DFC #197

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Over there is the closet where we keep the furniture when company's not here.Greg J

C'mon, Mr. and Mrs. Bombeck! If we all crowd into this side of the panel, we can roll it and escape this peculiar newsprint hell!Mighty Owl

"Oh, yeah? Well, why don't you go take a look at what Bil's doing to P.J. right now and then tell me that our universe is ruled by an all-loving God!"Shifter

Watch how well I have Billy conditioned. In a moment, he'll come running out of the tub to pull my finger!Joe Z

...and that's where we used to keep my dignity and self-respect, but they have been missing for years now.alanon

While Mr. Jones was accosted by the wily toddler, Mrs. Jones, noting that her dress matched the color of the couch, held perfectly still like the peppered moth and avoided detection.anon

"The boys already hugged you goodnight? Heh, heh. We-eell, I suggest that you give me a twenty dollar finder's fee for each credit card that I'm about to recover . . . . "phonsux

Ok, the toilet's available now. Billy killed that rat.Tazabby

As Thel prepared the body paint, Dolly made her proposition to the couple who had answered the Keane's ad in Swinger's Connection . Bil waited behind the two way mirror to record the upcoming pederastic ( and highly profitable ) action.not elsie

Daddy wants to know when he can have his sports jacket back. He has another plane to catch next week.Charlie Steinhice

Non, no, look this way. If you look at the circle to your right, it violates the "fourth wall" and ruins the reality, such as it is.Charlie Steinhice

Bad cartoon? You're soaking in it!!! Doc Evil

So I said, if I could walk that way, I wouldn't need a prothsetic leg! Thank you, you've been a great audience.Anastasia

I keep telling you... This diagram shows it's NOT a fucking pyramid scheme!Al Gater

Could you please stay? We only get furniture when there are guests over.anon

Dennis Rhodham was right, you people are weird.anon

Wanna come see my collection of dried baby hands?Mr. Nasty

Wait a minute! I recognize you! You're not distant relatives after all! You're that brush salesman from several cartoons back!Ratman

You're going to die up there...Colin

"....and this, is our bondage mask collection. Granted, it's not very impressive, but we've got enough for everyone to enjoy 'family hour' and really, isn't that all that matters?"Tony's Dancing Clams

Suddenly having a horrible flashback, Dolly started directing her guests on a tour of "Washington D.C."Livin' In Deep 13

It's almost sun-up and I notice you're not reflecting. Would you care to use our guest coffins?The Hanged Man

She's lying. Daddy's not on a business trip. He down in the basement with a bottle of ripple, crying into his old high school yearbook.Jojo the Spiv

See? This is the doll Dr. Schroeder gave me to show her where Daddy burnt me with cigarettes.Jojo the Spiv

"And I say that perception is reality - you don't like that you can ge the fuck out!"FatSkinnyWhite

I don't know what "gazongas" are, lady, but my Daddy sure likes yours!Vice Pope Doug

OK, folks...Billy, Jeffy, and PJ are all bound, gagged, greased, and ready to rumble. Who's first?Paul "Bring out the Gimp" Reed

Suddenly, the living room was filled with a dead silence. A curious Thel peeked out the kitchen window, only to find their neighbors, the Johnsons, and her own daughter frozen in their steps. They had been enveloped in Zip-A-Tone,Thel realized...and she was next.Ultra-Girl

That's our other brother Chester. We can't let him out now, he bites. He has proven that a human can survive without food for 3 weeks!JustSayOz

I'm not pregnant, Mr. Social Worker. And it wasn't that man right over there that did it. More scotch?Skywise

That's my father Bil over there. We usually ride him pretty hard for portraying us as hideous, melon-headed freaks in his comic, but seeing you guys, I guess things could be much, much worse. S.

Stayin' alive, stayin' alive, HA Ha ha ha stayin' aliiiive!Rainman

Him? Oh, that's just Uncle Roy. He's harmless most of the time. But I wouldn't make any sudden moves if I were you.Anastasia

..."What was that?" Wonder Woman asked. And then the Invisible Man goes, "I don't know, but suddenly my ass really hurts!"! Goodnight! You've been great!Rotter

...well, he did and now he's in his room bawling his eyes out. Mister, you march straight in there and tell him that real cartoonists do draw one-panel strips!!!Rotter

"I don't CARE what'll happen when the Lord comes...I'll have you know that we keep the dessicated SPLEENS of people like you in the linen closet!"little daniel jones

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope!"Heath

Mom was wrong! You looked right at the clock and it didn't stop.Hartnett

If this living room and our kitchen aren't the product of our creator using clip art, I don't know what is!Colin

Hey, if she wants to watch, that's gonna be another twenty, up front.alanon

Those screams for help? Probably just some neighbor kids playing a prank. It's definitely not coming from the basement, so don't bother to look.alanon

I have to go to my room and talk to Satan now, but I'll be back to pee on the rug once the party gets rolling.JWJr

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