DFC #434

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"I dunno how you switched her legs like that, but you are one brilliant surgeon!"Heath

Wait a second! The cat's still alive... so what the hell was Bil trying to get down the garbage disposal?Robbbbb

"See, cat stays. Sup not on pussy at Stacee's" -dust jacket blurb from The DFC's Greatest Palindromes, Sexual Innuendos and Chinese Take-Out Menu DisclaimersSean Q (see what insomnia does to a mind?)

"She may act haughty now but she'll be back. She wants it. They all do!"hangtownman

If I could lick my own asshole that clean, I'd show it off, too.Andrea

Taunt me all you want-- mom can't confiscate ALL my firecrackers!Andrea

Check it out. His tail comes up to our noses. Are we stubby little fuckers or what?Nasty Ned

Even when he was off-duty, Drill Sgt. K. Cat maintained the self-control that struck awe into the hearts of the Privates.Golfhaus

"I got Bil to draw three versions of this cartoon so I could make Kittycat do that 'Cha-Cha-Cha' thing!"Eric the Black

"Sawed-off broom handles work best, but that special attentive posture can be approximated using wire hangers or 'invisible string' attached to a hook on the ceiling." -- Billy "Vila" Keane, This Old TaxidermistStealth

"Man, Barfy's one helluva fluffer, eh?"Stealth

"Better hide your clothes -- Mom's on a starching binge again."Mr. Kontoontwon

I had the perfect tenth anniversary gift picked out for Bil and Thel until Billy overheard me and started blabbing to everyone about a "cat with nine tails." So I got them a set of serving spoons instead. -- Roy W. Keane, Uncle is Not a SafewordKen

Uh-oh! Someone gave the cat Viagra! --The inevitable result when Bil's unexpected "vacation" forced Cowles syndicate to turn to Jay Leno's writersGerald's Better Half

Hey! I think I see your science project!Mr. ?

Quick grab your golf clubs, the toilet's free again.Yakko

"He craps in the sandbox, sprays all over the house, ate the neighbors parrot , and, worst of all, he NEVER feeds the cat !!"Rodney (badda-bing)

Y'know, in most families, "looking like the cat who got the cream" is a good thing...Gen. Sedgwick

She's been walking around like that for 9 hours. When the tail starts to droop again, I'm gonna give 'er another cc of dexedrine and see if Guinness keeps records on this shit.phil

Thanks to persistent budget cuts, the Empress was getting more and more embarassed every time she inspected her nation's once-mighty army.Gerald's Better Half

"So now KittyCat's got orange 'n black stripes. If he goes for Mom's lasagna, then I think that Mr. 'Writer's Block' over there had better give his lawyer a jingle." Hang Lose

Yo! Moonwalk! You go girl!Zonkers

Say, I just thought of something: "pussy" is another word for for cat and Jeffy.Octophile

"You get the catapult, and I'll get the smallpox. Then we'll show those idiots in The Wizard of Id what a real siege is like!"Helder

"See Jeffy, that's how to look aloof and arrogant when you walk across the panel. You, on the other hand, just look constipated."Helder

"Hey, now that's a nice piece of clip art! I bet dad was able to start boozing a whole hour earlier than usual."Helder

"Yep, she's got cat class and she's got cat style. I say we skin the stuck-up little bitch."Pete

"See that goiter, Jeffy? Damn near ready for harvest!"grobnious

"Git th' saddle, Luke! Ol' Paint is ready tuh ride!"anon

Keeping her ONE good eye on the sinister Billy and Jeff, KittyCat quickly backs out of the scene...The eyeearandthroat doctor

"You see, Jeffy? Even after you went to all the trouble of installing the subcutaneous antigravity generators, the stiffened tail is not nearly broad enough to be an effective rudder. It's all about control surfaces... You try riding that cat, you're going to be flying into the walls half the time."Mycroft

"Well, that still doesn't solve our debate. Either your growth ray worked, or my shrinking ray worked."Magus

"Yeah, baby! Wooo! WOOOO!" Most anything could qualify as erotic dance in the Keane household.me, myself, I

'When cat's tail is held high and proud, Uncle Roy is coming out. When cat's tail is sad and low, Bil is snorting quality blow.'agm

Billy was just about to speak, when Kittycat's claw pierced the edge of the panel. With a loud pop, the Family Circus lay in ruins, crumpled on the floor.Heath

"Looks like we're right on schedule for Thanksgiving."Helder

"Man, I sure could go for some of that beaver! No, wait, CUT! I can get this." -- from The Illustrated Guide to DFC Bloopershangtownman

Remarkably, the anti-gravity effects upon Kittycat were maintained even after the buttery toast was removed. After these findings were published in Nature, Jeffy became an overnight success in the physics world - and rose to the top of PETA's hitlist. - from The Anthology of Ludicrous Breakthroughs, Simon & Schuster, Los Angeles, 1999.Daniel M. Laenker

"Yep, this here's ol' Tabby, our best dowser - like, right now, you can pretty much guess where the second-floor toilet is!"anon

If you've seen one floating 80lb cat, you've seen them all.Mr. ?

"It's been like that for three days. God, I love liquid nitrogen!"Orbo

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