DFC #53

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Gee, Mom, do you really think Billy and Jeffy will really go for my new "pantless" look?Tazabby

Gee, this is a new experience for me. Nobody has ever driven me home before without first making me "put out"!RBByrnes

I feel flighty and girlish and lighter than air. This Xanax _rocks_, Mommy!Vice Pope Doug

Mom, I *told* you not to put "crack whore" on your resume.J.J.J. Schmidt

haha!those saps at supermart are just ASKING to get robbed,aren't they?spazzamajazz

Let's drive by the Pussycat theatre again, and blow our horn and wave when Daddy comes back out!Frenchy, the toad swallower

Thanks for running down that Thompson girl Mom. I owe you one.MechaGumby

That was fun, but I still prefer driving with Dad. It's doing wonders for my vocabulary.MechaGumby

Ah...another successful venture into the inner city for our essential dope supply. MechaGumby

Hey Mom, is my new garter belt clean? Billy says that sex between us is gettin' old.The Squid

"I like it when you hold the door for me Mommy, 'cause it's like you're my servant. And maybe someday you will be."Brian Raiter

Look, I have a halo and I'm floating in the air! How much more proof do you need that I'm an angel sent back to earth?His Imperial Majesty

That's odd, when Daddy gives the cop a blow job, he still gets a ticket.The Unmasked Revenger

I meant to ask before we left. What possessed you to wear a bathrobe and fuzzy slippers with your turtle-neck to Kroger?Roxanne LeReaux

Where the hell is Bil? You can't tell me he's still drawin' the strip. There's more detail in this panel than we've ever seen.Roxanne LeReaux

Wait, Mommy! You forgot your beer!anon

...and as Mrs. Keane turned around to shut the door, she realized that that car hadn't been trying to run her off the road. It had been trying to warn her...Greg J

Mommy, why does Bill always draw you with such ripe, voluptuous breasts?polaris

This isn't that joke where you crush my femur in the car door again, is it?polaris

The grocer's packing meat in more ways than one, huh Mom!danny boy

Thank you, Marie. Now hurry upstairs and prepare my douche and aromatherapy bath.Capt. phealy

I know Dad bought a Trabant cuz they're cheap to fix, but as long as you're replacing the door how 'bout buying a passenger seat? zed

Sure you can; here're the keys. But by God, if you leave that "TLC" crap in the tapedeck again, I'll kick your ass.Craig

Well, I wanted to find out if that story about Spanish Fly was true, but our car has automatic transmission.Craig

So, mom, has the phrase "bat outta hell" been mentioned yet about your driving?Nethicus

Mommy, why do we always bury the bodies in the same place?Nate

I'm just saying, what will we do if Billy DOES find his way back home?Greg J

Another Bil-bender, Mom. There is no way that door could ever possibly close.zapper

Gee Mom, you were right, that female strip club WAS fun!KissMyAsp

Oh, fer Christ's sake, Bil, it's raining in the garage again.Hans

Look Mom! All the shadows are going in the same direction. Did they bring in a temp?anon

Why do you have all those accessories? Leroy said this would only be a dancing giganon

Not bad driving for a bitch who's drunker'n Cooter Brown, Mommy!Mr.PI

"Hell, it's no wonder that the engine seized up! Look at all the oil on the driveway, ferchrissakes!"Mister Sinister

Gravity failing! Car spontaneously disassembling! Garage door dissolving at the edges! Who says they don't make acid like they used to?paTRICK heSTER

She shimmies a bit once you hit 120 mph, and I'd like Bil to tighten the steering just a bit, but other than that, she's running perfect. All yours.Pete B.

Too bad we missed that Suzie Derkins bitch, but did you see how she crapped her pants when we started shooting?Wedge

Defense exhibit 42-A -- snapshot taken by Bil Keane, husband of defendant. Note that Mrs. Keane can clearly see that both her daughter's right foot and right thumb are not clear of the car door, a direct contradiction of the defense's claim. This picture was instrumental in Mrs. Keane's conviction for child abuse and reckless endangerment, later overturned on appeal.Pete B.

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