DFC #245

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"Now, you see, Bil could have one of those, being a firmly entrenched member of the cartoon industry and an internationally syndicated artist. But there are two little words standing in the way of that, Jeffy: heroin problem."Thomas Wilde

It's pretty simple. All we have to do is to slip on these red jackets, stand in front of the hotel and those dumb fucks just give us their keys. Is this country great or what?bobo

All you have to do is be able to rhyme "bitches" and "money," and you get one of those!Bill

Finally. A car that almost accomodates Mommy's legs.Trevita

I triple-dog dare you to ask Joe Pesci if he's got any Grey Poupon.Namgubed the Duckfooted Elf

Catch you later, Jeffy--PJ and I are off to party with Senator Kennedy in DC. Once you've carried that "Washington" pennant, things just start going your way.marty gray

"It's best you just forget about Billy now, Jeffy. An' remember one thing: never go against the family!"Generik

Not that one. Rule number eleven: *Never* trust a John with diplomatic plates.Gen. Sedgwick

Sure...you laughed at me when I was dressed like a tramp...but who's laughing now walking boy?R.J.M.

Now if you'll excuse me, Woody Allen awaits.R.J.M.

Okay, get your squeegee ready and get to work!Kevy

"Take a good, long look, Jeffy. Bill Watterson rides in one of those with Calvin & Hobbes. Jim Davis counts the cash in the back with Garfield and Odie. Garry Trudeau gets high with Zonker Harris in one of these. But this is as close as you, me, and Daddy the "Cartoonist" are ever going to get to one."-Jester

"Big Mack Cletus. Head pimp in the Bumsteads' neighborhood. Also smuggles Soylent Green in from the Difficult Zone."Dave Matthews

Pull my pincer.Marlboro

That's what we call, in the trade, the "Penile Inadequacy Car." Better get your order in now, Bro.anon

"It's easy. You don't say much, laugh at his jokes, and when you wake up, we'll be $150 richer, and you get to keep the sailor suit."tv's Spatch

"Yeah, I'm the Donald's personal little love toy... Hey, it beats wankin' Uncle Roy for quarters all to hell!"Reed Spacer

"...and there is Christian Slater's car...and Robert Downey Juniors...Betty Ford must be one popular lady!"juan valdez

Geez! Bil sure let that one piece of fan mail go to his head, didn't he?Coalcracker

Despite months of planning and shmoozing Syndicate executives, the Little Orphan Dolly spinoff strip was cancelled after just three days. The lawsuit over who was going to pay to re-upholster Daddy Warbuck's borrowed limosine, however, streched on for nearly two years.Westur the Unspeakable

Don't bother tying to thumb a ride. It's obviously clip-art.Westur the Unspeakable.

It just seems like everytime there's some big crime going on, Bruce Wayne's empty limo is parked nearby.Westur the Unspeakable

Knowing Jeffy to be flush with cash from his latest Colombian import activities, Dolly tried in vain to appeal to the legendary, massive ego. No luck though -- the capital had already been used to start JeffCo ("All Jeffy, All the Time") Media -- the company that would "ult'mately bring down Cowles an' Howard Stern".Vice Pope Doug

Hey - treat him right and maybe Mr. Sinatra will buy you a Lincoln.Riff

..and there you can see Gary Larson's car. *Sigh* GOD I hate our Gremlin..anon

Then as he was putting on his pants, I said, "Ya know, Mr. Trump... There are laws against pedophilia in this state..." Before I had a chance to finish, he handed me the keys! That's class!Orion the Hunter

Allright! Here comes Micheal Jackson! Show some leg, Jeffy, show some leg, dammit!!!!!Timmy's Flat Rotting Colon

So you see? Vigorish is basically the interest Daddy owes to the Bookie. Now broken kneecaps is what they're giving Daddy in the back of that big car 'cause he didn't pay the Vigorish. Kapish? Radio Show

"I told the photographers that Di wasn't wearing any underwear; let's watch the show."Moorlock

Yeah, its about *this* big, but after all, he is the President...Wally

Not only that, but I can tell you from personal experience that the back seats are big enough for three people, a shetland pony and a Twister board.Hideo Spanner

Who would have thought that he'd make his fortune as the Notorious P.J.?freak

Jeffy, Agent 069, stood helpless, mere feet away from the Prime Minister's car. He wanted to warn her of the bomb set to go off, but Dolly Goodhead held him at bay with her sinister finger-pistol.Tangent

"So as soon as Newt's through with Billy, it's your turn. Then it's off to Jack Daniel's-land for all of us!"Generik

"...So Billy buys 20 kilos, we step on it, then we've got 40 keys to move... hell, we can get rid of most of that in Dilbert an' Zippy alone!"Reed Spacer

"Listen, Donald is still getting over his break up with Marla. You're just a rebound. Don't you get it? You're nothing but his sex toy!"Dr No

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