DFC #494

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"Mom, this bald guy's claimin' 'ternity rights to PJ! Please tell me I wasn't Dad's either! Pleeeeaaaaasssee!"Riff

"Mommy! Daddy's trying to sell me for heroin, again!"anon

"Dude's so blunted he's sayin' I got no figure. Lay down some science on the fool, Thel." Crazy Climber

"How could he? I've spent weeks setting up this deal, and Bil blew it all before we even got to the dinner table!"Schol-R-LEA

"I couldn't help myself! Just look at the shape of his noggin!"JJ

"But mom, he's smoking tobacco!"Heath

"Dammit, I told you I don't do that cigar trick for strangers anymore!"Torc.

Jesus! No wonder Morey Amsterdam always picked on this dillweed!HasNoName

No, Dysfunctional Random Stranger just doesn't inspire me. Send him home.Hugh Jass

They want me to do a table dance.Les Miserables

"OK, there's people more hideous than us, but dammit Mom, now I'm gonna have nightmares for a month."Torc.

Maaaaa! Earl Wilson's tokin' all the reefer again! Make 'im stop!!Mr. Ben McClellan

"What kind of moron gets the knob-slobberin' of his life and asks for change back from a twenty?"semillama

MOM, do I hafta marry him? God I hate being a fucking mormon!lucynations

"You invited the Shriners over again?!?"Torc.

Poor Billy. I hope more people come to MY wake.Lucifer Antichrist

But what if I need my second kidney?Bad Girl

Dammit! When dad promised to take me to "Mt. Baldy".....K-Man and Bad Girl

"Look what that bastard did to my legs. Next time, Bil can pay off his own gambling debts."Helder

"He's already smoking, and I didn't even get his pants off yet. Where'd you find this loser?"Helder

Young Cathy.Bad Girl

"I didn't object to the Dollar-Store school supplies. The 'Fonzie' bookbag from Big Lots. I even let you buy me Keds! But I am not taking that to the Kindergarten Prom!"Heath

"Holy shit. I thought 'dickhead' was just an expression."Helder

"The puzzles were fun, and the inkblots were okay, but now he's asking me questions and I'm startin' to remember stuff."Galahad

"How the hell am I supposed to be a friggin' geisha girl if I can't perform a decent tea ceremony?"RipperJak

"Ugh, jeez, he hugged me! Where do you keep the ammonia and the beltsander?"Torc.

"But Skinner's my principal, not Weatherbee!"Heath

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