DFC #283

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"I still think it's a sick way to dispose of PJ's body parts."anon

I'm armed with real M16A2 rifle and I have orders from General Roy of HQ: Your primary objective is to eradicate with extreme prejudice, that bible-based haunted house on Oak St. Col. Bil Keane will film this mission for archival purpose. Gary T. Burnaska

You can tell this strip is going down the tubes if they're relying on guest appearances. If Wolverine or the Punisher makes an appearance, we'd better start looking in the want-ads.alanon

He wants a bad drawing of Bart Simpson on video tape. Now that's scary!!Namgubed the Merry Elf

DAAAAD! For God's sake, I know Dolly wants her costume to be authentic and all, but can't you make her leave Grandma's petrified head at home?Ultra-Girl

... Behind the scenes at Bilco Adult Productions'"Dirty Tricks and Naughty Treats", starring Billy Horner, Jeffy Steel, and Thelma Jugs.porn monkey

We'll see who gets the most candy when they find out this soldier carries live ammo!!Riff

Dad, somehow I think your Spike Lee costume leaves something to be desired.Namgubed the Merry Elf--

Boo on you, mate!Doc Evil

Stand at attention, sodlier! Salute the general! No, a little lower...Nethicus

Pssst...Bil! Ix-nay the Art-bay Impson-say! If you let people know that it's the nineties, they might start posting your cartoons up on the internet and writing their own captions for them!The Rabid Rabbi

"Geez, Bil! Will you just accept us as we are?! I want to be the swishy witch and Dolly wants to be the butch foot soldier! Quit forcing roles on us, dammit!"Tillman

"Dad, I know you like 'tricks', but seeing how I'm your son and all, can I have one without a razor blade?"The Rabid Rabbi

"Trick or treat, Dad...uh...Dad? Oh, dammit, the neighbours are having sex with the the blinds up again. We might as well just move on to the next house."The Rabid Rabbi

"Hey, Dad! Vandals came and painted out house gray! Damn teenagers!"The Rabid Rabbi

By God, you called it -- he DID take the lenscap off! Guess I owe you $20.Gen. Sedgwick

You know I do believe this is a monumental occasion, it's the first time I've ever seen Bil using a video camera and not be completely nakedDon't Worry About It

"Now don't forget your lines this time: it's 'Gimme that hot bazooka of love', not 'Am I going to have to do this all by myself?' Bil, how about a quick fluff before this take?"Stealth

"Wow. I didn't know Bart Simpson could be poorly drawn."Shifter

Jeffy, you ass! Your bag is supposed to say "Trick or Treat", not "Good On You Mate."nonentity

"Oh, nooo. Trust me boys, keep walkin', even a full size candy bar ain't worth what he wants you do to."Dr. Schmuck

Wait 'till you see Dolly. She's dressed up like a positive home pregnancy test.Bubba

Bart Simpson finds out what "dysfunctional" really means.anon

No sir, Mr. Keane sir. We would not like to see your basement. Sir.Anastasia

"Your motivation? You're a cum-guzzling nympho looking for anal action. Look, can't we just do this?"Larry Hastings

"Great. He's gonna use us as cover so he can stalk that coffee shop chick again."Larry Hastings

"Trick or Treat, Trick or Treat. Christ, doesn't anyone FUCK anymore?!"Lord Zombie

Thing the Halloween bit will fool the federal 'thorities long enough for us to get "Butt Babies of the Salem, Mass. Platoon" into asian distribution?Vice Pope Doug

Uh oh. Halloween night. Glassy 'spression. Video camera. This can only mean one thing -- we'll hafta go shopping for all new pets tomorrow.Vice Pope Doug

Hey, don't knock it! 'member the year we got Gramma's exorcism on Hard Copy?vice Pope Doug

Another childhood moment is lost forever as Bil, his mind reduced to jelly by a six-day Drain-O bender, calmly drools and videotapes the mailbox.Jizmo the Wonder Horse

"I dunno, Dad. Some people may not consider an amateur video of Thel fucking a Garden Weasel a 'treat.'"Jizmo the Wonder Horse

"Simpson came to visit one day, on vacation from the Fox Network. The little pissant thought he was a badass. One look at the set of Dad and Ray's new film "Studs in Boyland", and he had to carry around a barf bag for weeks."-PJ Keane, prison transcriptzen

You know, I don't think Bil quite understands the need for disguises on "Peeping Tom" night.bobo

"I think you were right to go with the witch instead of 'Crazy Mouse-Head.'"Mycroft

Halloween? I didn't know it was Halloween already. This is our regular "Soldierboy Video Fantasy" night.Trotsky

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