DFC #211

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine.Bill

Damn, These crabs are really starting to effect my social life.Noonan68

I am now in Sing-Sing...DainBread

Jesus, Billy. You'd better pray that Mr. Blackwell don't read the comics.Mighty Powell

You'd better be fuckin' brilliant out there, bro. My Dan Dierdorf impression bombed like you wouldn't believe, and Daddy's gettin' ornery.Mighty Owl

"I dunno, $1200 seems kinda steep, being used and all...Aww, fuck it. I'm desperate. I'll take the El Camino.."The Simian

You've been rooting through Gabe Kaplan's garbage cans again, haven't you?Mr. Ben

"Damn it, Billy, this is the last time I'll help you! If you're really serious about being a gigolo, you need to buy your own cock ring and quit borrowing mine!"Stewman

I don't know, Billy, I'm just kinda bummed out, I mean the DFC hasn't accepted any of my captions lately, I mean I'm in here every day bustin' my ass, gettin' called a melonhead.... By the way, you look like a real tool in that jacket.J. Keane

"I can almost hear it . . . a pimp shivering in his air-conditioned cadillac."phonsux

Tattoo killed himself in a jacket just like that one.Trevita

In spite of the fact that Jeffy always forgot his lines, the Keane Boys comedy act was a success, always ending the show with Jeffy repeatedly kicking Billy in the groin.anon

"You hocked all our furniture for that?"Heath (I shop at Rosenfelder's, too...)

"Someone won the 'Prisoner's Dilemma' jacket from the Mathematics Club, didn't they?"mathematicon, master of aleph-null

Just as his little brother opened his mouth Billy remembered, too late, how easy Jeffy got motion sickness.Prof. Moriarity

July 4, 1997 -- the Mars Pathfinder touches down on the red planet, and immediately gets an image of the inhabitants. Hideous, humanoid, melon-headed creatures. After this one image, the probe unexpectedly self-destructs. The final data transmission reads: No intelligent life forms.Ratman

"I call my hands the 'flippers,' and my belly button the 'bumper.'"Jinx

"Sorry Thel, but it looks like his electron gun is shot and I don't have the parts with me. I'll have to take him in to the shop."Second Person, Archaic

Sorry, Billy -- I got a solid Term Life policy already -- but Daddy's still pukin' from last night -- you could probably sell him a bunch while he's feelin' really mortal! Vice Pope Doug

When did Bil take over "Goofus and Gallant"?Thomas Wilde

I'm not even asking, so don't tell.ChoppingBlock

OK, I think you look enough like Herb from "WKRP in Cincinnati". The foreplay will begin as soon as I get my Loni Anderson wig.anon

"You know, one day they'll fuck-up and forget to lock my leg shackles. When that day comes, Billy-boy, I'm gonna peel off that coat, sit on your chest, and eat your fucking liver. It's just a matter of time..."e anon

All you need now is a pair of Bruno Magli shoes and you'll OWN the phrase "ugly-assed".the hunter

"Lemme guess: Mom was watchin' the Sound Of Music again, and the old sofa slipcover caught her eye?"Larry Hastings

Y'know, bitchin' for new threads seems about as appealing as castration now...Paul "Herb Tarlek" Reed

Very few people have ever seen this rare photo, depicting the first childhood meeting of Felix Unger and Oscar Madison.Livin' In Deep 13

Bummer, man. Bell-bottoms and an Italian restaruant tablecloth jacket. Whadja do, mug Uncle Roy for his threads?The Most Rev. HolyOley

Aww, you always get the good stuff. Daddy gives you his "crossword coat", and all I get are these welts from being brutally beaten about the head with a ball-pean hammer.Schickelgruber

Jeffy was mesmerized by Billy's jacket. Billy, by Jeffy's hypno-waves in his hair. A casual glance from each of them, but they didn't come to for six days.nonentity

As Jeffery stared into the jacket, Billy knew that soon it would be the family, then the town, then the WORLD!!!Grimmy

Like I give a shit that the Globe has hired you to trap Regis in a pedophile sex scandle.Ernest Edward Mitchell III

I don't care how Bil dresses you up, you still SUCK at golf.Skywise

I think that's pretty damn mean of you, asshole. Just when I'm peaking on a really bad trip.phonsux

Are you going to bother to tell all those little old ladies that they're actually buying the Satanic Bible?Anastasia

Killer 'shrooms, dude. I'm hallucinating you wearing one of the loudest sports jackets in history.Anastasia

"Look, when you get back in the courtroom just tell the judge you didn't know the gun was loaded."Noah Body Nose Da Trouble He's Seen

"Now don't be obvious about it, but check out the tits on the girl coming up in the next panel."Megan's Lawchild

"I'm flat-ass broke. I blew all my money on renting that Zamboni machine."So get a job..

"The good news is that I lost our family in a crap game. The bad news is we're stuck with your coat."Poppa Needs a New Pair of Shoes...

"Somebody got a new job at CompUSA, I see..."Paul T. Riddell

"I've always heard of clothes being referred to as 'visual emetics', but I'd never seen why until now."Paul T. Riddell

This Erkel fetish of yours has gone WAY too far.Hives

Yeah, I'm playing pocket pool, and why not? S'long as I hang around you and that jacket people certainly won't be staring at me!Hideo Spanner

Let me put it kindly, Billy... If you changed every word in the dictionary to "stupid," and read the whole thing out loud in Bullwinkle's voice, that'd come pretty close to describing you.Ravecavy

"When will you ever learn...your feeble Super Mind-Fuck Psycho-Jacket is no match for the awesome powers of my Hypno-Hair!"MutantDog

A young Herb Tarlek meets a young Johnny Fever in "WKRP: The Early Years,' coming to Fox.loni anderson

If THAT gets handed down, I'm turning transvestite now.anon

Gee, 33-across has me stumped too. Got a dictionary?Charlie Steinhice

"Nice jacket. I give you five minutes at the playground before you have the snot beat out of you."Wonko

"The jacket's okay, but the 'Daddy's Plaything' tie has got to go."Wonko

The photographer was quickly fired for his poor timing in "Jeffy Spits on Billy's Jacket".Wonko

Ever since he got his new jacket, Billy could not resist saying "This is the insurance plan for you.".Wonko

Great Moments in Literature: A chance meeting between a young Truman Capote and a young Charles Bukowski. Truman to Charles: "That's not writing, that's typing." Charles to Truman: "RETCH!!!" Camelio

That's not the worst of it. He dressed Dolly in a stretch polyester pants suit. Avocado. Big flowers, of course.Charlie Steinhice

"Nice jacket, Billy. Jesus, what did you do, skin the chess club?"Shifter

Damnit! I can never get these "magic eye" images!Riff

Oh fine, just because you're daddies favorite "little wiggler", YOU get all his hand-me-downs.Gromble

I really didn't want to buy a new car today Billy. I'm just looking around the lot.bobo

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