DFC #277

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

I'm sorry, Mommy. I tried to cook Billy in the microwave, but I forgot to pierce his skin with a fork first.Mycroft

"So now when I tell you the septic tank is full, will you frickin' believe me?!"Tillman

uh, Spinn... dunno if I can be discrete about this, but, got any more pix like this? If you know what I mean, and I think you do.Michael Jackson

Whaddya think, mom? When you an' dad were laying in each other's arms in the warm, sticky afterglow of you first young, gentle lovemaking, if you'd pictured THIS scene, you think you would have cut off dad's winkie with the garden shears?Dave

Get used to it. It's called life, you repressed anal WASP prig.I AM DAMO SUZUKI.

Those nutsacks from the " Gain Show-&-Smell Challenge " are at th' door! Let's give 'em something for their history books!!Doc Evil

"Thel, I'm your fairy godmother. And I'm here to tell you that unlike Cinderella, this is all your fault, so fuck you."Larry Hastings

"Shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level!"Larry Hastings

Would someone explain to me where exactly the demarcation line is between child pornography and this panel?Thomas Wilde

Actually, Bil Keane once hired H. P. Lovecraft to draw the strip for him. Note the utter chaos, standing at the very center of it a mindless, blind god, and down below semi-human ghouls feast upon corpses and grime.Magus

Man, that was great! But I'm sure glad that the fleet's only in once every six months. I'm going to be walking bow-legged for a week!Bubba

"Hey, Momm- (This caption could not be completed, as it's creator has run off to call the child abuse hotline.)Magus

This pane brings new meaning to Lee Dorsey's song "Workin' in a Coal Mine, Goin' Down Down Down!K-man

MAN O' MAN, what a night! We should summon the ghost of John Belushi a lot more often!Mr. Ben

I think we may have saved our NEA grant for performance art, even Senator Helms had a good time!Johnboy

Jeez, do you think Bil could have completed the transformation from heartwarming cartoon family to soft-core porn panel any less subtly?Ultra-Girl

Wow, Mommy! All it took was one shiner and a pair of Daisy Dukes... and now you're Miss White Trash America!jellybean

Please sir.... I'd like some moreRiff-Raff

"I'm pregnant."Randall

Today's guest artist: Sergio Argones!Riff

This panel contains one toddler wearing only her panties and a baby lying face down, stark naked, in a pile of garbage. Yup, this meets the definition of child pornography.nonentity

A new weekly theme for the DFC: Optional Hygeine Fridays.Coalcracker

That was fun! So when are the Calvin Klein people coming back to take more pichers?Limehouse

Sorry 'bout the mess, but it was a long fight. Still though, I got Jeffy to take off that God damn "Good On You Mate" shirt. Here, wanna burn it?Psycho Smurf

As designated referee of the '98 ASS OLYMPICS, I need to ask you to not to disturb the shotput oven.Trevita

I'd say the first testing of the "Redneck Bomb" was a success, wouldn't you?L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg

Jeez, what a party! By the way, when did you get back?Partyin' HolyOley

Wow! What a vacation! I haven't gobbled that much cock since Billy took me to his Boy Scout meeting!xian, the boy with the monkey heart

Whooo-oo-ooaa! PJ gets a butt shot an' the dogs are lookin' ornery! I'd get a hose if I were you!Dan Jones

Happy April Fools Mommy! I replaced your birth control pills with TicTac's last month!anon

And you wonder why we have Child Protective Services set up for speed-dial.Gen. Sedgwick

Wow! What a great weekend! Can we have the Kennedys over again next week, Pleeeease?Riff

FECAL FIGHT!!!!!Trevita

PJ naked and Dolly in drawers, check. Thel's a dyke, check. Putting clothes in the oven, check. Grandma being pushed from a moving vehicle, check. Well Bil, I think "Sweeps Week" is in the bag.ColBleep

"So how many people did you sleep with to get into Mensa, anyway?"jedi mind trip

It's Tarantino-Day at the Keane household! Colin

I won Mommie!! I got more of my body inside Barfy's butt than anybody!!Scott and his cat

We just got back from the coal mine. By the way, what's "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?"ewhac

"Shit Thel, might as well burn those shorts. We're never gonna get a full load of darks around here."Helix

It was sorta like "Fantastic Voyage", but we returned to normal size somewhere in Jeffy's colon.Noah Vail

"Wow! That was the best murder spree ever!"Rich Lather

It wasn't a total failure. At least the bears ate Grandma.Anastasia

If Family Circus and Fellini CombinedDamo Suzuki

This shot baffles me. Why are Dolly and Peej naked? Why is the cat on the roof of the minivan? What is Billy doing to Bil? What the hell is that on Jeffy's head? And why does Thel look like she was gang-raped by chipmonks? How can four little kids generate that large a pile of dirty laundry?anon

'Scuse me, Miss? Can I get some coffee over here?xian, the boy with the monkey heart

"I never knew lesbian love could get so messy!"Pinky

Nothing says, "Spam Sucking Trailer Trash" quite like a good ol' fashioned camp-out!Namgubed the Merry Elf

Grandma's really rubbing your face in this illegitimacy thing, huh? As if kicking us out of Bil's house weren't bad enough, she's tossing out all of the dorky crayon drawings she had stuck on her fridge.anon

"One episode of ill-timed explosive incontinence and the trip's off, is that it?"Larry Hastings

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