DFC #320

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Dad, Mary Poppins got you fired from the bank again -- Dad?Namgubed the Merry Elf

Bil, get over it. Flying a black kite every anniversary of the day "Sky King" was cancelled is just pathetic.Thany

"Other cartoon kids get to hang-glide. Other cartoon kids get to listen to Smashing Pumpkins instead of Enya. Other cartoon kids get Johnny Quest instead of Uncle Roy. Other cartoon kids..."Heath

"Dad, just accept reality. This isn't Viet Nam, and there never were any such things as 'Fighter Kites'. Just calm down."Magus

It's no use Commissioner Gordon. Unless we can get the real Bat-Signal working, the Joker will own this city.bobo

"It's a touching gesture Dad, but if you want to send our letters to Grandpa, you should BURY the kite."Magus

Daddy! Weren't there six trees in our yard a couple panels ago? What's going on here?Mr. Ben McClellan

Yeah dad, but in Peanuts they had that "Kite-Eating Tree" to bring the comedic aspects of kite flying to fruition. We live in a barren, desolate, vanilla wasteland. tralfie

He's drawing himself with biceps and a waist again. Think maybe Roy's been roaming lately?Gen. Sedgwick

"I forget - does flying the black kite symbolize that we have or have not selected the new Vice Pope?"hangtownman

Gee, Dad, [snicker] maybe Grampa Keane is puffing [chortle] to make it dance for us.Gen. Sedgwick

If that's how Barfy got his name, why isn't Thel named "Spitting Up Semen"?L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg

This is fucking lame, I thought you said we were going to "fry a kike!"Auntie Semite

... so then Daddy slammed down the phone and said, "Fine! Let's see those hotshot fighter jocks buzz my house with a KITE stuffed up their engines!" That was three weeks ago.Ace

... so then he muttered something about going outside to offer a sacrifice to "the cloud gods." He should be fine once the acid wears off.Ace

"Sure it's a sweet thought, Daddy, but I'm afraid you can't fly a kite all the way to heaven. You see, there is no heaven. There is no eternal reward, just this endless morass of hate, pain, and suffering that we call life." Rev-O

Dammit, I told you those things don't work, Dad. Will you please stop ordering penile extenders from the back of 'Big'Uns'?MonkeyBrain

With billboards rapidly disappearing and Joe Camel banned, the tobacco companies secretly pay Bil Keane to fly kites with cigarette ads on them above the American Lung Association's headquarters.marty gray

"Don't interrupt, Jeffy. Daddy's still working on his little 'problem'. Ok, Bil, now imagine that your penis is like the kite..."Zsa Zsa

"It's been an hour. Aren't you going to let PJ down yet, Daddy?"Shem

Dad, that pecker wouldn't jump if you pumped four million VOLTS through it. That is an ex-penis! --From the unreleased album "Monty Pythone meets the Family Circus"zen

Unbeknownst to most historians, Benjamin Franklin surrounded himself with a circle of mocking dwarves for scientific inspiration.M

I think we must question this cartoons validity as "family" oriented fare. Dolly begging for (we hope)change, Jeffy's skull beaten until massive welts appear and Bil pulling down the power lines to use as kite string. Bil Keane is single-handedly destroying America's value system by exploiting the social inequalities in all of us. For shame Mr. Keane, for shame.Kevin MacDonald

"Mom says her box kite is almost ready and wants to know if you could keep yours up another three minutes. Could the symbolism be piled any deeper?" Adam (Sperm on a string) madam

"It's a Keane family custom. You fly a black kite after you kill someone."Shem

"We only come out on overcast days 'cause it's easier to draw."Who me?

Daddy, I know Uncle Roy likes the smooth look but wouldn't electrolosis be safer?Opie

Stop pulling the string, Daddy! You're unraveling the whole panel!Bilal D.

OK: the sperm reaches the egg and attaches itself to the cell wall. Then what?Rotter

...skating at the $100,000,000 ice-sports complex which Schulz paid for himself and runs at an annual million-dollar loss. Berkeley Breathed usually spends every other month on some sort of exotic nature safari. Scott Adams, on the other hand, has so many projects going on that he doesn't even have time for hobbies. Oh, and Jim Davis' love of extreme powerboat racing has led to...eRotter

"Sure there's a difference, Daddy...Ben Franklin got laid alot more than you do!"The Mad Whacker

Sperm, it's all I can think about- the kite, her head, all sperm. I can't think of anything particularily funny. Sperm is definately a major theme though. I guess i just hate comedy. mothernothing

You can stop sublimating, Dad. We all pooled our allowance money and bought you a hooker.me, myself, I

"Well, technically this isn't a violation of the '100 yard' clause in the restraining order. But I'm not sure I understand what this is going to accomplish."Westur the Unspeakable

"Jesus H. Christ, Bil! We coulda nuked the whole package of dogs by now!"anon

Well, if you wore WHITE pants, you might have enough ink to draw a sky!Namgubed the Merry Elf

Careful, you don't want to puncture the top of our cartoon! You remember how hard it was to get rid of Marmaduke the last time!Mr.?

See, entrails work much better than a boring ol ribbon.Mr.?

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