DFC #348

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"So far, this is the lamest orgy we've ever had!"Magus

Unable to get the Cohen brothers to direct, New Line Cinema had to resort to the Keane brothers for Fargo 2: Die Harder.Coalcracker

Hey! Don't accidentally throw away the stash again. I don't want any more giggling garbage men waking me up at 7 am this week.ol' franklin

The Keanes commemorate Earth Day by hauling off some white trash.Gen. Sedgwick

In Keane's Lord of the Rings Circus, the barrow wights weren't nearly as frightening as they were in Tolkein's works.hangtownman

"Ahoy! Sperm-burping gutter slut off the starboard bow - all hands prepare a boarding party!"hangtownman

Bring out your dead!.........Bring out your dead!Opie

At a sweatshot on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, Kathie Lee Gifford greets her newest "employees."Mr. Ben McClellan

"Bil's gettin' quite a workout--Dolly's huge lardass makes her a tough ho' to 'row! Thank you! I'm here all week."Larry Hastings

A scene of three children being led to the meat grinder by their drunken, pedophiliac father was cut from Pink Floyd's The Wall, as the band considered it "just too fucking bleak".Riff

Bil Keane in crushed velvet pants by Versace. T-shirt by Hilfiger. Wheelbarrow by John Deere. And kids by the mailman.Emaciated supermodel man

"Daddy said he'd get us trashed, but this is ridiculous!"Deiphage

"We're gonna run the Boston Marathon while Daddy's still in manic phase."Deiphage

Don't worry about dinner tonight, Mom! Did somebody say McDumpster?bobo

Hey good lookin', we'll be back to pick you up later!R.J.M.

"...and then Daddy said not to, but you know what a stubborn snot Billy is, he climbs over the fence and --BAM-- right off the edge of the world!"Darth Tigger

"Yeah, Ma, those damn Colombians are some tough bargainers! I mean, Billy for the 20 kilos was no biggie, but when they made us throw in Barfy...damn!"Darth Tigger

The Melon Harvest by Jean-Francois Millet. (On loan from the Louvre.)Gen. Sedgwick

"Back once again for the wheelbarrow master, crack-house manager, pimpin' in the pasture! Back once again with the ill behaviour, I'm the melonhead mutant, I'm the chubby-butt saviour! JUMP!" -- from DeeJayJayJeffy's latest video, Melonhead master.slightly twisted rhymes by Dan Jones

"Guess what, Mom? I can snort twice as much heroin as Dolly an' PJ without OD'in'!"Generik

"...Dack Janiels' Land. ...Why? Where the fuck've you been?"Generik

"Oh, yeah, like you've never been sodomized so hard you couldn't walk!"Generik

Sam followed along faithfully, hoping that soon, very soon, another of the tender, drugged, melon-headed morsels might bounce from the wheelbarrow and become his.Generik

"Daddy's teachin' us all about dumpster divin'!"Generik

Sam thought this outing was more fun than a barrowful of junkies. Wait a second....Stealth

The only results of a HotBot search using the keywords "pedophilia," "garbage," "melon," and "upskirt."Gen. Sedgwick

"Here's an update, Thel! Billy fell off at the starting gate! PJ horked creamed corn at turn 2 and passed out! Dolly's enjoying the up and down vibrating motions, but spewed applesause in turn 3! Bil and I killed a pint of Old Bantam whiskey and aren't even queasy! I guess we know who the REAL partiers are NOW, huh?"Tillman

"Farm livin' is great! Everything we heard is true--why, the sheep don't even move!"Larry Hastings

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."Deiphage

"We're not sure. Something about 'White Trash Pride Week.' So tease your hair up real big, smear a pound or two of makeup onto your pockmarked face, and hop in!"me, myself, I

Forget rootin' around in th' garbage! Rich folks keep all their cool stuff in th' tool shed!agm

"Faster! Faster! Up the side of the circle! We can make it!"Who me?

"Hey, Mom, you missed the Civil War reenactment! We're the wounded returning from battle. We had to bury Billy. He was so brave."Who me?

Hiya Mommy! We got kicked out of three bars before Noon, got 'rested twice, an' got the car 'possessed by some really big men. We wanna do visitation with Daddy every weekend!!Vice Pope Doug

'An the car got totalled, an' this lady died, screamin' really loud, an' Billy died, but they tried to save him but he had s'vere scrotal hemmorhoiding an' smashive head wounds. Daddy got charged with 'hicular manslaughter, but Uncle Roy's rich rapper friends bailed him out. Can we have lunch?Vice Pope Doug

Hey, Mom! Bet you'll never guess what we managed to swipe from the Home Depot!bobo

We borrowed this from Scott Adams. Seems he only uses it when he goes to the bank.bobo

"Now that I'm the oldest son, can I have my own room?"Heath

Once more around the house, Dad! Keep those barf-bags coming, Mom!Riff

"No kiddin'--fresh fetuses? Stew tonight!"Larry Hastings

"If you care to look out the right side of the craft, you'll see that big skank-ass ho we call Mom. Passengers on the left side of the craft currently have a nice view of my surprisingly huge ass."Larry Hastings

MOM! Come quick! Charlie Brown's sewer's backed-up again!Timmy's Flat Rotting Colon

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