DFC #44

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"This bionic eye sucks," Jeffy thought. "It doesn't even make that doot-doot-doot-doot noise when I use it. Cheap government shit!"zed

No, dear, if you were anorexic, you'd be all skin and bones. The word you're thinking of is anamorphic.Roy (educating and entertaining)

Sweetheart, of COURSE you're as pretty as Kate Moss!B.

Damn it, Dolly!! Flesh eating bacteria is SERIOUS!!Vanpool

Here's your new adopted sister. Try and leave the skin on this one, Jeffrey.willy

You gave him HOW many tabs?anon

Jesus! Look at those legs! Ever heard of a Thighmaster?ChapStick

So that's why we're so short. We're missing several thoracic vertabrae.RLW

Focus, Jeffy! You must visualize the disruption of her chi patterns for the Dim Mak to work!Greg J

Forever practicing his new hobby - taxidermy, Jeffy speculated on how he would position his sister's skeleton before he reapplied the skin and stuffed it.Ms. Impossible At Your Service

Next time you touch my dope I'll rip the flesh off your bones and serve it for lunch.anon

You remember that experimental Kirilian film that shows your deepest fantasies? Try to think of where you saw it last! We've got to find it before that horrible DFC crowd does, or our reputation is doomed!Greg J

...and a THICK skull it is!!BK

Oops, too far. Rewinding...rewinding...stop! Theeeere. That bedroom door is little match for this imagination - I can see you naked any time I want.BK

Wow - Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly really DOES go clear to the bone!rlogin

Jeffrey Dahmer Keane! Look at me when I'm talking to you!Paul Roub

Jeffy's obsession with a skinless Dolly had finally begun to encroach on the world outside the panel.Capt. phealy

As the old lady droned on, all I could think of was Dolly's liver, some fava beans and a nice bottle of Chianti.anon

Bones? I always thought she was full of shit!RustyN

Sorry, we can't buy any more food until your father finds another job. We're just going to have to make some sacrifices as a family and...Jeffy? Are you listening to me?Pastor of Muppets

...and you let Jeffy eat ALL the mushrooms? Didn't you save me ANY?paTRICK heSTER

But what I really want to know, is why in the hell your brother has a balloon over his head with your skeleton in it!kafka

"Yes, Jeffy, Dolly has had hundreds of bones inside her at one time or another."Tim Harrod

No, not "bones," _boner_ . . as in "you put your _boner_ in your sister."anon

You know, this whimsical-misinterpretation-of-what-Mommy-says shtick is getting really lame.DMW

Jeffy began to wonder why Dolly had "child bearing hips" at the age of five.jimkata

Jeffy, stop trying to turn your sister into a member of your unholy legions of the undead!Rich Coughlan

"Soon..." Jeffy thought. "Soon my powers will have developed, and I'll be able to flay the living flesh from Dolly's body, leaving her as nothing but a bundle of wet, glistening muscles with a pony tail."zed

Jeffy, I'm going to pop open the access panel on the top of Dolly's head. Since this is your first attempt at repairing her, you may wish to refer to your internal schematics and diagnostics file before doing anything with her positronic network.zed

Jeffy's unusual mutant powers let him see through skin, but Dolly's hair was impenetrable.Amber Dowlin

After hours of Mom's inspired ranting, Jeffy was STILL unable to picture Dolly's melon-headed skull.Boschcat of the Apocalypse

"Now Billy, remember that in Jeet Kune Do, you must *visualize* the spine before delivering the crippling blow..."The Sandman

"Y'know", Billy thought, "that anatomy class has really fucked my sense of sexual fantasy..."Zenmaster

Years later, Jeffy would wonder if Dolly's extensive chemotherapy was in any way connected to his childhood habit of using his xray vision to try and see her underpants.MechaGumby

Because transparent skin would make Bil's weak drawing style even MORE apparent, that's why!anon

What the...? Those are rudimentary cervical vertebrae! Dolly really IS the Lindbergh baby!Zooboy

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