DFC #244

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"Yeah, Farrah Fawcett made a pile of money this way, but she was naked!"Boner Cunningham

Great. So whadda we do when the anti-gravity tonic wears off?Namgubed the Merry Elf

Pour me another shot before I hit the mosh pit again. Man, I am pumped!Namgubed the Merry Elf

Jeffy, of all your fetishes, this "brain trading and body paint" is by far the weirdest one. You're sick.Mighty Owl ask about my easy payment plan

I'm having second thoughts about this "Human Map of Guam" thing...couldn't we petition Guinness for "Most fingers pulled"?Itchy Bitchy Fresh and Stitchy

ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! I don't want to play Freshman Engineer any more!Dan Jones

It's not working, Dolly. Bil's moving the circle away from us already. Try something funnier.Daniel Jones

...Look, if we're going to avoid that Affirmative Action lawsuit, then covering me with India ink is the only option left to us. Besides, I'm the only one with anything resembling an afro!OM

Okay, so, now I know which orangoutangs at the zoo pitch their shit at passers-by and which of 'em don't. Bialystock

"Look, I told you to to put these handcuffs on me so I wouldn't drink. But what the hell are you doing waving the bottle in front of me for? You are one sadistic bitch, you know that?"-Jester

In vain, Dolly Connor took out another Molotov cocktail, but the Jeffy-800 kept coming, already without both of his arms.Wyvern

Once he was liquored up, Jeffy would do almost anything for another shot of vodka. Once, I made him roll in his own excrement and then shout the lyrics to "I'm just a girl". -- Life in the Circle: The Dolly Keane BiographyWestur the Unspeakable

"Jeffy gets his" - First in a series of Family Circus commemerative plates. Available now from the Franklin Mint!Westur the Unspeakable

Okay -- you're a zit -- I get it already!Namgubed the Merry Elf

Ok, that's enough molasses. Now where's that wasps' nest? I'll get out of this hellish existence one way or another!Tazabby

Okay, I'm convinced! There really are marketed bottles of "whoop-ass!"Mr. Ben

That's the last time I go down on you when you're on the rag...Ol' dirty bastard

"So, Dolly, you thought a decanter-full of arsenic and a shiv to the heart was enough to get rid of me, eh? I'm back, Dolly, back from the grave, and I want my strip back!"The Crypt Shifter

Why didn't you tell me that its bear pheremones in that cologne?Anastasia

Well, you got "Good on you mate" off of my shirt, but you still made a bloody mess with that paint!Mr. Ben

Hi, I'm your JeffyGenie, I'm hungover as fuck and I haven't gotten laid in six hundred years! What the hell is your damn wish?!Mr. Ben

"More ink, more ink! I need more Ink on me than anyone else in the strip!" he said...his sadistic stardom trip was beginning to show it's nasty side.Jenn Dolari

Yeah, well, YOU just try staying clean in scatology class, bigshot!Dr. Zam

Once again, Dolly's plans of mating a melon-headed boy with a Dalmation had been foiled by that damned Pongo.wombat

"So you're the one who slipped Bil the laxative! And on "Father and Son" Night!"wombat

Okay, okay! "Dolly is great, Dolly is good, your body is hot and gives me wood". Now, give me the fucking pain medicine!!!Vice Pope Doug

No, Barfy definitely does not want his medinceliving a lie

"I don't care if they did it in World War II! The 'make ourselves unattractive' ploy didn't work the last time Uncle Roy came to visit, and it's not gonna work now!"anon

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