DFC #64

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Since that lightning strike destroyed the TV speaker, Thel felt that drawing lines on the wall would suffice for sound from now on.Jadie

The only thing PJ had learned from watching the Faith & Values channel was how to mindlessly follow.Keef

The televangelist had fulfilled his part of the deal. He had suspended seven knitting needles floating above the television set; now P.J. would have to kill his mother.anon

PJ was shocked to discover that Dad's treasure map led to Mom's big butt!Mr. Clean

In this surveillance video, we can see how those whose souls have been given to the Old Ones will avoid even the televised images of Christianity.anon

From the start the family could tell that PJ was going to be an "Ass"-man.RBByrnes

Desired welled up in young PJ's loins. But, being so short...he knew he would have to settle for doing what Barfy always did and just hump her leg.RBByrnes

After a funeral service consisting of watching a televangelist, Mommy and P.J. took Jeffy's body out to the back yard and buried it privately.anon

Yadda yadda God...yadda yadda Jesus...(kill her with your bare hands, PJ)...yadda yadda yadda goodwill offering... Zenmaster

One of the best ways to train the A.D.D. afflicated child, is to trace a dashed line across the path you wish him to follow. -- Excerpt From: "Why is My Child so Freaking Dim?" by Rey Dillonkafka

We've secretly switched the Playboy channel at the Keane home with the 700 Club. Let's see what happens.DMW

...and thou who use the DFC and maketh rude comments shall be consigned to the depths of hell. Amen.DMW

Mommy, when can I get back the big kid clothes I had in the last cartoon?ZooBoy

PJ was confused. Some days his house was a rancher while others, the bedrooms were upstairs.Rich Coughlan

From high above the earth the alien scouts watched, their fleshy, inhuman faces contorting into grotesque parodies of a smile. The Keane woman had performed her task well, drawing their radmium-based dotted line -- visible on sensors from a high orbit -- across the United States. Now, they needed simply to add the words "Cut Here" and await the arrival of the main fleet.zeddependance day

Say, Mom? If it's Sunday, why the fuck aren't we in color?Riff

Whenever mom got weaving, bobbing drunk like this, PJ took it upon himself to follow her around. He wouldn't be able to catch her when she fell, but at least he knew how to call 911 when her head nailed the coffee table.Diggit

She is the Incubus!! KILL HER!!! KILL HER NOW!!anon

There walked a tortured PJ, enthralled by the undulating, hypnotic swaying of his mother's firm, fleshy buttocks and her ample, swaying breasts. Alas, his desire to throw her to the floor and have her make him a man was being compromised by the rantings of a TV Evangelist. zazu

Do your troubles follow you wherever you go? Turn to the kingdom of God!Westur the Unspeakable

"Hey, wise-ass. Excuse me, Mrs. Take-Your-Shoes-Off-Before-Coming-In, you're tracking lines on the carpet."Don Spudleone

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