DFC #472

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

So, Thel, what do you feel you would bring to the lesbian community?Bill

Horoscope for Aries, Jun 24, 2028: You will answer a classified ad placed by two GWF looking for a "hot threesome," only to find that they are your own sons. Bad day for long trips, financial decisions.L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg

How odd...she never has a second cup at the Leather Womyn's Retreat...L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg

Thel's Gutterslut Sense detects trouble at City Hall. But how to get away without revealing her secret identity?L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg

Well, I don't know about your home, Thelma, but where I was born in Connecticut, a gentlemen leaves his used condom in an ashtray.Chutney

Oh, did I say "insatiable paraphile with a taste for discipline and anonymous sex?" I meant "loving housewife and mother of four."L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg

"Oh my, did I just say 'God I want to fist you both' out loud, or only think it?"spun

Whoops! The table's vibrating. I better set it on low....Bad Girl

"I've got four wonderful kids -- 'course, they grew up and moved away before I met Bil."Heath

"Actually, Bil here's not the only one who brought back a souvenir from Sweden."Heath

"...Yes. Yes, I'm quite certain I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that yellow sack, Sheila."M

Tension rose. Both Thel and Wendy had their fingers on the triggers of their .45's. It would only a matter of time before one of them would walk away while the other would be carried out by the paramedics.Valvoline

Thel giggled in spite of herself. After a few beers, Bil always looked like the woman she'd always dreamed of, but his mom was too hot for words!--Tice

"Looks just like my husband? (Tee hee!) Whatever would make you think such a thing, Gladys?"Stan Xhiao

"Oh, I'm doing it again? Goodness... mmmmpppHH! It's just that you get me, you know, hot."Stan Xhiao

"One boob, two boob. Green boob, red boob. Three boob, uh, three boob... damn." --First draft, unpublished work, Geisel and Keane.Stan Xhiao

Thel couldn't quite put her finger on it... Something was wrong of this meeting of the CMYK Sisterhood...Bill

"First of all, Velma, when the doctor asks for a urine sample, he wants your urine. Second, and mind you it's lunchtime. . ."Heath [stolen from Chutney]

"I just realized that Bil has that exact same dress in his closet."Helder

Three noodles, a flattened heel off a loaf of French bread, and a small pitcher of Mahatma Gandhi's drink of choice... this was Keane's way of reinforcing his mandate that women should not leave the house.Stan Xhiao

Mrs. Green, Madame Mustard, I have it on good authority that our significant others are suspected of a murder. However, if we work together, I've got an idea that can frame that Peacock bitch.Ken

The strychnine soon took effect as intended. Although Thel was never implicated for the murders of Ida Knowles and Nottie Meehan, the killings would haunt her for years.Ken

"Yes, thank you. And I'll also have a little 'A' !" Before they'd arrived, Thel had gotten drunk again.Bad Girl

Bil makes you do what?!?!Captain Pedantic

Left to right: Speak no evil. See no evil. My god, I'm looking at evil.Merlisk

"My God! Whose foot is that?"Tick

"Bil just started me on the Mach 3, and my (ahem) 'kitty' has never been smoother. Mmm."The Golden Pony

In another caption-swapping mixup, this cartoon was given "Of course not, Gladys. Surely you must know I would only kill and devour my own husband?", while Gary Larson's Far Side showed two praying mantises in glasses and beehive wigs with the caption "Well, I guess we ARE soccer moms after all, aren't we?"Platypus

...and with its full insertion, Hilda and Gerdie were out another $5.M

Thel impressed her fellow dieters with a meal of a complimentary toothpick and stirring straw.El Caballero (as inspired by Heath)

The Stepford Wives got together for an oil change and to have their tits rotatedArgyle

"When shall we three meet again/In thunder, lightning, or in rain/Sister sluts from yonder gutter/Somebody please pass the butter..."Gen. Sedgwick

[voiceover:] "Nothin' says lovin' like something from the coven/And Thelsbury says it best."Gen. Sedgwick

hee...hee..hee..hee....'cuse me... today's Doodie.com really cracked me up!Kevy

As Dolly collapsed behind me, I mustered up enough strength to chisel some of the frost off the cafe window. Thel was inside, giggling, and counting on the cold to do its work. However, she didn't count on Jim Rose rescuing me just in the nick of time... From Solid as a Stump: the True Story of Jeffie the Seal-boy, Harper-Collins Press, 1999, 320pp. ill.semillama

The Three Fates: Unclotho, Lackatit and AndropussKen

As word quickly spread, membership sharply increased for Thel's brainchild, The Last Wives' Club.Namgubed the Merry Elf

Thel was still embarrassed about clawing off Betty's designer frock, but Betty had come to lunch prepared. Thank heavens for Liquid Dress!Vinegar Tom

Another beautifully delineated illustration from the well-loved children's classic, "Find John Lithgow."Vinegar Tom

"Omigosh. Did I leave the vibrator on?"Helder

Oh dear! So that's what normal sex is like.Mr. ?

"Well, it depends on what you mean by 'polygamy'."Bad Girl

I know the severed head on a plate is good here... in fact, I'm way ahead of you.Horselover Fat

"I'm so sorry about that...the thorazine still makes me a little nauseous. Did I miss your shoe?"The Phantom Piddler

"Yes, of course, you have it rough, but don't forget -- MY husband draws 'Garfield.'"tinwhistle

Of course Bil only has eyes for me. I mean, look at the other women he draws.Ken

"You divorced your husband for that? Hell, I've caught Bil doing worse, and that was with livestock."Helder

"Oh darn, I have forgotten my wallet. How shall I pay my share of the bill?" "Cut the crap, Thel. Just hurry up and bang the waiter like you usually do. I'm late for my hair appointment."Helder

"And once I figured out what to do with the bodies, the rest was easy!"Heath

Just look on the bright side. If he's sleeping with the kids, then he's NOT sleeping with you.Argyle

"That was your husband I slept with? Oh well, look on the bright side: Now he has half a clue about what he's doing."Helder

"Left hand green!" said Becky, smiling. Thel hated playing Twister at the restaurant.The Phantom Piddler

Equipped with only a "light days" panty liner, Thel knew she was in trouble. Already a small pack of dogs had gathered under the table.Vinegar Tom

With Rachel and her precious blue dress out of the way, Linda was able to edge ever closer to acceptance in the Primary Color Society.M

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