DFC #38

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

We found Dolly's G-spot today. After dinner we're gonna look for spots H through Z!zazu

Mommy why are we having hamburgers? Daddy said he was going to choke the chicken.steven gustafson

Wow, real meat! I'm glad that crack dealer that accepted food stamps finally got busted!Greg J

...No, I'm sure. There's a very distinct aftertaste of stale almonds...Greg J

Wow, when you promised dinner and a show, I didn't expect this!J-rad

*phphTING!*Bill Hunter

Awww, Mom! Does Jeffy have to sit on his pot chair while we're eatin'?Rev. Oley

It was so cool! There were so many "Soylent Green" and "Mad Cow" jokes in there, the "stupid" bin just collapsed under its own weight!Pete B.

Amazing, Mom! Instead of wasting all those dumb captions by chucking them into the red area, you just cook em', slap two buns on em', and you've got an instant meal for the kids!anon

Shortly after the chainsaw incident, Billy became the center of attention by serving as the centerpiece for the dinnertable.Pastor of Muppets

Why does Mommy giggle every time Daddy says "Seasoned Beef"?Treb

Thank god! When you said we were going to eat grandma, I thought you meant something else.anon

Fuck, Mom! These burgers rock the fuckin' house.anon

Mom, we're BOTH gay. Why do you think I like the dolls and Dolly likes hangin' with Hilda?BK

Nuttin says lovin like Barfy from the oven!studly


Wow, I thought maybe Mommy was just kiddin' when she told us to go eat a shit sandwich, but hey, this stuff's not bad!anon

COOL! Kitty-Cat really DID explode! I thought that was just an urban legend!Kurt L.

Jeffy needs a booster-seat, 'cause daddy draws him like a freakish deformed midget!Kurt L.

I'm "Happy Stoned". Dolly's "Coma Stoned". Jeffy's just "Stoned". Whoa. VPD

Jeezus mom, this burger is well-done! I like 'em cold and pink jus' like my women.kakfa

Dolly couln't help but wonder why Billy had such a stupid grin on his face. Little did she know, at that moment Barfy was licking ketchup off of his balls!kakfa

Jesus, Mom, what's with all the fatty foods all the time? Look at us! Dolly and I look like the freakin' Campbell's Soup kids.Rich Coughlan

As Billy droned on about his inane 3rd grade experience, "what an asshole" kept running through Dolly's mind.anon

Clever of Bil to make the cockroach on the cabinet look like I'm spitting. Who says he doesn't know perspective?What? Me, worry? Yes.

Watch this, Dolly -- the loogies go farther when they've got burger spit in them.Kittycat

Mom, Dolly's gonna blow chunks again - get Barfy's bowl!anon

I feel like I'm in one of those commercials, where Mom tells us she stopped using Tastee Ketchup and we all complain until she says, "Relax! I'm now using New, Improved Tastee Ketchup" and we all chow down and pronounce it even better than the old stuff.Trism

Tell us again how they slaughter cows in Chicago, Mom!Trism

Sadly, Billy brought his untimely coma and eventual demise upon himself. Dolly had heard just one "levitating condiments" joke too many.patrik

Hell, for an inferior gender, you make one mean sandwhich, mom!Nethicus

"...so, anyway, John Lydon got even with these guys by shitting into a pan, deep-frying it,and serving it as corned beef! Isn't that funny?"Paul T. Riddell

Mom, Dolly can't show me her technique with a french fry. Oh wait, this was with Dad, wasn't it?jackson

Grampa's liver sure tastes good with these fava beans!jk

Who ever knew dog was this delicious?Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar

...and then we had sex education when our teacher and principal were caught doing it in the janitors closet. Bet they still don't know about the peep hole I drilled through my locker.Mark T

So I bet our teacher that you could swallow him whole. He'll be here soon. You'd better start workin on that pile of bananas, I got fifty bucks on you.Mark T

Another great meal, Mom. You're just a whiz with Soylent Green!Toozday

My favorite burgers, Dolly's fellating a french fry, and Mom's up against the sink slamming some guy. What a great birthday!Toozday

How come Dolly gets 'Alpo' and I'm stuck with this 'Spam' crap again?Boschcat of the Apocalypse

Holy Shit! You mean I can turn the icons off now?Boschcat of the Apocalypse

This burger is great! And I thought I would be sad when Grandma died!!anon

I think everything tastes better when Mom's cooking in the nude!Roy

There's nothing like Hamburger Helper after smokin' a big fatty!Vincent Van Gopher

Well, Christ, Billy. Anyone can spit into a cup from six inches away. You wanna impress us, spit backwards over your head into the Grey Poupon.zed

Dolly's gonna show us how she can tie a knot in a maraschino cherry stem.anon

Donuts - just like women - round 'n firm, with a fun-filled, creamy center!anon

Gee, Mom, I don't think Barfy tastes Barfy at ALL!Tiberius

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