DFC #58

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Can I keep him, Mommy? His penis likes me!Jimbo

Gee, I don't know whether I should make the bestiality joke or the lesbain joke...anon

There's a girl here selling huge chocolate dogs. I'll tell her that we only want the edible underwear. Klieg

Before you answer my question about whether or not we can keep this dog, let me remind you that a certain father might be very interested in certain candid photographs of a certain mother and a certain postman...Greg J

Barfy has survived the Ordeal of Flame! He is the Chosen One! All must kneel!Greg J

Come on Billy, I'm gonna throw raw meat on the freeway for Marla's seeing eye dog.Monk n Treb

Mom, Sally shit all over the dog again!T. Paper

He's _very_ friendly! That's why Billy's washin' his hair right now ........VPD

Sally is really enjoying Fido's wagging tail. Who's next?Jon Davidson

If this strip spent a week talking about your new hairstyle, it sure as hell can tell the story of Barfy's plunge in Greecian Formula. DMW

We've been feeding Barfy soul food and malt liquor. Now look at him.Rich Coughlan

Sure he's a dog, but he's hung like a horse!zazu

Hey Dad,we found that dog that bit my fingers off!Rich Coughlan

I hope you have Mr. Farnezi's money. Cause if you say you don't Janey here might get upset and might "accidently" let go of the leash. And well ol' Clancy here has been known to chew off a guy's manhood. If you catch my meaning.Rich Coughlan

Janey's mom is too cheap to pay a vet's bill so we're gonna neuter him ourselves.Rich Coughlan

With this new pit bull, daddy's customers will feel just like they're in an inner city crack house.Rich Coughlan

You know what I love about our house? Every time the front door appears in a cartoon, it's open in a different direction. In fact, it's usually a completely different door.Rich Coughlan

He's perfect, Mom! We'll name him "Token".anon

And as soon as Thor shits out the balloons, we cut the smack and sell it out in front of the nudie bar for a cool 300% profit!Bozo

"And he doesn't even mind if you shove your hand way up his ass!"anon

Oh, don't be such a prude...they'll pay top dollar for this act in Bangkok!Diggit

When you pet him on the lower belly, a thermometer pops out to tell you he's done!Stu

The dog was black as night, a rich ebony that radiated strength, ferocity and an almost palpable sense of...evil. It was this dog, surely, that had been eating the neighborhood children one at a time, to the puzzlement of the local police. And to make matters worse, it appeared to be being walked by a young version of Ellen DeGeneres.zed

There's some blind girl here who wants to know if this is the Gateway to Hell. Do we have a Gateway to Hell? In the basement? Oh. Okay.zed

Care to explain that 'butt-ugly pint-size dyke' comment now that Hilda and Ripper are here?Horselover Fat

We've been starving this dog for days, Mr. Keane. Now tell us where the trust fund is and we'll remove the pork chop from your neck.anon

Daddy, we need to borrow the hacksaw for an hour or so.J.J.J. Schmidt

The tag says "Cerebrus", but there's no address. Can we keep it?J.J.J. Schmidt

We found him eating a dead homeless guy in the park. Can we keep him?anon

It's a myth. See mommy, he's black and his johnson ain't so big.Rishmawy

Watch Daddy. I can take this dog out with a good solid uppercut.Rishmawy

Bestiality jokes delivered to your door! Isn't the DFC just GREAT?Bill Fortier

A little black spray paint, and now Barfy can take advantage of the affirmative action quotas at the next dog show. Pretty clever, eh, Mom?The Lawyer

Gee, Daddy, you like black hookers. Why shouldn't Barfy get a shot?The Lawyer

Quick Mommy, get the hose, that foreign exchange kid from Greece got stuck in Barfy again! Nebish

Mommy! Sandra's here - we're gonna go outside and play "Madonna"Geoff

Hey, Dad! Look what followed me home, can we keep her?!? OK, if I get rid of the dog, can we keep her?The Unmasked Revenger

Daddy, Sue's dog just jumped on top of her and started to...well, I think she's upset.Explicit

Good news! Fido here just shat Jeffy's remains out on the lawn!Kittycat

"Mom, Moppsy's ready to be mounted by your lovin' thighs now!" Matthew Best

Hey Thel, get the K-Y ready! Pammy brought over tonight's mystery date!ZooBoy

We figured the girl we have locked up in the basement would enjoy the company!--Tom

Mommy, your wish came true! There's a big, black stud with a long tongue at the door!Mr.PI

And you shudda seen him shake the crap outa PJ!Mikael Behrens

Look Daddy! I found out what's been sucking up our shadows!Chapstick

No, Daddy, it's a Labrador, not a "Negro Demon Dog." Put the rope down.Medication

Check it out! A seeing eye dog without eyes! No wonder Jane can't find her house. ..Tazabby

Back to the DFC Archive index