DFC #208

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"Why're you such a doormat? Why don't you make dad buy a tile floor? What about a damn microwave oven? Are you a slave to the stove? What kind of role-model are you trying to be? Don't you have any pride? Ya know, Gloria Steinem once said . . . ."phonsux

No no no. You don't just throw the buds into the brownie mix, you boil the THC out in butter, then add that.anon

Mommy! How can you ignore Jeffy when he wants to show you his new "Gay Power" tattoo on his left arm?Mr. Ben

Hurry! Daddy needs more sausage! He wanted to finish the "Josef Stalin-wurst" statue today!Mighty Owl

Don't get your hopes up, Jeffy. All she's doing is boiling P.J.'s old raggedy diapers.Stir Crazy

Having played Mortal Kombat one afternoon to many, the young Jeffy Chan prepared his devistating Spine Strike technique! Prof. Moriarity

Disney's "Family Circus on Ice" went broke in a week. Dad tried paying them back with free product placements, but that never generated enough money either.anon

Dinnertime again, and with it, the ritual. Once more, Jefft steeled himself to give Thel her nightly spit polish.Shifter

Mommy, th' floor looks wonderful! Did ya fellate Mr. Clean, again?Doc Evil

More malt and hops mom! And heavy on the saltpeter. Maybe I could get ONE good night's sleep.Green Machine

No, PJ, you start with the fist, and work your way up to the elbow!Schickelgruber

Consider yourself lucky. When *I* raided the cookie jar she put *BOTH* my hands in.Gen. Sedgwick

Though Dolly tried to warn her and Jeffy tried to get away, Thel was about learn why it wasn't smart to download C-4 recipes from the Internet.Delsyn

Mommy, I know we can't afford reg'lar spices, but Jeffy's ear wax makes the stew way too bitter!!Vice Pope Doug

Could you two get out of the way? We're bringing the Zamboni through.ferret

Awww, Mommy! What fun is watching you cook if "Soylent Green" jokes are in the Impossible Zone?The Outsider

Jeffy learned NOT to mamba while standing on a chair with frigid women who are holding boiling pots of water... no matter what your sister tells you...The only guy in America who likes "Murphy Brown"

Step one -- pushing Jeffy on the chair behind unsuspecting Thel -- was successful. Step two --- waiting for the water (two/thirds hydrogen) was working. Step three demanded Jeffy to release the chloride pellets which, when reacted to the hydrogen gas, would overcome Thel. The two children would then steal the station wagon and head to Caracas. But silly old Jeffy didn't bring chloride -- he brought the FLOURIDE toothpaste!Andrew Milner

Oh wow! Steamed air for lunch! Tazabby

Great. Jeffy, not only did you spend the entire day with Uncle Roy, decorating the basement, but now here you are, trying to learn to cook! Come on, it's time you went to a John Wayne film festival.Anastasia

Mom! I said to add the HCl slowly. You're lucky you didn't set it off.Rice Dream

Just how in God's name did you manage to burn water?Anastasia

Think of it this way Mommy, even if your food does suck, you've invented a great Jeffy repellant.Livin' In Deep 13

Cross your eyes and move your head back a little, and tell me if you don't start seeing the word "redrum" on her back.jedi mind trip

Ahem. I am not writing a caption involving Jeffy and what he's about to do to Thel's ass. Good for me.Preacher/Judge

"Okay Bil's pretty shitfaced at this point. Who gets to 'season' his veggies first?"Daddy's Li'l Angel

With awed fear, Jeffy viewed his mother's opening of the magical portal that would release Nizabook, The Popcorn Demon.Tazabby

"...and soylent mauve is made of people and crayons!"Heath

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