DFC #241

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

I still say it defeats the purpose, even though you're wearing nothing but that 'Bake Naked' apron.Namgubed the Merry Elf

Fur for clothing, bones for shelter, hooves for paperweights, organ meats and bodily fluids for pie filling, knives made of antlers... You really know how to use the whole deer.Mighty Owl

When I grow up, mommy, I hope I can defrost Mrs Smith pies as good as you do.the monster under the bed

"So, yer best butterknife can't even pierce the pie's granite-like shell. Oh, yeah, I see you on the cover of Gourmet any day now."Shifter

Kidney pie, eh? Did you use the virgin kidneys or the ones you stole from Keith Richards?-Mr. Ben ("It's only kidney pie, but I like it!")

So what exactly is in bilsdik pie anyway?keldog

"So you're saying you put the swastika design in before you put it in the oven!"Reed Spacer

So what's really IN Shattered Dreams Pie?Jenn Dolari

...defrost, bake, THEN eat it! You've really got to do something about your dyslexia.R.J.M.

Let's see ... we put in soylent green, Barfy's intestines, Jeffy's hypno-hair, and a heaping frenzy of dik play. What else goes into a difficult zone pie, Mom?Riff

I suppose you're going to insert that hard cold knife into that hot moist cherry pie and gently open a slit than will gush sweet red juices? Yep, no sexual symbolism here. Nothing they can make lesbie jokes about. Someone shoot me.Da Spitlet

That would be 3 o'clock...this Amish learning is REALLY starting to pisseth me off.R.J.M.

OK, now cross the red wire with the blue, and..dammit, be careful with that incision! North Korean landmines are VERY unstable!Skywise

I'll have a piece without so much rat in it...R.J.M.

"Apple pie? You mean I pulled the heads off all those blackbirds for nothing?"-Jester

"Sigh...two panels down Spider Man is fighting the Scorpion...Sherman's Lagoon next door, they've got all the sharks eating people on the beach...Little Orphan Annie's just uncovered the identity of the spy near the bottom of the page. Even the friggin' Jump Start guys are playing basketball. But here we are in the thrill-a-minute Family Circus, cutting a pie...Be still my beating heart."-Jester

Thanks for the lesson in being a good little housewife. It was thrilling, but I still have my heart set on becoming a profesional wrestler.Noodle Muffin

Sure, the pie has a delicious flaky crust, but can it hold the five kilos?nonentity

You hold a knife like a girl.Schmuck

Ya know, that pie is a metaphor for my virginal innocence...the dull knife is Bil ... first it's a little slit here, a little slit there, and soon it will be gashed all the way to the crust ... filling spilled everywhere ... NEVER AGAIN THE SAME .... unh...... sorry 'bout that ...... can I hold the knife? Amatuer

"I think we should put some more almonds in the crust. If Daddy tastes almonds but doesn't see them, I think he'll get suspicious."-Jester

Something tells me those 24 blackbirds ain't gonna sing.Namgubed the Merry Elf

Two problems: first, you're supposed to bake marijuana into brownies, not fruit pies. Second, you're supposed to bake it into the food. That might explain why you can't seem to work a knife.phil

That wasn't flour, and Paco's coming by tomorrow for the shipment. I'm sure glad you've made your peace with God.phil

... got that? So, if there's 50 "where's Barfy" captions, I get 50% of the pie. Deal?Namgubed the Merry Elf

I dunno fer sure mom, but I'm pretty sure that spam is not a normal ingredient for a pot luck pie.anon

That reminds me - I need a needle and some thread so I can finish playing doctor with PJ.The Lawyer

Thanks for makin' this for my class, but if Miss McElfresh does that lame 'Thanks for the 3.14!' joke again, I'm gonna have to shove it up her ass.Mighty Owl

I'm just not sure that a death-by-chocolate pie is an appropriate thing to bring to a wake.Westur the Unspeakable

"Well, every time Daddy cuts the pie, he makes a giant slice and calls it 'The Goddamn Frigging Syndicate', and takes a thin sliver for himself. He's not too bitter, is he?"tv's Spatch

Well, if Rommel is at base camp there, I'd recommend a classic "pincer" movement to trap him against the mountains.Bill

I certainly hope you can be more precise with dessert than you were with my eyelid surgery. Kids call me Dolly-Moto.7 Years in Babette

All that work to get a subtle alcohol product placement, and Bil draws it like he knows it, in a PAPER BAG!who said that?

"I swear, these plastic cartoon knives don't cut worth a shit!"Lee Harvey

I 'preciate the pie as the example, but I think I've got it -- a lateral incision across Jeffy's tummy, cut off the 'pendix, and sew him up really fast. Yuck. I sure wish Daddy got medical benefits!Vice Pope Doug

The shadow hasn't reached noon yet, and you twitched! What was that? "You mean, 'I'm sorry, Dominant Mistress.'"garden weasel

"When Bil draws you clipping coupons, you're left handed. Now that you're slicing pie, you're right handed. You'd think after thirty years and four kids, he'd have noticed."Heath

"I wish you had waited till Sunday to bake a pie. The panel's bigger then."Heath

*sigh* "'If you don't finish your broccoli, you won't get any pie!' And what's in the pie? Leftover broccoli! You suck, Mom."Heath

You know, I'm really gonna miss P.J. ... Don't get me wrong; I'm still gonna have a big hunk of P.J. Pot Pie, but I do feel a tinge of sadness.Noodle Muffin

...Can you fit "this is for not raising my allowance, you tightwad asshole!" in red icing? I want Bil to know just why I'm throwing this pie in his ugly face!OM

I'm not hungry. This all reminds me of my female circumcision.Dain Bread

That pie's a lot like my girlish childhood dreams, Mom. Try to think about that as you cut it to shreds!Coalcracker

No mom, stop! P.J.'s ailmentary canal would be about a half-inch lower! Good thing we're practicing on this pie, or we could have lost two perfectly marketable kidneys!Coalcracker


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