DFC #275

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"Mom! Tell P.J. to eat his own goddamn boogers!"Dave Matthews

Why's he cryin'? Maybe it's because you asswipes haven't changed his diaper since the Ford administration fer chrissakes!Doc Evil

When Jeffy saw the 60 Minutes crew come around the corner, he knew he'd been set up.alanon

He wants the cookie AND the rights to my phrase "Good on you mate!" Nothin' personal, but I gotta draw the line somewhere!Mr. Ben (Mad about Rebecca!)

Hey, is it my fault the little shit can't deal with life's harsh realities?Riff


Although PJ poured his heart into an over-the-top audition, it was Jeffy's coy, non-chalant stance that won him a coveted spot in the Vienna Boy's choir.Tracy

I scraped the oatmeal off his face, molded it into a cookie, an' now he wants it back!Namgubed the Merry Elf

"Where am I supposed to kick PJ again to get him to stop crying?" how cruel

"No, mommy, I don't know why he's crying. But if he should suddenly learn to talk and tell you I kneed him in the balls, punched him in the stomach, and cross-checked him in the throat, he'll be totally lying"xian, the most desperate Tampa Bay Lightning fan on the net

It's not as if Tubboguts here needs yet another cookie.Werehamster

Hey! No fucking way you're pinning this on me, his feet were on backward when I got here!anon

Jeffy Keane, you put your brother's suppository back this instant!!!Tangent

Shut up ya little pansy, ya didn't see Holyfield piss and moan when he got HIS ear bit off!Hannibal Cannibal

Mom, I'll share anything else, but don't ask me to let him drool all over Mike Tyson's mouthpiece! I paid 25 grand for this thing!garden weasel

...quit your cryin or i'll kick you again you scene stealin little shit.....oh hi dad....nothin....just talkin to P.J. about pasghetti!Waldo

Awww, but mom, his Rigoletto sucks! He deserves a beating!Dan Jones

Hey, does a baby even really need a pineal gland? I mean, what for?Space Mutant

Suddenly it hit PJ, he to would inherit the family 'beer gut'.Tyrant

Mom! The whatchamacallit is making that noise thing again!L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg

I think he's about to crack Billy! Another dose of Tobasco, and he'll tell us what he did with our stash!Rick Landis

Jeffy thought that Mom or Dad would come rushing to PJ defense. He was somewhat surprised when Azoroth, Demon Lord of the Ninth Hell, came charging around the corner.-Jester

Jeez, it's just Barfy splattered on the road...no big deal...the vultures'll eat well tonight, though....Jenn Dolari

While everyone was delighted that P.J. had finally spoken his first words, "Give me back my Zweibeck, Cock-gobbler!" was eventually deemed unfit for the baby book.Jizmo the Wonder Horse

No way! These suckers are potent! One little bite, an' he'll be gigglin' and trippin' and freakin' straight into next week!Vice Pope Doug

Oh my God, Jeffy thought. The Cookie Monster had managed to escape from...'The Street'.VitaminTom

Every time he and Jeffy sang "Mr. Bojangles"...he cried.R.J.M.

"You see? Once again the volatility of the middle class manifests itself in a bourgeois ouburst of emotion. As I eat the cookie of enlightened materialism, P.J's diapers are soiled with the -- aw hell, let's just go with a blowjob caption."Jizmo the Wonder Horse

AND CUT! Okay, three things. First, get that brat to stop crying. Second, get the white beard and wig back on. And third, GET RID OF THE DAMN COOKIE! -- Outtake from the film version of Michaelangelo's The Creation of ManCoalcracker

PJ can eat his own scabs!Miss SAJ

Yeah, he wanned some cookie, I tol' 'im to fuck off, he started actin' like a baby, so I fuckin' smacked 'im, you gotta problem wid dat? -- DAVID MAMET'S "FAMILY CIRCUS" (with John Malkovich as PJ, and Gary Sinise as Jeffy) Large Neck

I'm just chewing it for him: he's got no freaking teeth yet !! Sue

What's with the shmoo?anon

"Wow! The generic pepper spray is just as good as the name brand stuff!"Bil's Drinkin' Buddy

"Mommy, I know you hate it when PJ fills his diaper - but it's been four days and I think he's hungry."Sloan Garrett

When he didn't pay back the loan to Don Billy, he should have known something like this would happen.Anastasia

I ain't pullin' it until he learns to say it. It's the Keane way.Gen. Sedgwick

Of course I didn't hit him! I only pick on smaller kids, and PJ's got at least three inches on me in this panel.phil

Nice try. My official food taster says, "don't eat the cookie!"Namgubed the Merry Elf

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