sometimes.anon

"Hey, I thought these new cabbage patch dolls were only supposed to eat your hair!?"Rainman

Torture me all you want, but I will never tell you what your middle initials stand for! Never!!!! Mwahahaha!Sgt. Spam

"Mom, will you please tell this little Aryan shit that I am NOT Jewish?"Nightfall

"Ow! I'm telling you-ow!-that television-ow!-doesn't-ow!-cause violence-Jesus, that hurts!-so letting PJ-ow!-watch Walker, Texas Ranger-ow!-won't matter at all-ow!"Thomas Wilde

Daddy, what do you and PJ do on your trips to the lake? I mean, I say "go fish" and he fucking freaks!Truant

Look you little snot, that's not going to break up my kidney stones.yegr

Have you been plating mortal combat again? Quit trying to rip out my spine or I'll rip out your fucking heart!jegr

PJ, when I said I'd give you five bucks to bang me all night...His Imperial Majesty

Mom, PJ's having a 'roid rage again.His Imperial Majesty

....and this one shows you and Dolly with "Mr. Wiggly." Bet you don't leave the door open next time, you little pervert! Ow!Gromble

"P.J., It's no use. You drew the Joker; you have to blow daddy today."Moorlock

You've got a lot to learn about "fisting".anon

Mom, PJ's channeling Shiva, the 8 armed Hindu goddess of destruction again!Anonywuss

...and here in slow-motion we see exactly why you should only install your infant's car seat in the rear of the vehicle, unless your passenger-side Billy-bag is disconnected.Uncle Maria

Dammit, PJ! That's a PBS pledge drive. Wishbone will be back any minute.kevy

Daddy!, PJ's gulf war syndrome is flaring up again.Truant

Listen, you ASKED me to read your tarot cards, if you don't like the fact that they predict a life of lonely unfullfilled bitterness, take it out on dad. It's his genes.Otis

PCP in the formula ain't a good idea. Colin

So, you lost your soul in a game of poker. I guess that'll teach you to raise on two pair, you stupid shit!Schickelgruber

No, PJ! When Daddy isn't around, "Hit me" means deal me another card!Riff

PJ never suspected that we had replaced his regular water with Water Joe!Water Joe

`For Billy, the worst thing about being made into the new `slugboy' for Grandma's traveling freak show was having his sessile form pummeled by a jealous baby brother..' -- from Circle of Pain by Jeffey KeaneStefan Jones

Hey! Watch the kidneys! The only way I'm gonna be able to afford college is to sell one of them.Stefan Jones

Hey, Forrest Gump! If "through" doesn't work, try "Around!"Rotter

Alright, fine. We can play strip Go Fish if you really want to.Anastasia

Who's the idiot who bought him Mike Tyson signature pajamas?Anastasia

MOM! Ross Perot won't quit bugging me!Jim Smith

In the Keane house, there wasn't a lot of money, but there was a whole lot of love.When Billy's chronic constipation would act up, there was no laxatives to spare, but there was always PJ...DR. SCHMUCK

That's it, that's it... We'll have you in fighting shape in no time, and then you'll show that little bastard from Baby Blues who's boss!Cassius Clay

"Jeez, PJ, I'm sorry you're hungry, but I won the last hand, and it ain't my fault mom's bet involved breastfeeding!"sewer urchin

There's no point in letting you play strip poker until you're out of diapers. That's final!phonsux

"I'm guessing you just found out that I'm your father"Speed R

Ahhhhhh... Who needs a Barcalounger?Doc Evil

Give it up you little punk, those kidneys are hardened by years of drinking.anon

Tell your man to back off, Lopez, or I leave this game with all your money.Smokin' boner

With a sickening "pop pop pop" and a blast of pain, Billy knew his life was changed forever. PCP-addled PJ had just torn 3 vertebrae from his lower spine.Diggit

You think I care if both mom's nipples are busy? Now back off, 'fore I open a can of whup-ass and spill it!Gromble

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