DFC #316

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Ya know? If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.Bubba

"Well, if you can't figure it out, what th' heck are the deer supposed to do?"anon

See I told you - you missed with every shot. Now get back in the truck - its my turn!Yakko

"CUT! Jesus, first the camera man accidently fails to crop out the Deer Crossing sign, now 'Noah' here is entranced by a bird sitting on a limb. How are we EVER gonna finish this bible movie?"Magus

A deer crossing? In suburban New Jersey?!! Surely you jest!Mr. Ben McClellan

Keane hunting parties often wait patiently for hours, even days, for suitable prey -- a process complicated by their inability to seek cover or camouflage. -- Wild Discovery: The Keanes of ToonlandGen. Sedgwick

"Deer Crossing?" I'm sure that's what the Trilateral Commision would have you think.Jenn Dolari

"...in bed!"Big ol' Bob

"No it doesn't say "REED GNISSORC". Jesus, no wonder you can't draw worth a fuck!"hangtownman

"Ah. Good. Deer come. We wait. Sharpen spears. Eat good tonight."Magus

"You're right, there is a hidden message. It means 'This is a spot that deer sometimes use to cross the road.'"anon

Uh, Dad? There's a tick on your left hip, and it looks like he's been feeding quite a while.Gen. Sedgwick

No Daddy - You just can't do that to Bambi!!!bbking

I'm sure we've made the deer very cross, by just standing here. CAN WE GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE?!Rev. B.

Fuck, they ditched us! We're even too goony for the Promise Keepers.anon

I hate it when he takes mushrooms on these trips. How long is he gonna stand there?Gromble

Daddy, your legs are as smooth as PJ's ass!Henley Placket

It says "DEER CROSSING" , you illiterate asshole, now move on!BDamage

OK, nature boy. We've been here four hours! I think we should go, before this sign gets changed to "Goggle-Eyed Dork With Stick Up His Ass Crossing"...capiche?Paul "Jeffy Pesci" Reed

See? I told you there was no such thing as a "beer crossing"! I think you need thicker glasses!Riff

Will there be plenty fruit pickin jobs for us in California like the Joads said? Mr. ?

Pathetically, the Keane family has still not evolved past Stone Age technology.Magus

"Damn! We can't use this. We need the 'Pasty No-Talent Cartoonist and His Freakish Spawn' crossing."hangtownman

Who wears short shorts? We wear short shorts! Who wears--damn, this Lyme Disease's making me loopy!Coalcracker

"You've been staring at it for 3 hours now without an intellectual evolutionary leap, let's just accept we're not in a Kubric film and move one!!"Bil's Drinkin' Buddy

First you both dress alike, now you're both ignoring me. Is it "Ostracize Your Middle Son Day" again already?L Fitzgerald Sj÷berg

"Community Service" my ass. If I had known the judge was gonna make us pick up trash along the side of the road with a freaking stick, I would have taken the jail time.El Kabong

Ya know, Daddy, maybe if you got a stronger prescription we wouldn't have to get out of the car every time we came to a traffic sign!The Hanged Man

Dad has that look in his eye. We better call Bestiality Anonymous.Green Mt. Mike

"JESUS CHRIST! It's been over 20 minutes already! How long does it take foryou to sound out two simple words?"Aviator

Dad, one quick question: Why the IBM Selectric on your back?zen

I don't think the sign's gonna turn green, Dad.Brad Popsiclestick

I can see how your poor reading comprehension skills got you here, but I'm afraid it's Deer Crossing, not Cross Dressing.Nethicus

"Gee, Bil. I thought you were the only one who crucified animals."Rich Lather

"Tell me again how we're gonna catch a deer with three sticks and a computer monitor?"Moorlock

"So why do they cross the road?"Shem

They tried to ignore Jeffy. Eventually he'd look down, and then he'd finally fall into the chasm.Shem

Bil's determination to lead his sons on a hike across the country foundered when he was unable to recognize any landmarks farther from home than the liquor store.Shem

"I'm with you, Billy. If he mumbles another five minutes about white tails, we're bookin'." Adam, madam

Billy closed his eyes in disgust. Asking Bil for a drink from his canteen was dangerous enough. But saying, "Can I suck on that a moment?" was just begging for trouble.Shem

Great foliage, but when it came to a silhouette of a deer rampant, you choked, you talentless hack!Namgubed the Merry Elf

Are we there yet?.......Are we there yet?.......Are we there yet?.......Are we there yet?.......Are we there yet?.......Are we there yet?.......Are we there yet?.......Are we there yet?.......Are we there yet?.......Are we there yet?.......Are we there yet?.......Are we there yet?.......Timmy's Flat Rotting Colon

What kind of deer do you suppose there are in a forest of giant celery?anon

"Geez, should I get the station wagon? So far we only have 10 points for those two chihuahuas you backed over in the campground"mutantdog

Judging by the run of nature scenes lately, am I right in assuming your swimsuit edition of Ranger Rick has arrived in the mail?Hugh Jass

Noah has a Bar Mitzvah. Tyrell has an African manhood ceremony. But WE have to kill a deer with fire-hardened sticks like our Teutonic ancestors?Trism

I sure am glad "U.S. English" had its way with Congress. I HATE those damn pictograms.Loopy the Slug

Bil knew that he had stepped into an H.P. Lovecraft novel when he saw the whole forest glowing with a pale white color.Mr. ?

Uh, Dad? Hunters use rifles. Not sticks. Sticks don't hurt the deer as much as rifles do.agm

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