DFC #71

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

The last thing Jeffy saw was Reverend Parker, drunk, weilding his double-barrelled shotgun, and saying, "Get ready for an old-fashioned exorcism, Satan!"Nethicus

...Then they slapped this toddler mask on me and gave me this bag of candy. So I just burned their souls. I decided to keep the mask & candy, though.Luke "FLuke" Manning

C'mon, man, put on your skeleton costume! We gotta get to the church before all the old farts leave! We'll miss the ones with heart problems!Luke "FLuke" Manning

"Will smite for candy"Luke "FLuke" Manning

I wonder if this is how Gene Simmons got his start?gaia

"I think I could score more candy if we sharpened up these tines a bit."Blake

"Wow, lady. If it's all the same to you, I think I'd rather have a trick."Blake

"Well what the hell was I supposed to do? The damn thing doesn't have a zipper, and I had to go!"Blake

Mom? Um... I kinda banished PJ to a lake of burning brimstone, and I can't get him back. Am I in trouble?anon

Are you sure we don't have a trident? I'm NOT going trick-or-treating with a fuckin' Garden Weasel!Dark Roger

Oh, come on, Mom! I didn't have a chance in that line up! I mean, how difficult was it for that seventy-year-old woman to pick me out? "Yeah, the little boy in the devil costume, he's the one who chased my cat all over my yard threatening to stab him with that fake novelty pitchfork!"Mojo Bohrovski

Gee, I'd trade this whole bag of candy to be the REAL Son of Lucifer.Nick

I got 5 candy bars, an apple, and a modeling job for a BSD unix promotion.anon

And then suddenly, as colors blazed into animated dances of light and his senses expanded in new, unexplored directions, Billy realized that it hadn't been just a sheet of candy dots at all...zed who?

"Satan Man, Satan Man, does anything that Satan can. Eternal damnation -- that's his plan -- Satan Man, Satan Man."zed who?

"Goddamn it, mom! I said PIMP! Not IMP! Suzy and Becky are gonna look pretty fuckin' stupid now, aren't they?"zed who?

What do you mean, I can't say 'Damn your souls to Hell for eternity or treat!'?The Outsider

What's all this "Get thee behind me" crap?Capt. phealy

"Greeeeeeeen Acres is the place to be,. . . "Capt. phealy

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm a horny little devil. Now give me the fucking candy!zazu

His eyes opened wide in amazement, as he saw how great Billy looked in his hooker costume.anon

Great, just fuckin' great. I'm 5 years old, the old man strangles me during a "Nam flashback, I never did shit but I end up in Hell anyway...and I STILL don't have a penis.chas

KEANE!! The sow is MINE! growl-growl Your mother sucks cock in hell snarl --PUKE--RETSeh KCIRTap

In this panel we prove that looking at the Family Circus backwards reveals hidden satanic messages. Next slide, please...ferret

. . . and so Billy said I was full of shit, and that nobody really puts razor blades in candy and I was just being a pussy, and so I dared him to prove it, and so he took a bite of the apple, and . . . well, you should probably call an ambulance. Now.Pete B.

Jeffy stared in the mirror, awestruck. The costume covered the bizarre set of lumps on his head perfectly, and he imagined, for a few brief, precious moments, that he was normal.Pete B.

Make up your mind! Am I Satan or King Neptune?!Rishmawy

Now that the CDA has been declared unconstitutional, I feel safe in telling you that I think this costume bites horse dicks.The Lawyer

After that religious program a few panels back, the Dark One demanded equal time.DMW

Trick or treat for Church of Satan!anon

I'm going frog giggin'. Why do you ask?Bill Fortier

"So here's the deal, Bil. In exchange for your eternal soul, you can have one of two wishes: Either you can be an extraordinarily talented fine artist, but languish unknown, unrecognized in poverty until after your death, or you can be a hack cartoonist living in the shadow of Charles Shulz and Johnny Hart, but with enough residuals from licensing to pay for your tract house. By the way, Erma Bombeck says hi."Lowell Webster

Geesh, Mom. I wanted to be my Lord Satan, Hoary Leader of the Netherworld, but thanks to this dorky costume I look like Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light!Toozday

These new kid's radiation suits are great! I look so swell, I don't even care about the blisters!Andrew Barbour

Don't mess with me or you'll be puking pea soup before you can say "Linda Blair needs a career!"anon

You do realize sending me out into this neighborhood dressed like this is going to have me on an shrink's couch in 10 years.anon

Well, if you didn't want us sacrificing Dolly, you shouldn't have dressed her as a vestal virgin.anon

"Satan commands thee, MORE CANDY CORN!"Karen Anderson

Ya fuck with the bull ya get the horns!allnighter

"Well, how much candy did you expect me to get? It's the middle of JUNE, for chrissake."Jo Anne

Eternal Damnation or Treat! Eternal Damnation or Treat! Gimme something good to eat!Kurt L.

Mrs. Wilson down the street gave me an apple, so I ripped out her heart and fed it to her dog.Kurt L.

Well...I'm off to torment the Amish by preying on their superstitions. I'm sure I'll feel bad about this someday.Diggit

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