DFC #297

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"And then your back foot... Yo, Bil! You want me to teach you how to moonwalk, or would you rather just strip so you could do that a little more obviously? Sick fuck, it's a good thing the police put that homing device on you..."frood

Rectum? Damn near killed him!Doc Evil

I don't know what pain is? Jeez Dad, you creep me out when you say things like that....Dad?anon

Billy could tell Bil just wasn't getting it. "Look, Dad, it's simple. You and I experience the universe in 3 spacial dimensions. Yet string theory dictates that the universe actually exists in 10 dimensions. Now; we can only conceive of these higher dimensions as mathmatical constructs, but a dog experiences the universe in four dimensions. Nothing? Sigh. OK, I'll put it this way: Barfy's found a way out of the yard."Shifter

"Yo,Bil...does this LOOK like 150 feet from any playground or school? Damn, a court order isn't worth shit anymore..."Billy

The Birth of Barfy: Like Medea, sprung full-grown from the forehead of Zeus, Barfy leaps into existence from the crotch of Bil, clutching the Sausage of the Gods in his jaws. Doc Mythological

Give it up Bil. I know you're trying to appeal to the Gen-X crowd, but you're give the term Slacker a bad name.bobo

C'mon Dad. Four words. It's been two hours. Christ, I hate playing charades with this family.Anastasia

CAUTION: Melon-headed objects in mirror are closer than they appearCoalcracker

"Uhhh, if it's all right, Bil, Barfy's gonna be the center. After our game last weekend, I still can't sit very well. Yo, Bil! Any of this sinking in, big guy?"Tillman

...but Barfy ran into the frame, forcing a re-shoot of what would become The Biltles bleakest, and most powerful, album cover: Feelina 9-Slap.Rotter

Jeffy, relegated to the background, was very curious: just what was Barfy's tail doing?Waits

It's too dark to read, you say? We'll just see about that... hey, where're you going, Barfy?Ravecavy

Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read, you say? We'll just see about that... hey, where're you going, Barfy?Ravecavy

Once again another heart warming scene of the DFC at it's best, Barfy's ass pointing skyward, Billy's thumb meandering upwards towards his asshole, Bil playing pocket pool, Jeffy hiding Barbie away from Dolly'd prying eyes, and Thel and Dolly's silhouttes as they masturbate for all the world to see!!! Bobo Claus - The PornoSanta

Y'know, Barfy wouldn't hafta bite down on that football if you'd just use a little more K-Y.Riff

Soooh, let me get this straight. We are stuck in this cramped little 2-D circle our whole lives, where's Barfy and Sam are allowed to roam around as much as they want as long as they bring you back booze and drugs from the "Outer World." anon

It just doesn't make sense -- you're saying he's smart enough to find his way to Zippy with the drugs, but dumb enough to return with the money??Namgubed the Merry Elf--

Obsessed with the need for privacy, Bil even put both blinds and curtains on the outside of every window.Shem

Billy shouted in vain, Bil was in his "happy place" again.The 13th Angel

Looks like Number 6 is making a break from the circle again, number 3. Shall we have Rover go fetch it?The Prisoner

"Gosh, Dad. How did you ever train Barfy to always take off like a bat out of hell just by unzipping your pants?"Zegunder

in the bil keane universe, there is no face on the moon. rather, there are two misshapen kids, a dog with his tail in the air, and an inspired guy playing pocket pool while taking it all in.joe bleau

I think the fourth wall's busted again, Daddy.Jim Smith

Jeffy stood in the background, pondering his life. Once, he was lord of the circle; then, he settled for foreground, non-speaking roles. Now, he was so far back, that only his bacon-hair and Billy in the front made him recognizable. A small tear rolled down his cheek, but nobody noticed.Thany, who has listened to "The Lonely Kicker" one too many times

Despondent over his increasingly obvious weight problem, Bil took to encouraging the kids to get fat along with him, with such propaganda as the "EXPLODE" t-shirts, pictured here. --Oliver Sacks, The Man Who Mistook His Gut For San DiegoRavecavy

Again Billy asked about the odd shaped vegetable the dog found in the house, but Bill just stared into space with vacant eyes and repeated "Pod, what pod, I donít see any pod. Lets go back into the house, we have things from basement bring up we must."anon

Bil listened for a moment, then went back to his original train of thought. "Drive into a bridge abutment: no good, the Gremlin won't go above 33; Pills: the kids gobble 'em so fast there's never a lethal dose around; Noose: to collect the insurance Thel would probably dress me in lingerie to make it look like an auto-erotic accident; Gun: yeah, as if I could go on for five more fucking days..."Rotter

Chill, Daddy! Luann is out of bounds! Two words: Four. Teen. Oh jeez, you've got that look -- here we go again!Vice Pope Doug

I know what you're thinkin Bil. When Thel aint puttin out Barfy starts lookin pretty sweet huh?six

A still from the "direct to video" release of "Honey, I Shrunk Jeffy Down to the Size of a Chihuahua, Blew Up the Dog to the Size of a Pony, and Still Have Time to Vacantly Stare at my Son and Wank it on the Lawn.anon

The dog knew. Somehow, his canine brain realized that the humans were once again playing "I bet you can't fit that in the dog". His only hope was to take it far, far away. And bury it. Quickly.zen

"You may have thought we were trapped in this circle for all time, numbfuck, but you forgot one thing-DOGS CAN DIG!!! ONWARDS TO FREEDOM MY SIBLINGS!"CrAsH(of the never-accepted caption)

...so if we then apply this post-Einsteinian view of time-space, you can see that...oh...whoops...rapid motion in your viewpath. I've lost you, haven't I?anon

With the I'm a Penis Chomper debacle barely forgotten, Billy once again falls victim to the sadism of the slogan, with his "Bugger Me" sweaterzen

"Did you ever get the feelin'... you was bein' watched... by architecture?"Ravecavy

Barfy rushed off to notify the police. Bil had violated Indiana's "discernibly turgid" statute for the last time.ann onn

Oh Christ, Dad, take that muscle shirt off. You "cruising" days are long gone.Timmy's Flat Rotting Colon

Uh oh. I know that look. That's the my-life-is-a-living-hell, it's-time-to-reassert-my-manhood-by-buggering-the-boys look. Run, Jeffy!The Middle Hanson

So, um, if you really are glad to see me, how come the bulge doesn't come close to the one you had in #295?Gen. Sedgwick

Hold it. This is no longer a self-portrait as "lovable loser"-- this is a cry for help. Somebody alert Cowles. I'm serious, man.Horselover Fat

A quick-thinking Cowles production assistant retouched the panel, hastily scribbling Barfy's body onto the end of Bil's penis and making the 'Cornholio' on Billy's shirt unreadable. At least for now, civilization was saved.anon

Billy stopped in midsentence, Jeffy froze, and the dog bolted. Bil had made parole..the FUNdamentalist

While Billy distracted Bil with an inane question about p'sghetti, Barfy made a desperate bid for freedom, carrying the children's plea for help written on a toy football. All their hopes were now pinned on the intrepid mutt.Tracy

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