DFC #72

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Whoa Skip! Bitchin costume! I wish I'd thought to dress-up like "John Wayne Gacy"!kafka

This holiday is getting too commercialized. I remember when it was all about burning witches and sacrificing virgins.DMW

All I'm saying is that your bag looks an awful lot like Jeffy's drawing in #70 - if his is missing when I get home, I'm gunna' track you down clown-boy!BK

Make sure you hit Rickey Johnson's house. His mom is drunk and her blouse is hanging open. Oh, Rickey, is that you?Hugh Jass

Amazingly enough, I'm not trick or treating. My dad is stoned on the living room couch, so I gotta cover for him for a meeting tomorrow in Houston.Hugh Jass

Yeah, so what if I dress like Judy Garland and I listen to show tunes? Wanna make something of it, Bozo?zazu

Do I amuse you? Am I some kind of clown? Oh wait I fucked up the line again, how in the hell does Deniro do it? And did he have to look at a freaky big lipped clown to do it? Jesus I know I should have signed with Wizard Of ID!DarkURTHE

"...I'll explain the plan to you one more time Jeffrey. When Charlie Brown and his gang come by on their way to the pumpkin patch to see the Great Pumpkin we just sort of blend in with them. Follow them around, say 'good greif!', laugh at their jokes. We stay with them throughout the night and tommorrow when we wakeup we'll be in that Peanuts strip. In a land where big heads are the norm and ink isn't used like it's going out of style."The Aggie

"You can skip the brick house on the corner. Damn Jehovah's Witnesses are giving out 'How does Jehovah Feel About Alleged Christians Who Celebrate Pagan Holidays' pamphlets."Blake

Don't chew the "Trojans" chewing gum, it tastes like rubber.The Most Rev.Oley

Wearing a disguise pilfered from "Dick Tracy", Billy took advantage of the confusion sown by what would become known as the "Exxon Valdez of ink spills" to escape to "Zippy".Capt. phealy

That Mrs. Lockhorn is a helluva kisser!zazu

Yeah, well I'm undercover cop who likes to take his frustrations out on mimes!Nethicus

Those two girls over over there told me they have a fantasy about doin' it with a midget and a clown.Rishmawy

Psstt...just knocked off the Van Pelt's house movin' over to Dondi's! This halloween crap is great!toade

You make one more goddamn balloon animal and I'm gonna shove it up your ass!!!Rex Mucosa

"You get a lot more candy if, instead of `Trick or Treat,' you just quietly mutter, `I hope you'll give me an extra piece because Mommy's passed out on the couch and this is all I'm gonna eat for supper tonight.' "Lowell Webster

The Ravers down the street are givin' herbal X - - dude, I'm rushin' my _ass_ off!!Vice Pope Doug

The Satanists in the big dark house on the corner are doin' Dolly with a crucifix, on the altar, if ya wanna check it out. I'm gonna bail though -- I have a mother of a spelling test in the morning!Vice Pope Doug

Message to Mr. Keane: This kind of insensitivity MUST stop!The Homeless Persons & Clowns Anti-Defamation League

Don't go to my house. Bil put a bunch of razor blades in apples last night.anon

"You're lucky, man. Your mom makes you a REAL costume. All I ever get is old jackets and ties from back when dad used to have a job."Jo Anne

Shooting out that streetlight was a marvy idea my little droogy! I'll distract the little candybags and you surprise 'em with your lovely little shiny-sharp!patrik

Jesus Jeffy! You look just like that clown in "IT" - don't sneak up on a guy like that, ok? Jeffy? Jeffy?patrik

"If you hold your bag out and really low, you can see a whole lot of cleavage at the first house."anon

"You pick some strange-ass places to meet, Linus. Well, I've made up my mind. I want to defect."Mister Sinister

"I think I got a Discman in here too. I wish Da Bulls won it all every year."Mister Sinister

Do you have any matches? Mr. Jergen's giving out fruit again this year...Rotter

No! Look Tommy, I'm only gonna explain this to you one more time! I'm the one who holds the tellers at bay with the .357! Your job is to empty the contents of the vault into these trick or treat bags! I swear to God, if you screw this operation up, I'm gonna get Big Jeffy to break your legs again!Mojo Bohrovski

Hell, I dunno. Last I saw Jeffy, a mob of enraged Southern Baptist were tearing off his devil costume and beating the shit out of him.RBByrnes

Yo... There's some kid asleep over in the pumpkin patch. At midnight we're all heading over there to de-pants the sucker.Rich Coughlan

"Pardon me, I'm Billy Keane from down the street...my dad, Bil, who draws the marginally popular single-panel comic The Family Circus misplaced all of his art supplies recently, and until we find them he has to draw the comic with some of Mom's mascara and an old bottle of White-Out®. Have you seen any of those big kindergarten pencils around here anywhere?"zed who?

"Cut! Somebody clean that fucking lens! We can't tell what the fuck we're lookin' at!"zed who?

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