DFC #353

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"Get the shotgun, Ma! We're gonna eat meat tonight!"RipperJak

Hey mom! I think we should quit letting Kitty sleep in PJ's crib...Anonymous

Feline Rule #29: Don't steal any breath you can smell through the glass.Heath

Hell of a diorama, thought Kittycat. That taxidermist was worth every penny.Gen. Sedgwick

Wait a damn minute thought Barfy. If that's the real Kittycat, then who in God's name did I bury under the shed last night? RipperJak

Where's Billy the Litter Box Boy when you need him?NME--

A real threat? Nah, he's just stonewalling.Namgubed the Merry Elf

As Jeffy jabbered about the 'Silly Kitty', Kittycat was preoccupied stealing PJ's breath.Magus

All I'm saying is I think Dad's over reacting a little...how was I supposed to know that cats are bovine-lactose intolerant? Besides, he hardly ever wears those Gucci loafers anyway!Opie

All in all, they were all just pricks by the wall.Trevita

I found out where Kittycat was during that deep freeze we had last week!Ratman

Kittycat is trippin' on catnip in a frenzy of brick play!!Vice Pope Doug

Thel, bring the rope, No-Doz, and the Jack Daniels. The damn cat has PJ hypnotized again, and if we don't get ahold of him quick, we're gonna be missin' another dog!Rev. B

What a silly cat! Sill-y! Get it? Oh, c'mon, it can't be any lamer than... you mean it was Dad's original caption?Gen. Sedgwick

Kittycat's tryin' to tell us something... what? Good lord! Billy's trapped inside a well with Jamie Farr an' eleven Sumo ballet dancers?? - Oh, you're just hungry.Namgubed the Merry Elf

"I stalked them mercilessly. They looked out the window and I was there. They opened the door and I was there. They would never leave the house again! Revenge was mine!" - Excerpts from Fixed - A Life without a Gender by Kittycat KeaneDrummer

While Barfy is on vacation today's dog is being played by Daisy Bumstead.Gen. Sedgwick

"And I thought to myself, 'They look strange, but heck, any home is better than living on the street.' Time would show just how wrong I was..." -- Why Didn't Anyone Call the SPCA? by Kittycat Keanehangtownman

Sure she's cute, but I always wanted a Manx... Hey, got a knife?Gen. Sedgwick

"Kittycat had spawned some crazy fetish within Jeffy that was strange even for our family. It manifested itself by Jeffy dressing up like a priest and having spontaneous orgasms at the mere sight of the cat. Christ, it was spooky."--from, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, Fetishes Exposed ,by Dolly Keane-SchultzCoyote

"Damn, these process servers are slick! Out the back door, Bil, now!anon

This is just like bein' at the zoo, 'cept Daddy's not gettin' ejected for molesting the gorillas!nonentity

"What if the damn cat isn't even in the box anymore when we open it? What if it's outside? What does Schrodinger say about THAT, Mr. Know-It-All?"MadHamish

"Even at that young age, I knew what to do. I rammed my hand right through that plate glass window, grabbed the cat's throat, and squeezed. It was a good feeling." -- from Psycho Junkie: A Gonzo Childhood by PJ Keane.Shem

"When you stare long enough into an Abyssinian, the Abyssinian also looks into you."Friedrich Nietszche

Technically, it's called estrus. E-S-T-R-U-S. Look it up.Gen. Sedgwick

Here comes the Wilsons' pit bull from 'cross the road! This is gonna be awesome!!!Kurt L

"Check this out, Dad! We're bein' watched through a window in a circle in a frame on a monitor..."--The Dysfunctional Family Recursive Desscribe

Yes, officer, I'm certain of it now. It's definitely suspect number 2.bobo

I dunno what the hell it is -- but I'm feelin' very threatened here for some reason. Would someone please bring me a beer an' a tranq -- now.Vice Pope Doug

It's pretty cool. Billy fed it a tab of microdot. It's just sittin' there --- but it's also quoting verbatim from the I-Ching.Vice Pope Doug

It had cost KittyCat many hours and a burned paw to turn out the gas stove's pilot light, but it was well worth it to watch these idiots scamper and play as silent death began to fill the air .Paul Roub

"I don't understand -- his mouth is foaming and his eyes look wild and confused, but when Dad's like that, we let him in every time."phil

I'm sorry, this is NOT just like being at the zoo...you cheap bastards!R.J.M.

Uhhh, Mom, unless you get out here in a hurry it looks like we'll all be witness to the most twisted menage a trois of all time.me, myself, I

"Hey Mom, Kittycat's frozen to the window again, I call dibs on the spatula this time."bmg

See? Kittycat escaped, and now she's trying to get back in! Cats are stupider than dogs!Coalcracker

Unsure wether PJ had gotten into the catnip or Kittycat had gotten into the angel dust, Jeffy called for two syringes and his chemistry set...bmg

Kittycat watched the reinforcing rod rain down on them, and thanked God for construction companys that don't drug test.Crackhead Jonny

Where the hell are all these mottled stone walls coming from? Is dad drawing us in the homeless shelter again?Nethicus

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