DFC #40

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Remember, men! For this special operation, we will use no real names! You'll be called "Spook", he'll be "Specs", and I'll be "Melon-Head".Riff

Man, NOBODY is gonna believe three kids armed with only a baseball bat could make off with an H-bomb core!Bill Fortier

"Oh, yeah, all these black jokes are real funny," thought Jamal. "Come on, just tell one more," he thought as he gripped the bat tighter.Greg J

Hey dad, look! It's Gary Coleman! ... yeah, I thought he was dead, too!Kurt L.

Rules, smules, those losers just can't stand a good ass kickin'!anon

I've got to take a crap like you would not believe! Never, I mean never drink a pot of coffee after eating shreded wheat!Boschcat of the Apocalypse

Mom! Break out the heroin! We're gonna PARTY!Boschcat of the Apocalypse

...an' after she trips over the soccer ball and impales herself on my pencil, you crush her skull with the baseball bat! It's just too perfect!Kurt L.

Sunny-D? Go fuck yourself. I'm gonna have a beer.Boschcat of the Apocalypse

Whew! Nothing like a good round of gay bashing to make you feel alive! Now, lets go watch that Pat Buchanan speech!Boschcat of the Apocalypse

Yeah, I guess being blasted from behind with a flame thrower *would* be pretty painful. You seem to be taking it rather well, though.Nitrolyte

No way! You been screwin' Dolly *too*? Man, she sure gets around!Nitrolyte

Hey Dad! Next time could you draw us with a little less homework and a little more 'action', if you know what I mean?Nitrolyte

No way! You been screwin' Jeffy *too*? Man, he sure gets around!Nitrolyte

Call the NAACP, cause if I'm not mistaken, my buddy's report card is addressed to 'Sambo.'Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar

Hey mom! What's for din. . .aw mom, not with the mailman again!Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar

Wow, the ACLU is gonna be real proud of dad with all the ethnic diversity in this cartoon!Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar

It took three of us, but I finally beat the hell out of that dotted line that keeps following me.Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar

Mom, we're going up to my room for an orgy! Don't wait up!J-rad

Nah, once I got past that "Affirmative Action" thing, having another brother was pretty cool!anon

OK, gang, the 'One-Notstil Club' is on the move...The Unmasked Revenger

OK, my little droogs, let's head to the milk bar before our night of ultraviolence.The Unmasked Revenger

This blackout is cool! Let's go loot the liquor store next!anon

Mom, I'm surrounded by freaks and I love it!Billy

Look who I found sleeping in out backyard! Can we keep them?Billy

"We met the new kids next door and explained the chain of command. They had some nice stuff, too."Tim Harrod

Mommy! Daddy! Look! We're not the only one-nostriled freaks in the world!ik

School was great mom! We learned all about racial stereotypes! Jamal here is going into professional sports, O'Hanrahan is going to get drunk and play soccer, while I get to maintain the White, Jeudeo-Christian Patriarchy!PbYaga

Okay, you hit Mom on the head with the bat and then you can each have your way with her for $20. On second thought, she'll probably do it without hte concussion.Meli O'Girl

"Yo! A little lemonade for my ethnically diverse, athletically inclined friends!"Tim Harrod

We here at DFC believe that dorkiness can transcend racial barriers.Lord G

The old man at the sporting goods store never knew what hit him! It was just BLAM! BLAM! and his ass dropped like a rock!anon

Hey Mom, today they started bussing in kids from the "other" side of the comics page!Rich Coughlan

"Ya know guys, coming out of the closet together lifted such a load off my shoulders, I just want to go out and buy something pretty!"anon

Billy was dumber than hell, and he was usually riding a gnarly cocktail of uppers and halucenogens, which didn't help one bit. I vividly remember the time he and some of his buddies got really wacked-out, decided they were a gang, stole some sports equipment from props, and challenged some neighborhood crack dealers to a "rumble". Post-production had to edit out the scars on his face for the next six months. -- Dolly, _Memoirs_Pete B. (Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Felix. ;] )

I'm warning you right now, my report card's all D's, but one word out of you and my main man Marno smacks you upside the dome for a home run.Trism

So how come Bugs is always munching a carrot? You never see him reaching into his drawers for a handful of pellets...Reynard D. Fox

Check it out, Mom! We're the 'uno nostrelo' gang!anon

Hey, dad! There guys say they're my brothers! Don't you ever use a rubber?Anon of Ibid

School was great today. Joey got to smash bigots with his batanon

Three guys walk into a bar, a Negro, a WASP and a Jew...Juke

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