DFC #301

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

The DFCers are here, Jeffy, turn around and show 'em your t-shirt slogan.Namgubed the Merry Elf

Three words Peeje: Two piece outfit... Try it sometime...Doc Evil

Jeffy, Mom wants you to do your Brillo Pad thing again.Namgubed the Merry Elf

"Whoa, uncontrollable momentum here - too much weight in the rear compartment, 'parently - get ready to be crushed to death, peons!"anon

"No, she's just washing the all the dishes again. I guess we're on our own until she runs outta meth."Dr. KNob

You are two lucky mutherfuckers. But as soon as Bob Keeshan moves out, your pasty white asses are mine.Mighty Owl

Mom says I'm right. There is such a thing as female ejaculate and that's what squirted in your eye.Buzz Lightbeer

Well, boys, it's settled. Mom says that Daddy said I'm the best kisser!Supergirl

That's the fifteenth time she's washed her hands since dinner. She's close, boys, she's soooo close.Ol' Franklin

Now available on video: Dolly Keane in Melondance.Gen. Sedgwick

Anyone up for raidin' Daddy's wallet and sneakin' out to Mario's Pizza World? Mommy's makin' spam an' grits for the fourth straight day.Mr. Ben McClellan

Welcome to the Odd Perspective Lounge. I'm Dolly, and I'll be your massive hulk for the evening.Jenn Dolari

"YO! Miz Keane! Sum rif-raff out here sez' dey' knows you. You want I'z to rough em' up?"Magus

Spoil my sponsorship deals by telling the recruiter for the East German women's weightlifting team in the living room that I'm on the juice and I'll rearrange your limbs. Bilgerat

Don't get too excited. She burned the gruel again.Anastasia

What part of "Get the fuck out of my way you two dickwads before I stuff your heads up each other's rectums" didn't you understand?-Jester

"Awl bee bock." -The DollynatorReverend Wholesomeness

...no you can't come in, mommy's makin' homemade bread from her yeast infection.R.J.M.

"Sorry punks, but nobody gets to the food if they ain't on my list. And you ain't on my list."Shifter

It's called "reverse sexual dimorphism," shrimps. Do a web search.t. hawk

This house has 3000 square feet in the downstairs alone, and half of it's goddam kitchen!Vitamin Tom

Soryy, guys, but Mommy says I have the fattest ass. You each owe me a buck.agm

Must. Smash. Melons. To. Serve. Lord. Thelma.zen

Looks like it's gaspetti for dinner AGAIN. Can't one of you two talentless hacks find a funny way of saying "pizza"?Coalcracker

"Dinner's always better when Mommy makes it wearing nothin' but a thong.hangtownman

Move aside, puny creatures, the mighty Xena craves television!Larry Hastings

Billy? Who is "Billy?" Another imaginary friend? Now step out of the way. Mommy wants me to call the Insinkerator repair guy.Stefan Jones

"Sorry, guys, the talks broke down. It's medical experimentation for the both of you..."Tillman

Before they knew what hit them, PJ was flying across the room clutching his balls and Jeffy was on the ground gasping for air. The Dolly-Droid had protected the kitchen well.Rimbaud

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