DFC #347

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"No no, Kitty! Come back! We love you kitty- Aw hell. There goes dinner."Magus

Citing irreconcilable differences, Jeffy moves to Mexico to become "El Jeffe" the famous catador.Namgubed the Merry Elf

You think you're the new star, huh? Well, I've got stardom oozing from my pores!Namgubed the Merry Elf

Schroedinger's Cat leapt to safety, leaving the melon-headed kid to worry about quantum events.Stealth

While Jeffy was experiencing some rare affection holding a beloved pet, someone would activate the electric can opener. He could never figure out which one of us it was. He was too stupid to realize that we were taking turns. -- Dolly Keane Out of the Circle and into Scientologytwomp

Bad idea: Peaking on LSD and holding a twichy, nervous animal. Worse idea: Happening to glance at its anus, while peaking on LSD.twomp

Jeffy's "Cat Frisbee" never caught on, but his later game "Cat Ice Hockey" drew national attention and led eventually to a criminal record.Larry Hastings

Jeffy's grasp of slang was a constant source of trouble. He'd heard it was a thrill to "grab some pussy" and "score some tail", but when he tried it he just got lacerated.Larry Hastings

NO, I asked if you wanted to play Spades...not spay!R.J.M.

Kid's Quik Quiz #4: The Cat A Should be put to sleep and checked for rabies B Should be put to sleep as he is a danger to the children C WILL be put to sleep because he fucked with Jeffy. Correct Guesses win a commemerative Voodoo Jeffy.Pastor of Muppets

Wonder which hurts more -- the cat scratches or Jeffy's attempt at a split?Gen. Sedgwick

OW! All right, you little bastard, from now on call me Curiosity!Gen. Sedgwick

Sure, you liked the backrub, but when it comes to my needs, you're all "You only think of one thing" and "I just want to be friends".The Plague

"I guess that 'herding cats' thing really is just a figure of speech."Who me?

"Whoa! So if that's what it means to be 'fixed,' how are we going to fix PJ's wagon?"Who me?

Jeffy, noticing the outcome of Kittycat's surgery, realizes that he has gotten off easy with a couple of minor puncture wounds.Who me?

Aww, come on! All I wanted to do was make a catastrophe! Get it?!? Cat...ass...oh, fuck you.Dan Jones

"Jesus Christ! No wonder you're testy ... check out that tapeworm!"Trism

My weed's in your catnip!? Your catnip is in my weed!!agm

Thanks, Kittycat. With these stigmata I should have a devoted worldwide following in no time!Gen. Sedgwick

...thus proving Billy's theory that guys with piercings get all the pussy.LadyJ

"B was the boy/With a head like a melon/C was the cat/Whose butt he was smellin'" Edward Gorey The Dysfunctional ObelisksPonyboy2

Damn it, Kittycat! If both the stigmata aren't in the palms, we blow the whole deal!anon

Kittycat, Drive-by AcupuncturistRaven

Bitten by a radio-active cat, Billy thought he'd finally be able to graduate to the "Spider-Man" strip. Unfortunately, Stan Lee had no interest in a supervillain whose "power" was the ability to poop in a litterbox and clean his anus with his own tongue.from "CatBilly, PlatypusCathy, and PumpkinLinus: the Not-So-Super Villains"

I'll make a giant cat, and ride away from those kids who are always after me Lucky Charms!Namgubed the Merry Elf--

Jeffy would learn about the concept of 'explosive diahrea' from Kittycat in a sinister fashion he would NEVER forget...Doc Evil

Dolly Keane wins... ANIMALITY!Doc Evil

While Bil is on vacation today's strip is being drawn by his illegitimate Spanish daughter, Salvador Dolly.Gen. Sedgwick

Moments later the open-mouthed Jeffy unwittingly swallowed two action lines and got motion sickness.Gen. Sedgwick

Damn you kittycat, you not only look like grandpa, you scratch like him too!Crumbcake

Ahh..the Fifties, a time when..no, wait...It was the Seventies, and..Damn!...Even in those crazy Eighties..Aw, forget it! Remind me again, just when was it popular to stuff cats in your mouth and pierced forearms were cool?bobo

Kittykat punctured the melonheads skin; first stars came out, then planets and after that all sorts of other scenery to fill the featureless void. Exerpt from The Worlds Most Obscure Creation Myths Crackhead Jonny

Bil had to label the cat scratches with stars so that no one would mistake them for wandering nostrils.steph

Jeffy's 'swooping crane' technique was no match for Kittycat's double back-kick.hangtownman

"It was the first time Jeffy got hurt chasing a little pussy, but not the last. Good Heavens, not the last." from the eulogy given by William Keane Jr. at his brother Jeffy's memorial servicehangtownman

Whenever Jeffy would get the cat caught in his esophagus, the "Macarena Maneuver" always did the trick.Riff

Jeffy discovers the exact two acupuncture spots needed to generate spontaneous feline vomiting.Shifter

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