DFC #394

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Whoa, he must be the John Holmes of the porcupine world!R.J.M.

So your saying this is where Bil got the idea for your neck? When do you change the hair?Ragnar the Hammer

Jeffy had heard the stories, but figured they were urban legends. His Electrolux castration brought blood, a newfound respect for the inherent viciousness of appliances, and future career as a castrati.Lloyd Dobler

Here we see the coming-of-age ritual among young Keane women. Dolly will sacrifice her virginity to the feather duster before adorning herself with its plumage to attract a mate. -- Wild Discovery: "Keanes"Lloyd Dobler (Caption Salvage Crew)

"But Dad went vogueing last night. Do you realize where that's been?Randall

"Oh, for Christ's sake! The kids in Peanuts don't clean, the kids in Bloom County didn't clean, so what's this? Get my fuckin' agent on the phone!"Ion1

Slide 394: Here we see one of the most important of rituals, the Passing of the Merkin. Regrettably the two males will have to be blinded for witnessing it.Orrin Bloquy

This really isn't that difficult, Thel. You hold it by the handle, in your hand. Say it with me, now...tgapds (rummaging through the yellow zone)

" I think we finally got Grandma's smell out of the furniture."Don Cabron

A feather duster? How the hell am I s'posed to mispronounce that?!Mr. Ben McClellan

Dammit, mom, you cleaned up that poop and now ... the tent's gone!Ken

Leave it to us to erase any evidence of Clinton's "visit"... and I suggest you take that dress to the cleaners, Ms. Lewinsky.NME--

Early posts on alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.cleaning.implements.Peon

Particularly unexciting scene from "When Feather Dusters Attack."scoob

"The she'd make us do all the housework, claiming credit for herself of course. We had to obey, what with her telescoping neck turret and remaining breast bomb. She'd gotten Billy with the first one." -- selection from Enslaved by a Space Alien War Robot: How We Finally Escaped, D. Keane, J. Keane, P.J. KeaneMr. Kontoontwon

You thought you could potty-train PJ , you clean it up!Gen. Sedgwick

Since seeing the new "Avengers" movie, Thel decided to wear the black leather cat suit at all times--even while doing house work.Col. Klink

Look, why this emphasis on cleaning? Haven't you ever heard of Photostop?Horselover Fat

Please tell me that's a white stripe down your dress and not an even more cruel objectification of impossible female body standards in the service of patriarchal social control.Horselover Fat

"Well, I didn't like Kittycat either, but I still don't think he deserved that."The Dog

Yeah yeah, we'll clean it up, but you gotta admit, that M-80 in Granpa's urn was pretty fuckin' spectacular.Mr Triscuits

Wow, first Mother's Little Helper, now this. I hate to tell you this, but I don't think two panels of cleaning activity will make up for 30 years of neglect -- at least not in the eyes of the Health Department.Coalcracker

Where's the other one? I can't do a fan dance for Daddy with just one fan! What will I use to tantalizingly cover up my hoo-hoos?Smokey

"Feather Duster of Doom, I command thee! Smite yon evil anorexic maiden."Torc

In his declining years, Bil's only enjoyment left was drawing Thel in new and twisted shapes and scaring the living fuck out of the kids.Lots42

"Frood on you, mate! Poop holds the vacuum wher it is! Whooooooa I'm trippin my nutsak in a frenzy of Uncle Roy's dik play! Hey! You've only got one breast! Look out! Javelins! YAHHHHHHHH!" Dolly Keane. Once a child star, now a mindless vegetable. Just one more lost soul who fell over the edge...into the Difficult Zone.Pete

"Why should I pull it? It's not your finger. What's the point?"Pete

"You won't believe your eyes as you gaze at Hoover Jeff, the boy with a vacume for a body. Thrill at Tight-Head Dolly, the girl who eats live ostrich babies. And our newest edition to the Family Cicus Freak Show, The Weasel Boy. Abandoned in the woods of New Hampshire, this young lad was raised by a family of weasels who he now rides."Monkey Punch

The cartoon that firmly established good old "Petroleum Jelly's" charactermyke

So what you're saying is, we spent all that money on a Kirby and we still have dust? That salesperson -- how cute was she?Gen. Sedgwick

"Cleaning is femme work. I'm gonna go work on my Harley."M

Is it really necessary to mop, vacuum, and dust the fucking carpet?Lt. Dan

You think YOU can wash the stench of failure and broken dreams out of this panel? Good luck!Lt. Dan

Jeffy vacuumed up the cat. I grabbed it by the tail but this is all I could dislodge. Buzz Lightbeer

Oh, no you don't! It's YOUR turn to be the butt of all the "bush" jokes. Mike Smith

Aha! It WAS Mrs. Keane in the living room with the feather duster! Mokohki-chan

Next on Theletubbies: Dolly-Wolly makes a duster out of Barney's stuffing.Heath

With shock and horror, Linus Van Pelt hides behind the vacuum watching that Keane kid defile his precious blanket.InZanadee

"Pull my feather duster?" P.J. thought. "I thought that joke was gone with the psychic ferns..."Mokohki-chan

Hey, You found my African princess Barbie!!The one and only Don C......nah it'll never make it

P.J. stared in wonder. How many more cleaning implements could Mommy draw out of Dolly's mouth?Lots42


The Psychic Chinese Food Take-Out Box sat, its senses blurred by cheap whiskey. Its time came and went long ago, and now its only comfort came in the knowledge that its miserable existance would soon end.Jamey 'Crisis' Powell

What am I supposed to do with that, decorate it for Christmas? It's bigger than I am, for crying out loud!Kurt L

Before her battle with Batman, Catwoman assigns the household choresHugh Jass

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