DFC #32

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Mommy, tell me again why you took thalidomide when you were pregnant with me.The Outsider

You sure have a nice ass, Mom. If I could fit a bag over your head, I'd do you myself!Roy

C'mon Mom. Do we have to see another Pauly Shore movie?Bryan Sykora

Last time they ran the movie backwards by accident. The cumshots looked really weird.anon

Aww, Mom! You KNOW I can't eat popcorn wearing handcuffs!anon

Do you even KNOW what they put in those hot-dogs?Bob Anonymous

As big as your butt is, do you *really* think you should be eating those Milk-Duds?Bob Anonymous

My arms got stuck in those cup-holders. I had to gnaw my hands off to get loose.Bob Anonymous

Wow! Your butt grew just from ORDERING the buttered popcorn!anon

I made a poopie.Judge Dredd

I bet Bambi's mom was delicious.DMW

Wow! Concession stands in a porno theater. Who 'da thunk it?Hugh Jass

So, the float spell finally wore off, did it?Chadly X

I'm trying out one of those Wonderbras. Does it look like I have hooters?panicboy

So what I'm guessing is that Daddy had a bunch of ink that was about to go bad, and viola - this cartoon was born.Craig

Mommy, why do those freaks at the DFC automatically think this is a porno theater?Craig

You know, this business of you dropping popcorn in my lap so you can pick it up with your tongue is getting kinda old.Capt. phealy

You get the food. I'm gonna go drain a vein against that wall over there.paTRICK heSTER

Good news, bitch. They restocked the "Love Rocket 69,000" in the bathroom dispenser.Friend of Tone Csernak, Hungarian Stallion

I know death-row executions are getting popular, but refreshment stands?Trism

I have alerted security, Mom, and hinted that a full cavity search may be necessary. Have fun.Lord Gek

Mom you know it gives me a stiffy when you pose like that!Jon

You better leave Sally the waitress a big tip - I pooped on the seat again.BK

Mom, we've already seen "Sons and Lovers" six times. I think I get the point.anon

You promised we'd swich one day, and now I'm cashin' in - now give me that ticket to "Brass Knuckle Justice" - YOU can go see "101 Dalmations!"BK

Look, there's no two ways around it. Bil Draws me and the rest of the kids to look like dorks while he set you up with great boobs and a butt that just won't quit.Nat Fairbanks

Mom, No. Please, no popcorn! You know how it gives you gas and I don't.... euw, Mom! Is it ok if I don't sit next to you in the movies?BK

O glorious posterior, O rounded, perfect, silken orbs of promised flesh that writhes within its tenbrous sheath.... oh, sorry mom.The Sandman

What've I got in my hands? Oh, nothing, nothing at all! Certainly not any little marzipan oddities from the erotic bakery over there! Nope, not me!patrik

ANOTHER beer? You're just trying to loosen me up, aren't you!patrik

Hi! I'm not wearing any underwear!patrik

Mommy, how come daddy gets all the copyrights to the stuff I draw?Yakko

Mom, you know I don't need that many condoms for my school trip! Teacher doesn't like how they feel anyhow.John Longarrow

What do you mean I'll grow into them?! My legs have been the same length for as long as anyone can remember! Why can't I buy pants that fit!?BK

Mommy, I just kyped a rock that looks to be about a D in color and at least VVS in clarity; if you walk out of the store with me quietly right now, I'll never ask for allowance again!VPD

I didn't even *know* the Pussy-Cat Theater had a children's matinee.Fork

Why are you looking at me like that? Aw Mom, you're not going to try and trade me for some Milk Duds again, are you?Fork

See that over there mom? That's the Muppets new movie, see how the kids are going in there? That's a movie you take your children to, but no, all we watch are films that I can't spell and much less pronounce.Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar

Hey mom, can I get the... HAAAAAGGGH! Cripes! PLEASE go see an exorcist or chiropractor PRONTO!MrNeutron

"I love these 'Parent-child' porno nights! Got a dollar? I want to buy that girl by the bathroom for an hour."Felix W.

Red Hook double-black stout for me, please.ewhac

"Would you be mad if I told you I accidentally set the walls of the bathroom on fire?"Felix W.

There it was again. She knew she wasn't hallucinating this time. They were here. And they were using that goofy kid as a decoy. Well, it won't work *this* time, she thought. "Come here, kid," she said quietly, as she flipped off the safety of her .45.Felix W.

"Why bother? You're just going to bring it back up in five minutes anyway."Larry Hastings

Are you buying one of those lolly pops shaped like my pee-pee?Pastor SWIGGY of the Church of SPAM

Why do they have a movie consession stand in the middle of this museum? Why am I staring at your butt? This makes no sense, Keane. anon

I only asked why Raisinettes are so *&#@ expensive at the movies. It's a VALID question!BK

Them underalls sure is workin', ma.zed

We took a vote: It's 'Satyricon' or nothin'.8R

She knew from the glazed blank stare on Jeffy's face, and that characteristic oval-shaped gauking mouth, that he had shit his pants again.kafka

Many people are now saying that Hollywood is poisoning the well of society by negatively influencing people's behavior by glamorizing violence and hiding behind artistic licence. If I kill you after this movie, I can't be blamed. Do you understand that?BK

Hey, sister, how 'bout you tell that loser husband of yours that we'd be more independent if we were taller. If I were ordering, she'd think she was hearing voices inside her friggin' head!BK

O.K. Now, you hand her the five and ask her for two tens . . . anon

I want to impress my friend over there. Would it be alright to call you "Bitch" instead of "Mom"?THX-1138

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