DFC #313

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

I'm comfortable with MY grip... Have you made a wish?anon

Mein Fuhrer! I can valk!Doc Evil

Anxious to put some life and originality back into the sport, the NDTA (National Dwarf Toss Association) introduces the mixed doubles tournament.-Jester

Bil just couldn't help it...his usual vacant uncomprehending expression was broken by a soft chuckle at Dolly's funny little yelps of painDog-matic 2000®

Sports Photography 101: Billy, the composition and focus are excellent, but catching the Dwarf Toss right at the bottom of the arc destroys any sense of movement. B-.Galahad


Day by day, Bil and Dolly's infatuation became more obvious. Dolly literally floated in air and Bil couldn't keep his eyes off her. Their father-daughter matching outfits drew amused glances from strangers in the park. Meanwhile, Thel retreated further into herself. From Daddy's Girl: A Case History. anon

"I'm a little bull dyke / short an' stout / can't wait 'til I'm eighteen / so I can come OUT!"VPD

With Bil smiling down on Dolly in his insipid, charmless way, Thel frowned. She'd have to kill Dolly before the little bitch was old enough to challenge her for supremacy of the Keane family.Darth Vader, Lord of the Dance

This lame acrobat act was only one of the reasons Cirque du Famile bombed.Gen. Sedgwick

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Shlameel, Shlamazel, Hassenpfeffer Incorporated!Namgubed the Merry Elf

Man, I love the warm glow of family togetherness. No wait, that's my Spidey sense. Forget I said anything.nonentity

While this seems to be a lovely potrait of family togetherness, the shape that the family makes is actually the ancient Chinese symbol for incestuous sodomy.nonentity

"These aren't my parents!!!"M

As they approach the men working down in the storm sewer, Dolly suddenly realizes why mom and dad had her leave the house without panties on.Snarl

"Hey, look at those strange people over there! Their whole bodies cast shadows, not just their feet! That's so weird!"ks

Years later--performing around the country as Dolly Fantastic, The Freak With The Five-Foot Arms--she would often take out this snapshot and gaze at it with a rueful smile.ks

"Wow! All my fingers pulled at the same time! It's like a dream come true!"ks

We're going to the abatoire! I've never been to a french restuarant before!anon

In many cultures, white is a symbol of purity, and black is a symbol of evil. Notice how the artist uses this symbolism to highlight the soiled, evil parts of each character.Bev

"I bet you're gonna be the youngest grandma in the whole world , Mommy!!"Sweet Leaf

The center panel from "Triptych: The Martyrdom of Saint Dolly"L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg

Between Dad's "Fred" costume and my "Velma" outfit, this is going to be the best ScoobyCon ever!L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg

Slide #5 from Fun with Rigermortous Downladen Swallow

"Look, I'm sure Vishnu demands that a dwarfish, melonheaded, imbred virgin to be sacrificed in the clearing, but you guy’s are over looking a very important detail here."Downladen Swallow

"Please, Master and Mistress...if this humble slave may speak, I think my arms have been dislocated enough now... please, the whip, anything else... PLEASE?... gasp.."I B L I S

"What a wonderful day in the park!" Dolly yelled, hoping the other visitors wouldn't notice the melonheads breaking into their cars.anon

Thanks for helping me home, guys. That's the last time I party with Mr. Lockhorn!Riff

In his later years, Bil would remember how much Dolly liked her trips to the women's prison.anon

Now, in this cartoon Dolly represents Jesus (note rays of divinity that form a halo) and she is being held above the earth, closer to Heaven, by her father (God) and mother (virgin Mary), thus indicating Jesus' superiority over the secular Earth life. Either that or Bil still can't draw anything in proportion.the skyclad answer

I'm still not getting any lankier--perhaps SpiceGirlhood is simply not my destiny.anon

So... I get a lollipop after the 'bortion, don't I?rob

Who says little kids shouldn't drink 'ppucinos? I've had four of 'em and I don't feel any different. xian, doomed for eternity on the nothing list

If either of you say "Make a wish!" again, I'll piss in your bourbon when we get home.Heath

Bil and Thel were so proud. They paraded young Dolly through Central Park everyday so she could practise screaming her newly-learned racial epithets at passersby.M

Arms...dislocating...muscles...ripping...hear vains...poping... head swimming... I can see..God.... I CAN SEE GOD!!Mr Mutant

`Lobotomy, schlbotomoy...all I know is that I feel GREAT!anon

With a heavy heart, Thel reluctantly helps Bil carry her beloved daughter to sell to the gypsies. Meanwhile, Bil just keeps saying "Cha-ching! Cha-ching!"Marlboro

First one to enter a superglue caption must proceed directly to the nearest Spice Girls page and sit in front of it for one hour.Marlboro

Really, I'm feeling much better. I don't need electro-shock. Happy family, happy family...Klaus

Back to the DFC Archive index