DFC #330

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Jesus, Jeffy! When I yelled out "Let 'er rip!", I was talking to P.J.!bobo

P.J. had seen Bill in that position many times, but never from above.Elongated Lad

Order now! New! Melon-headed sea monkies! Hours of fun as you watch them play and cavort!Mr. ?

Suddenly P.J. realized, a well aimed foot placement during the slide and he would avenge himself from those unwanted nocturnal visits.The Mad Whacker

Dolly and Jeffy fled, but PJ froze in fear when he saw That Look in Bil's eye again.Peon

I remember that beautiful afternoon as if it were yesterday. The sun was shining, Jeffy and I engaged in a playful game of tag and Dad waited at the bottom of the slide, encouraging PJ to be brave. It was one of the few bright points in my miserable childhood. We did have to crop out Billy getting mauled by Sam on the sidewalk, though.--excerpt from The Dark Circle, by Dolly Keane.Ultra-Girl

PJ hesitated as he remembered overhearing Uncle Roy complaining about how Bil didn't like to be the catcher.hangtownman

Defying the assumption that animated features had to be in color, the low-budget Slayground was such a success that by October Bil Keane masks outsold all others.Gen. Sedgwick

Secretly, Bil Keane drew this panel to represent lost innocence. We start out shivering and afraid, then after a while of coaxing we slide into carefree euphoria, only to be grabbed up by a dorky cartoonist in swimming trunks... Well, maybe not EXACTLY.Magus

Family Circus Flashback #913: P.J. would often climb to the top of the slide and threaten to jump unless someone told him what his initials stood for. The one and only Don C.

What's wrong with this picture? A: Every Chutes and Ladders fan knows PJ has to do something naughty before he slides down the chute.Heath

Noted quotidian George Will plays an even better Bil than gadabout Peter Scolari!Xebec

PJ flashes back -- the policeman trying to save him from falling from the roof and instead plunges to his own demise. The vertigo was coming back!North by North-Nethicus

PJ froze at the top of the slide...Even at the tender age of 2 he was well aware that the suspicious lump in Bil's short-shorts was not a tube of Flicks.Opie

On his furlough days from the treatment center, Bil would often take us to the park. Of course the social worker never let us out of her sight, but Bil always managed to get a quick feel somehow. Growing up Keene: Life within the circle by Billy KeeneJohnBoy

See? The slide represents PJ's childhood fears, which he can only confront by embracing the Jungian father archetype. Quick--push him before he has a shot at a normal childhood!Coalcracker

Just think -- even after buying the slide, Daddy saved enough from Billy's salary to take us to the zoo! I love downsizing!!!Gen. Sedgwick

This slide is like Bil's career: Goin' downhill FAST!Doc Evil

Later that day, Jeffy and I finally hit a manic phase, but by that time Bil was so depressed it was all he could do to keep his arms raised above waist level. --Bipolar, Bisexual, Biding My Time: The Dolly Keane Storyks

A wildly paranoid Bil spent hours drilling his family on what to do in the "unlikely" event of a water landing.ks

"Don't worry, PJ, Daddy'll catch you. He's a good catcher. Although, isn't the catcher s'posed to be in the rye, rather than vice versa?"ks

The kids tried to just enjoy the slide and ignore Bil, who stood there drunkenly asserting that the fish he caught on the camping trip was "this big."ks

I just didn't know they could sentence a war criminal to community service.Xebec

"Please, " whimpered PJ. "Please put me back in the car seat!"Heath

"It was our own form of Russian Roulette. We would get Bil tanked up on shnapps, then go out to the playground on a really hot day. The loser would be the one he threw up on." - From "They call me Portly Joe"bobo

"A frightened infant, a dorky dresser, and a slide in a barren wasteland. Last time I have super-combo pizza before bedtime!"Crazy Climber

I know we were hard on Dad sometimes. But his attempts to embrace inanimate playground equipment were a cry for help so desperate even my cold heart could bear them no longer... -- From Loveless Circle by Dolly Keane-GingrichCoalcracker

"Sure, we start out at Dad's level, then unbelievably, we manage to sink lower."twomp

"Poor Peej. Too young to figure out Dad's too far into thorazine land to make a worthwhile grab."twomp

"Phil Donahue doesn't wax his legs, Jeffy. That's how you tell them apart!"Heath

For one blissful moment their eyes met, and they both remembered the old times -- the tender caresses, the long, slow cruises up the river, the vinyl bodysuits. Then it was over, and once again, they were just a father and son in recovery.phil

Now, quickly, back to the top! If the general theory of relativity is correct, we should see our own grandchilden at the top!Bil

Bil begged for PJ to come down, but PJ wasn't listening. 'This is what my father looks like to other grown-ups,' he thought. That night, they found him with a copy of Peter Pan and an empty botte of sleeping pills.The Dork Wanderer

What was shunned by society and ridiculed by late-night computer users on caffeine highs in the US, became a multi-billion yen franchise in Japan as "Happy Family in Fun Joy Circle World"The 13th Angel

Dimwit still puts both hands in. Guess we need Billy to demonstrate the Hokey Pokey again.Gen. Sedgwick

Maybe if we both slide down together, we'll have enough momentum to break his kneecaps!Dave!

The other kids watched in horror. Those Keane brats actually don't seem to mind Bil's vinyl, skin-tight shorts. they thought.Nethicus

"Hmmm," thought Bil. "Three kids... dogs can swim... guess it was Billy in the pool."Gen. Sedgwick

"This is the best Dad ever! Remember to tell Mom not to change his meds!"Westur the Unspeakable

Let's get outta here! I don't wanna be here when he finds out the hard way that PJ always stands up near the bottom.Gen. Sedgwick

Bil didn't notice the twisted, demonic head about to take a bite out of his ass until it was too late ...Riff

Come back here Jeffy! If the rest of us have to wear this candy-ass uniform, so do you!Opie

"Next time down, see if you can grab it in your teeth on your way by!"me, myself, I

The cover art to Shel Silverstein's The Playground Slide at the Edge of the Worldshabubu

Hey, PJ's terrified! Looks like we'll have a water slide after all!!!Gen. Sedgwick

A child weighing 30 pounds slides down a 45 degree slope with a vertical drop of five feet. Which of the following are true? (a) At the bottom he will be moving at 4 feet/second. (b) He will collide with a stationery obstacle with a force of 8.5 newtons. (c) Someone will expect him to pull their finger. (d) All of the above.Gen. Sedgwick

003 thought quickly. The SPECTRE agents were about to take the ladder. Jaws was waiting below. Only the proper trajectory would hit the giant in the groin and allow him to evade the evil agents. "Bloody hell," he thought. "This never happens to Bond!"--from BrownfingerPaul "Blofeld" Reed

"Race you to the pinnacle of our hopes and dreams, only to inevitably plummet down to Bil!"M

"All right, this time three shots of Jack each, and we go down on our stomachs. I still say PJ will be the first to puke!"Generik

"'An if we catch up to PJ, we win!" No, wait - that really was the caption... Oh my God!!! I'M BIL KEANE!!!! ARRGGGHH!!!!!G(bil)reg J

Perhaps P.J. would be encouraged to go down the slide if Bil were behind him.agm

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