DFC #270

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Sir, would you like an after dinner mint? It's wafer thin!Namgubed the Merry Elf

"After the kid's older brother tried fifteen times to get into the shot, I gave up on intercutting to show the regression and decided to stick with the old man for the soup eating scene." -- Stanley Kubrick, The Making of 2001: A Space OdysseyGen. Sedgwick

"Let me know if that 'Chia Beard' really works..."Stiles

Objection, your Honor -- counsel is feeding the witness.Namgubed the Merry Elf

Man, with Charles Laughton dead, where will we...You!! You'd make a perfect Henry VIII!phil

"My God! PJ's channeled Orson Welles!"Randall

"Hah!" thought PJ -- if anyone can out-cute this megalomaniacal little fuck, I can!!Vice Pope Doug

Food on you, mate!coptician

...and in this print, one can see the precursor to the famous "melted clocks" in the form of a "melting baby"..... Warped Impressions: The Early Work of Salvador DaliWar Gerbil

" Soylent Oatmeal " is made from Wilfred Brimley!!!Doc Evil

I told you not to mock his drawing skill. But no, you thought a toddler was immune from retribution.Peon

Don PJ, my wife, she is having an affair...can you help me?Das Fed

Among some miserable failures in Saturday morning cartoons was Jim Henson's GOP Babies . Shown here is a scene from this series, where a young Dan Quayle unsuccessfully tries to spell what a young Rush Limbaugh is eating.alanon

PJ, wait, that's the spoonful of gruel with the kids from the Honey, We Were Released Straight to Video movies!! xian, the boy with the monkey heart

Sorry about that, bro. Can I have my golf ball back?Mr. Ben

"...so that is why I don't eat animals." Meanwhile, PJ chewed serenely on Thel's rare steak stew. tundra

"I realize $500 is a lot of cash. But, come on, the Cowboys own Monday nights." tundra

Okay, two words. First word sounds like 'shit on your face.'The 13th Floor

In the first of the upcoming Star Wars prequels, we see young Obi-Wan being mercilessly dragged from the presence of a young Jabba the Hutt.Bionic Duck

After having his legs gnawed off by rats, P.J. sits in some sits in some kind of poorly-defined extradimensional space and eats owl shit out of an ashtray. If that's not funny, I don't know what is.Jizmo the Wonder Horse

Scene from Bil Keane's libelous anti-Kellogg's animated series, Corn Flakes Will Rot Your Face Off.Jizmo the Wonder Horse

"If you weren't so ugly, Mom wouldn't have to feed you with a slingshot." -Jester

Being under contract with Bil was like being under contract with the Devil. We tried hundreds of ways to get ourselves fired, but even when PJ stopped shaving for a month, Bil found a way to keep him in the strip. - from The Endless Circle By Jeffrey KeaneRiff

You want a tooth? You can't handle a tooth!Riff

This week on Trek Babies: Lil' Picard engages Lil' Q in a battle of wits...and oatmeal.Paul "Spock Amok" Reed

You look pretty content for a dude that's gonna be munchin' his own nuts for dessert, little brother! You owe me thirty five large, and I expect a wire into my Swiss account today. I love you, little man -- but it ain't my problem you went and got a major Chutes and Ladders habit!Vice Pope Doug

...and Dad makes 47...Wait!! I think you broke Rod Stewart's record!!Arby

It's no wonder they stuck you in a box, PJ.. You've been puking Jell-O shooters all day!Beeker

Thel and Bil punished Jeffy for breaking a vase by forcing him to go without food for 5 days in a row. Jeffy was weak...barely able to pull himself up onto two feet. He begged PJ for even a morsel of gruel. PJ, with his usual flair for cruelty, mocked Jeffy by spilling the food all over himself and on the table just out of Jeffy's reach. -- PJ: Portrait of a Developing Sociopath by Billy Keane.The Unmasked Revenger

Jeffy wasn't sure if he was shrinking or if PJ was growing. Either way, he figured, he was fucked.The Unmasked Revenger

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