DFC #216

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"It's not fair! P.J. looks better in his evening gown than I do!"Jason D. Sinclair

I would help you change his diaper but there is not a single button on this outfit. Bil must have been using the injection mold equiment again.schmuck

"C'mon, Bil! Yet another panel with just me and PJ? Are you certain that the DFC is tired of incest jokes?"phonsux

Oswald Cobblepot, the Penguin, meets Selena Kyle, Catwoman, for the first time.-Outtake from Batman Returns: the Keane family screen tests.Marty Gray

Hey, who let R. Crumb draw Dolly?Mike

No stereoscopic vision, no response to visual cues.. your thesis advisor was right Mom. Raising a toddler in a house decorated with nothing but white paint does create a blind 2-year-old vegetable..Mister Sinister

Dolly suddenly realizes that Neanderthals aren't extinct, and that they leave their young in other hominids' nests, like cuckoos.Paul T. Riddell

"I couldn't find his juice bottle, so I put a nipple on the bottle of NyQuil. He looks fine to me."Sean Hart

Divine in "Pink Flamingos": before and after makeup and costuming (dog crap sold separately)Paul T. Riddell

I never wanted much from Bil...an occasional line or two, a decent background, some hair, a lower lip. But what could I do? I was barely a year old and couldn't talk. -- from It Stands For Percy Jermaine by P.J. Keaneanon

A young Timothy McVeigh, upset at the "Syndicate's" role in ending Bloom County, plotted his revenge. The tall girl above him a symbol of oppressioin, her turned head a representation of the faceless masters.Skywise

Hey everyone! There's some kid here asking if we've seen his purple crayon!anon

You know, Dad, maybe the reason you've never closed a deal for our action figures is because we never have any action... NO!! Wait! I didn't mean...Gen. Sedgwick

Mom - PJ's giving me that look again - when's the next eating scene scheduled?anon

This rare animation cel from "Jim Henson's Drew Carey Show Babies" sold for over $5,000.Jim Ellwanger

I know he's my little brother. I know I'm supposed to love him. But by golly, every time I look at his pasty smooth skin and rounded lines I feel an urge to sprinkle him with salt and watch him dissolve.Hideo Spanner

Two very rare and very rejected G.I. Joes: Dwarf Assassin; with winter camo, and Barracks Whore; with crabs the size of Maine lobsters.jedi mind trip

"But why can't I knock out his last tooth?"the hunter

...Hey Thel! Call over to the Yokum ranch and tell them one of their Shmoos got loose again!OM

Sheesh, PJ thought in disgust, those medieval bodices give every girl some cleavage, but of course, my sister manages to foil another feminine standard . . . I wonder if she doesn't have an extra X chromosome or something. . . .phonsux

These look good....I need 400,000 more PJ's made to be on the streets of Hong Kong by Monday.The Boy

"I asked for a legion of the biggest, toughest skinheads, and this is what you send me? Oh sure, we're really going to form a Fourth Reich with this. Fuck."--Jester

Before we begin, exactly how long has the PreTeen Nude Unisex Wrestling Federation of American been around?ChoppingBlock

A shocking scene from I Have No Mouth and I Must KeaneSteve R. Hastings

Mommy! PJ outgrew his feet again!Dr. Zam

The tender young synapses in PJ's brain started to spark with deductive thought ..."Billy's got a pipe, Dolly's got a horn ....OH SHIT! what's gonna grow out of my melon???"Big Dog

Although his blind date wasn't happy, PJ discovered the strange erotic thrill of being towered over by a woman.Bill Baki

Hey, Dad! PJ's tests came back negative, right?alanon

Poor PJ; he tries so hard. But a crew cut just isn't "hypno-hair," and it never will be.Joe Klein

Is dis da kid what you want me to pound, boss?Kukla

"O mighty Zondan, I have brought you the sacrificial virgin you requested... what's that? Well, of COURSE he's a virgin! How could he possibly... oh, you mean a virgin THAT way! Hmmm... I'll check."Toby

Now if you wanna get a job as an action figure model, you have to hold your arms like this: one hand for the accessory, one for the karate chop. And, of course, your head only moves from side to side.Bill

Hey, Mommy, I finally figured out what P.J. stands for! Premature 'Jaculation!Schickelgruber

PJ found the conversation with Dolly's ponytail much more stimulating.Bill

After listening to Dolly's latest epic "Ode to Nair," P.J. had proof Earth's poetry was the worst. If only the Vogons would come... DieBilDie

"Mom, PJ is the worstest dance date ever! Can't I just take Barfy again?"Wet Wookiee

Dolly stiffened as PJ blew into her ear and his noxious breath exited her mouth.El Chupacabras

PJ refuses to twist again, like we did last summer!Wet Wookiee

"I dunno, Mom -- either it's been a few weeks since you changed his diaper, or PJ here is pregnant!"nice personality

"Mom? How much do you think a kidney is worth on the black market? ...oh, nothing; I was just curious..."nice personality

"If you get any closer, PJ gets the boot over this cliff here."spaz

Damned if I know what to say, Bil. Why don't you draw me some motivation, you no-talent hack?!anon

Dolly's lockjaw reduced her to a system of communication comprised of awkward girations and the ever-frequent " P.J. throat-poke."Andrella

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