DFC #268

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Now if we can get barfy to shit on the floor, we'll have violated all twelve county health code requirements.anon

Her delirium tremens subsiding, Thel contemplated the hell that her life had become since she married Bil. "Someday I will get even, somehow...", she pondered wistfully, as she slid another weenie into the scalding hot water...Mutantdog

The Keanes, every one of them stoned as hell, didn't even notice when Hagar the Horrible ran by stark naked.Magus

Look Mommy! The steam rising from the pot is shaped like your ass was before our heads destroyed your birth canal!Trevita

"...Then, as Dolly was going on about why we were so late, the acid finally kicked in... and kicked in hard. I hadn't thought about poor Orville Yeahol in years, but there he was, the knife embedded in his skull as if I'd just done it yesterday, the dumb bastard always was the only one who could figure out how to pass into the other place. That was when I decided that it was time to go sober." -- Confessions; a Jeffy Keane StoryKwang the Almighty

The near-famous "kitchen scene" from the released straight to video Keanespotting I'd hate to ruin the ending of it for you, but let's just say it involves Dolly, Jeffy, brautwurst, heroin, and every oriface imaginable...xian, the boy with the monkey heart

"OK," thought Thel, "maybe there is such a thing as too much valium."Gruber

It's amazing how a flower pot can brighten up the whole kitchen.Gruber

Phallic symbols for supper AGAIN???Gen. Sedgwick

Really, Mom, I don't think anything can kill the taste of grits.Mr. Ben

O yeah -- Daddy called last week wanting bail money.sammy mazola jr

As Dolly lobbied in vain for a clean house, a change of clothes and a meal that didn't come from the 7-11 dumpster, Jeffy quietly leaned back and let his mind split apart. "Jeez, even my hallucinations are funny lookin," thought Jeffy.Dr. Schmuck

And when you get done there I want a martini, shaken and not stirred.Bond, James Bond

Animal (the melonheaded freaks & the dog with the empty dish), Vegetable (the plant) and Mineral (the filthy, rusting cookware). Thel neglects it all.Dr. Schmuck

You can tell Bil's been mixing vodka and Drano when he makes ghosts with names like "Yeams".Jamey "Quacky" Powell

O Yeah: Appeared with great frequency between 12/74 and 2/75 until severe public outcry forced this Excuse Ghost off the strip, rivaled in rank unpopularity only by I Learned It By Watching You and You Only Got Hit Because You Called Me A Drunkard, both of whom lasted less than two weeks each - The Annotated History of the Family Circustv's Spatch

"O yeah, Bil called and said to make sure you're shaved for tonight. He's bringin' home some big shot from Cowles."TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!

I could explain everything if I had the proper ghost.Brad Popsiclestick

Apparently, ABC felt that "Thel" and the Keanes' brand of white trash was too earthy for prime time, and dumped it for the feel-good salt-of-the-earth platitudes of the Connor family of Lanford, Illinois.ColBleep

"The blackjack table is low on green chips, table five is waiting for their chablis and have you seen an old translucent fuck who's into the baccarat table for forty large?"helen keller, just projecting the Keane Kasino

What they DON'T show you on the commercials is that after the Kool-Aid Man busts through your wall, the whole HOUSE goes to shit. `Oh Yeah,' indeed.nopants

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