DFC #76

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Guess who just got that Henry freak to finally scream out in pain?zazu

Guess what, Mom! I got cast as Bart Simpson's stunt double! One more break like this and I'm out of this dead-end strip for good!Riff

Hey Mom, I'm startin' my own militia...wanna join?pillet

Ha, ha, ha, Mr. Mitchell, I believe this is what you were looking for. You are now powerless against me.Greg J

Grampa, are you sure those were nitro pills? None of them blew up. Grampa...?Greg J

According to this, the best place to start digging the well is right in the kitchen.Greg J

"Oh boy! I love a nice, healthy race war!"ddan

Guess what? Jeffy's head looks like a watermelon on the inside, too!Kurt L.

Look! The blood washed right off!jerright

"That'll teach those hippie freaks from Love Is... to walk around naked all the time!"zeddows 95

I got a pocket full of rocks! Go ahead, keep teasing me about the single nostril!BK

"Hey Mom! You know that obese cat that used to tap dance on the back fence?..."Blake

I finally nailed that rat that was holed up in the basement! Hot dog, we're eatin' MEAT tonight!Orion the Hunter

Boy, that red dot on Mrs. Patel's forehead makes a great target!zazu

Here! This'll hold up Grandma's goiter!zazu

Guess what? Jeffy was riding down the street on his bike I got off three shots from the bedroom-two of 'em to the head. So much for Oliver Stone's Theory!zazu

Well, you can forget about the "Seeing" part of Jensen's Seeing eye dog!zazu

Let me know when Barfy makes another "nature call" I'm out of ammunition.Tazabby

Hey Mom, this thing came in a box addressed to you labeled "Horney Harriet's Dildo Machine". Can I keep it?Jake

Hey, Mom, I found what Not Me used to take out the picture window. I guess you're sorry you blamed me, right?The Lawyer

I just knocked the stuffing out of that stupid Calvin kid's tiger. You should see him cry!Anastasia

I think I found the soft spot on PJ's head.DMW

After 200 solid hours of DOOM, Billy's rampage began.DMW

I'm all out of ammo. Got anymore mice?DMW

Hey mom, you're about to get a disturbing phone call from next door, but they're lying. ...by the way, we're out of eggs.Kurt L.

Hey! Did you know you can drive a ball bearing through someone's ribs and into their lungs with one of these? Ask Dolly if you don't believe me.anon

"Menace", my ass. Dennis the Snivelling Pushover is more like it.Paul Roub

I never thought the human skull could make such a hollow clunking sound!Nethicus

On the floor, bitch! just let me have those cookies, and nobody gets hurt. But if I hear any whispering I'll execute every last mother-fucking one of you!Such a nice boy!

Billy was overjoyed that the Warren Commission had stuck that patsy Oswald with all the blame.Capt. phealy

...so right when Brown gets right to the football, I mean within INCHES, I let this thing rip. The football drops right outta Lucy's hands and Brown falls right on his ass. I decided to leave when Linus called 9-1-1 'cus Charlie was just wailin' away on Lucy's head.BK

"Mom! Look! I built it from a kit! Ready for a pelvic exam?"The Sandman

Dolly! Jeffy! The baby sitter is DOWN! The rest of the weekend will RULE!Vice Pope Doug

I shot the street lights by the ATM out. Just let me get my bat and we're all set.anon

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