DFC #35

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

No, that's not our Mom. She left years ago. That just the maid Daddy's been screwing.anon

I love laundry day! Mommy says I don't have to wear any underwear!Matt Smith

Sure, the machine does the job faster, but I kinda miss chewing the stains out.Bob Schmalfeldt

Sorry we can't be friends any more, but my parents just joined the Republican party.Greg J

Watch, in a minute she'll get into the dryer. It's how she shrinks the pants on.RLW

A recurring character? Does the word "token" mean anything to you?Bill Hunter

No, they ALWAYS handcuff me enroute to the prison laundry, since the "lost eyeball" incident.Bill Hunter

Mom! I brought over a friend! Now let's make up stupid jokes about black slavery and poke at her color!anon

. . . then the water runs out so ya hafta breathe fast and hang on because then it starts to spin fast as hell . . .drvr911

She calls them guest sheets 'cause they're for the guys that visit while Daddy is at work!anon

...And on the last part of the tour, we see mommy's favorite ride!KissMyAsp

...and remember, she's more likey to hit ya, if she thinks you know she's drunk.Roxanne LeReaux

We lived in Chernobyl. Where are you from?Troll Ticket

--and Jenny said -- oh, wait, we're walking in front of the DFC panel. Um, "OK, Bitch, come upstairs so I can lay my dyke tongue on your twat." Anyway, like I was saying...anon

"I figured we'd find her in here. Seems like she spends half her day running laundry and leaning up against the washer."Blake

Don't wash behind your ears often, do ya?Lord G

"We don't let her wear pants. Keeps her from running away."anon

Your face is coming out nicely. A few more rounds in the washer with Clorox and we'll have you all white in no time!Trism

"and do you know what they put on their french fries on Holland? Mayonnaise! Yeah, they drown 'em in that shit."zed

She's been into that "Body-Paint Clothing" thing ever since Demi More did that Vanity Fair cover.Nethicus

Flesh-eating virus, huh? Bummer. ...say, that's not contagious, is it?Kurt L.

Billy! I don't care if this is a phase. And stop calling me "Homes"!RBByrnes

Bil must REALLY like you! He's used more ink drawing you in this one panel than he has on any of us all year!RBByrnes

Mom says that when I'm twelve, I can wear latex pants like hers!anon

Daddy says that when I can reach the washer, there will be no reason left to keep that bitch around anymore.Boschcat of the Apocalypse

No, you aren't the least bit stereotypical. Why do you ask?Hugh Jass

Betcha you can't move your mouth past your shoulders!BK

...so he takes her pants off and marks on her bare butt and hips with a magic marker. I know! Isn't that weird?!BK

I have to ask you - do your parents have necks? My Mom looks like a freakin' crane, but do I get any of that? Hell NO!BK

My mother will continue to do the wash, but you'll be expected to handle all of the ironing, of course.Craig

Don't be surprised if my mom seems shocked by your appearance; between living in the suburbs and being married to a devout Nazi, she's never seen a person of color before.Craig

On behalf of the entire Keane family, I'd like to apologize for my father failing to color in the anterior portion of your face - he had tickets to an afternoon Angels game.Craig

She's completely obsessed. Everything in this house has to be bright whi... Uh oh.Wha..?

If she didn't wash those sheets every day, they'd probably crawl out of Billy's bedroom on their own!wolf

Keep growing that afro, and maybe someday your head will be as big as mine!anon

No, the "wife" thing is just a cover. It's our little family secret.Rishmawy

...for the last time, I don't KNOW how she got my basketball-head through those hips, but I AM NOT adopted. Mom, back me up on this. Mom! Mom??BK

"Mommy said it's good manners to cover the corpse once you're done with it"jahpeace

You gotta wonder if Keane drew you in because he thought this would make a cute caption or if he needed to fulfill some kind of quota.Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar

I've brought Latwanda here so that she can see the kind of vicious, perverted, racist bastards we have to deal with on the 'Net.anon

And this is were you'll spend most of your time, until the exchange program ends, of course.anon

Slavery, schmavery . . . Look at this poor soul - 34, not a nickle to her name, and doin' our dirty duds day-in, day-out.anon

Dolly's mother was shocked to see her daughter befriending yet another sexually amorphous troglodite dyke.kafka

....so I says to her "Bitch, how many times do I have to tell you not to bleach a leather skirt!"kafka

My Mom says it's not considered tampering with evidence unless you get caught.DMW

I'm sure mommy will join in when we start playing nurse! And trust me, the things you heard about her tongue are true!John Longarrow

Sensing the woman's distraction, the blob made a break for the door. It would eat, one way or another. Or _two_ others.Felix W.

Do you want to come to tonight's chapter meeting? My mom's making our hoods and robes a sparkling, Aryan white.I.M. Me

Damn girl ! You got to shave them side burns !notorious phat

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