DFC #80

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"Pssst. Billy is trying to escape by hiding in that bag over there. I didn't tell him that Daddy's planning to burn the leaves."Blake

Fucking judge...community service my ass.Mattness

How come everytime he says, "Come'on it'll be fun!" it involves tools and sweat?rene

Luann just paraded by in a string bikini, and Daddy hasn't moved in five minutes! I see another jail term coming!Vice Pope Doug

I swear, Jeffy! You haven't said a word since you found out George Burns died! It was one night, Jeffy, and he was very drunk. You've got to move on!Vice Pope Doug

But that's always the first place Daddy checks when we play "Hide the Leaf."Soma

*giggle* I told you not to pick up the soap when you share the shower with Billy.B-Girl starring in The Traci Lords XXX-Travaganza

Of course your bottom is sore! You know better than to go in the basement when Billy and his friends are playing "Clockwork Orange"!Vice Pope Doug

Forget it, Jeffy! There's no way in hell you're gonna find your contact lens!Kurt L.

Psst! OK, we've got the leaves raked into a cross! Now let's light' em up and haul ass outta here, before the Jacksons notice we're on their lawn!Kurt L.

Hey, Jeffy, let's make a leaf pile to jump...Oh shit it's the DFC again...Hey, Jeffy, let's kill Billy and bury him under these leaves.Tazabby

You better hold on to your ass. Daddy's got that look in his eye again.D.E. Mac

...and Daddy said, "Hey, Thel, I could use a little head." Mommy just looked at him and said, "Look in the mirror, dumbass, you've already got one!" I damned near pissed my panties!The Lawyer

Psst . . . Tuesday . . . over the wall . . . don't tell the others . . . just you and me . . .Lyzza

Say, what's with the gas can and lighter?anon

I'm tellin' ya, you light the tree on fire, and during the ensuing chaos we bike over and see what kind of crater your pipebomb left in the hobo park.Ethelred

Who cares if 30 years from now, you'll be world famous for structuring most of your Unified Field Theory in your grade school years? You don't help me rake leaves, you don't get your damn allowance!Vice Pope Doug

Hey, Thereau! Why don't you grab a rake and contemplate raking some leaves!anon

Done with the roses? Great! Grab a couple more bran muffins and fertilize the azaleas!zazu

"I know you miss Mommy, Jeffy, but look at how green the lawn is now. . . "Capt. phealy

That's right, Jeffey, keep walking through the raked piles of leaves. I don't think Dad has caught on yet to our hourly rate scam.Meem

"Yeah, see, that's the brilliant part of it -- one of these leaf bags has P.J. in it, but they'll just figure it was one of those typical `inquisitive baby' situations and by then, he'll be compost."zeddux

Yeah that's it. Walk around with your hands on your ass, Einstein! zazu

Stop whining! We need the captions!zazu

For chrissakes Jeffy, "stick it wear the sun don't shine" is only a figure of speech"!zazu

Boy, the NAMBLA newsletter was right! You DO look like a young Tony Curtis! zazu

Cripes! Look at this mess! How many times do we gotta tell you not to run over dogs with the lawnmower?jerright

...and then Barfy dragged their stash out here and scattered it all over the yard. We gotta get this raked up before someone calls the cops.ferret

..yup the door was unlocked, I walked in and there he was snapping his zippy! I almost bust a gut! It couldn't have been more than 2 inch.. Shhh! Here he comes..zazu

Pssst... Get a load of Dad's small head.Rich Coughlan

Can we try to learn our lines somewhere the hell else? Like off camera?Horselover Fat

Pickin up after barfy an sam was ok , but your pet elephant has to go !flipper

Mommy said each one of these leaves stands for one of her shattered dreamsDogbowl

Why are your pants cuffed up? It's not like you're going to grow.DMW

I don't think Dad's fooling anybody with the old sweatsocks-down-the-front-of-the-pants trick.DMW

Finally! Ok, here's the wellcap. I'll lower you down and then run crying to the police. Remember, if we just keep our stories straight, by this time tomorrow we could all be in nice foster homes!Rotter

Hey Jeffy, would it kill you to help us clean up this dump before folks from Social Services arrive?Zebra

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