DFC #220

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Oh yeah, that reminds me... What day is my cat-scan supposed t' be?Doc Evil

Lets see.... Daddy kicked PJ's ass into next week so.... we should see him again around the 18th.Schmuck

At first Jeffy was startled but then he realized the ghost of Grandpa out the window was just giving him the number 1 sign. Jeffy always knew he was Grandpa's favorite. He had the sore ass to prove it.Schmuck

"CAL-UN-DUR?"Larry Hastings

"They said they were landing at Roswell on the last Saturday, which would be the 23rd. We've only got five days--pack your bags, we're going home!"Larry Hastings

Sorry, Jeffy, but it says the hypno-hair bit goes DZ in eight days. Enjoy it while you can.Gen. Sedgwick

This month'sDysfunctional Feline Carcass caption sez: " Got milk?"....that's it? I have to stare at this dumb-ass shit for a month?!? Trevita

Lincoln's birthday, Washington's birthday...how come we never celebrate Chester A. Arthur's birthday?Anastasia

"...and on February 2, Jesus rose from his grave, looked down at his shadow, and knew it was six more weeks until spring."Paul T. Riddell

"Watch this, Jeffy...anything I point to...and I mean ANYTHING...she will stare at for hours on end"Juan Valdez

Let's see .... Mom's off the rag on the 14th, Uncle Roy goes back to California on the 15th ... Hey, we might actually get some sleep this weekend!!!Big Dog

"...All I ask of you, the jury, is to attempt to comprehend the cruel and calculated steps that the children took to take their parents' lives. To understand that they memorized floor plans...that they manipulated their father's traveling schedule...that they sold their youngest sibling for the gun. Once you completely understand not only the brutality of their crime, but also the deeply twisted efficiency and planning they developed to go through with it, and the eventual conclusion that they are GUILTY. "- From a Court Transcript from BILLY, JEFFY, AND DOLLY VS. The State. Toothpick Vic

I unflinchingly stared at Billy, knowing that eventually he'd look my way. At that point, the "Hypno-Hair" would do the rest." --Jeffy, Not Too Keane on the Family Circusanon

...and if I pull this cord a second time, his head will be completely backwards.Helix

...okay, Bil's been working on that case of Gin for five days, so he's gonna need some mixers soon... Dolly, you go 'work some magic' on him and maybe he'll bring us some beef jerky.Bil's Drinkin' Buddy

And lo, the cat lies with the guinea pig! Repent, I tell you, for the rapture is at hand!Ravecavy

"Look at this: last panel, it was sunny and clear, and now it's snowing like hell. Who'd have thought we were living in Chicago?"Paul T. Riddell

Monday: Girls Girls Girls, Tuesday: The Jiggly Room: Wednesday: The Pink Pussycat now if we can find two more strip clubs Mom has not been banned from, we'll get her out the house every night this week!Joe Breeden

The bleak weather, the clastrophobic framing, the maudlin obsession with time and mortality - one of Ingmar Bergman's finest frames.Otis

Anyone got something funny to say about February? Snow? How about the number 29? Leap years? Pull my finger?Peon

"I know it sounds crazy, but I'm tellin' you - yesterday wuz Groundhog Day too!"Namgubed the Merry Elf

Well, no wonder he remembered our names at breakfast. Today's the day Hell freezes over.Heath

You have shown me the proper respect, Don Jeffy, but some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. Kissing my ring isn't enough.Joe Klein

Oh, great. Another Leap Day. You two are too young to remember, but last Leap Day Daddy got smashed on Schnapps and ran through the neighborhood naked. God, I hate Leap Day!Noodle Muffin

Let's see Bil's calendar... Welfare Wednesday: Go to liquor store, pick up a whore. Thursday: go to 3rd & Main to beg for spare change...Ratman

I got enough food for two more weeks. If this storm doesn't break soon we eat the bald one.sk8

"Jeffy was right! February 14, 2008 is on a Thursday! How the hell does he do that, when he can't even tie his fucking shoes!"Toby

See, February 29th is the only date Thel has agreed to go down on Bil.Doh!

According to my calculations, if the kid is mine you're six weeks pregnant, if it's Jeffy's your five weeks pregnantJoe Breeden

"...an' Mommy says if Daddy's real good and doesn't shiv his cellmate again, he'll come home in time for Val'n'tine's. 'Course that means Uncle Roy, Uncle Deon, Uncle Spike, and Uncle Mailman won't be teachin' Mommy how to wrassle anymore..."Podbeing

Does it seem to anyone else like its been February 1973 for the last 24 years?Livin' In Deep 13

It's my fault. I told Santa I wanted a calendar with some nice pussy shots. Gen. Sedgwick

...8, 9, 10. Ten more days 'til Mommy and Daddy come back from Cabo. I'm sure they'll bring some food then.alanon

As Billy spoke confidently on the fascinating topic of the inadequacies of the Julian calendar, Jeffy really looked at his older brother for the first time. "Damn.", he thought, "He looks good!Schickelgruber

Daddy just called from someplace called Fire Island. He was sort of giggling and said he'd be home February 30th. Strange, I can't seem to find...Kukla

"I want to know what sick pervert gave us a "Cat's Eating Their Own Shit," calendar.DieBilDie

The time-honored tradition of counting the days until a loved one returns from de-tox.Westur the Unspeakable

See, I told you there's no such thing as "Get buggered by your Uncle" Day!Westur the Unspeakable

This is the calendar with no year! It's what's kept us trapped in this ageless hell for the past 30 years!Westur the Unspeakable

Billy seemed fully recovered from the 'Checkered Jacket' incident, and Jeffy was still counting his blessings at having survived the 'Good on you Mate' Tee. But what would the future hold for Dolly?Westur the Unspeakable

Day 1017: It was a harsh, Siberian February as Barracks Leader Billy Bilyanovich checked his work group's schedule. "Damn," he said, "the DFC again. Why can't clean toilets or something, just once?"Phil

Hey! This isn't the "Babes-n-Semiautomatic Rifles '97" calendar I ordered!agm

"OK, let's see... 51... 51.. 51... Nope, no '51' in this month, PJ. That's another 50 bucks you owe me, but we'll try again in March, OK?"ferret

Stop whining. I know it was our Christmas present, but I'm the oldest so I get to turn the page every month!Rotter

..and today's the 15th so that means that Mom'll be on the rag in 3 days. Great....we'll be trapped here all weekend in this snowy hellhole with the P.M.S. Avenger again.bobo

While Jeffy kept Billy distracted explaining the leap year rules, Dolly moved in to lift his wallet.ewhac

Yeah, it's Kitty Kat all right . . . and unless I'm mistaken that's the end of Buffalo Pete's record-breaking john-thomas she's licking. Who would have known Bil would go through with his threat to sell her to the animal porn calender industry?Hideo Spanner

Oooh, slick move, Dolly! You get Dad to agree to stay sober for a month, and you choose the shortest one!Stefan Jones

It's been well over a month... I'm losing hope. We shouldn't have given Daddy that Jack London anthology.Mighty Owl

Okay, our contracts state that we are guaranteed a salary increase every February 30, which is next... Son of a Bitch!a.holter

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